Aug 17, 2009
Hello everyone!!! Maybe someone will read my 1st Journal Entry and so I will say Welcome to you,who reads this.
I'd like to say,that this is my start here(18th/August/2009)and so I'll tell you a little bit about my story.OK?
Until the 30th of November 2002 I was a fit and healthy young lady. But on that day my horror began.I collapsed at home with extreme Backpain and passed out.When I came round I was no longer able to move or feel my left leg and my right one was all numb. And I had lost control of my bladder.In the following week I was soon diagnosed with severe spinal Stenosis (Narrowing in Vertabres)and a disk Prolapse(Disks that break or slip)I was then promised to be in the right hands and that I'll be walking with in 6 month. But a few hours later that Doctor suddenly told me that there was a switch gone off in my Brain and that we had to turn it back on.The most stupid thing I've ever heard.Over 5 years I then fought hard for the operation I needed to remove the pressure off my nerves,so I could recover and walk again.And one disk after another broke or slipped.But one Surgeon after another came with excuses but did nothing. I fought so hard until I saw 2 Surgeons in Southampton Hospital who then tlod me that it was too late and the disk that caused me to collapse in 2002 had now cut through my spinalcord.By doing simply nothing I am now paralised from the waste down and they said that if they touch it now they would course more damage then good.I was never given the choice. They just decided on it,forgetting that I have rights too.When they told me that it was to late and showed me that on my MRI Pictures,next to healthy spinal Pictures,I utterly broke down.For me the world broke apart and I could not believe how ignorant they were.Why me?What have I done to them,to be treated like that?On that day,,just before Christmas 2006,I lost all appetite and fun in life!!!I did not see the sense in life no more and dropped into a very deep depression.August 2007 my husband Terry took me then into Hospital,against my wishes that was,in a terrible state. I only weighed about 8 stone(Used to weigh about 15 or 16 stone)and I was just fed up.What I really needed by then was a good Psychological Therapy in a Hospital,to treat my loss of appetite,my suicidal thoughts and above all to help me out of this depression. But,believe it or not,this Psychiatrist I saw told me that there was nothing he wanted to do.I just left and Terry,well he totally lost it with them.He said that he was ashamed of this countrys Medical Service,infront of me(I am German)He said that it is unbelievable how ignorant they are and that they first ruin my life and Health and then they can not even be bothered to help me deal with all of this!!!Unbelievable!!!I just left in my WHeelchair and cried and cried and cried.I was crying out of sadness,anger,bitter emotions and above all because I could not understand why this help was always denied,no matter what happened!!Why???