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Overwhelmed and in tears

Aug 21, 2009 - 3 comments

My daughter started Kindergarten yesterday.  She was all excited and nervous. I told her everything would be fine and smiled. Even though deep inside I was falling apart. Public school scares the **** out of me know.  With kids and adults taking guns to school, bombs, etc. Ive already lost one of my babies, I wouldnt live if we lost her too. I tried my best to turn my worries over to God and let him carry me that morning. We get to her school and its instant chaos.  Ppl and kids are everywhere. My daughter didnt do Pre-K. So this is all new to her. We get her into the breakfast line and I went through it with her, helping her out. Thank Goodness I did because the lunch ladies werent about to make it easy for the little ones.  She ate her breakfast and then it was time for Mommy and Daddy to go.  I thought she'd go to her classroom after. Nope.. they sent us to the gym where she would sit on the floor against the wall and wait till her teacher came for her and her classmates. No biggy. We walked her in the gym and over to her area. I hugged her and kissed her. Told her to have a great day and that I loved her. All the while chokin back tears. She looked so little in that gym. And as I glanced back as we walked away, she looked scared and lost.

I came home and bawled for at least an hour. Then again a few hours later. Finally my hubby said enough is enough and he took me to Babies R Us to get our minds off the seperation. LOL.

When it was time we went and picked her up and she said she had a great time and couldnt wait to go back! UGH!! LOL. Im thrilled she settled in and had a wonderful time, but I guess a small part of me wanted her to say she was just as bummed as I was. LOL.

So then.. Fall Semester for college starts Monday. I have one class at the school and a couple online classes. Well Ive been checking my online classes and its been empty. Until last night! Suddenly theres page after page, link after link..of things I will be doing this semester. BAM!! Right then I start freakin out.. feeling overwhelmed. Realizing for the first time exactly how much I have and will be taking on this year.

And im scared to Death!! *sighs*

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by JoyRenee, Aug 21, 2009
I can relate! My 4-yr-old started preschool on Monday. It's not a typical preschool either. It's full day, all week preschool. We, too, don't take her to class but drop off in what we call Chapel (aka the auditorium- the school is historic and part of it is a church, though it's not a religious school).

It sounds like her teacher really helped ease her fears and she's going to make so many friends, learn so many things! It'll be great for her, even while it is hard for you. I just wrote an entire blog post about this on my blog. It's hard being a parent. It's super hard to let go!

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by blueeyedtabbycat, Aug 23, 2009
Aww hun, it does get easier, I promise. When my oldest started kindergarden I didnt want to leave him. I stayed after the bell rang and made the teacher late starting class, lol. I took tons of pictures though. When I look back on them now, I see what a big boy he was tying to be. It acually realy cute now, but he was as scared as I was:) My son Hunter will be starting kindergarden this year and im kinda sad about that because he has been home with me for about 4 years now, just him and I and now he will be going to school too. That just leaves me and the babies home during the day, ...............good I get a small break, lol!

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by AnnieBrooke, Aug 23, 2009
That's how I felt letting my 2 1/2 year old "solo" on a ride at the county fair for the first time, and I stood right near by!  Motherhood is one long letting go.  *Sniff*

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