Aug 08, 2014
Bad night. No sleep. Worst pain I've ever had compounded by a migraine. But I'm off to see my surgeon and am praying she will see me in this state and feel all my lumps and bumps and hear the horror story that is the past few months of my life and take pity.
I'm really upset because my plan for a sub teacher for my classes in September doesn't look like it's gonna work out so I am more afraid than ever that I may lose the business I worked so hard to build. It would break my heart like nothing else, the only thing that would be worse would be losing Andrew- but he's glued to my side (:
It's a road trip to the city with me, my mom, and Andrew. I'm scared.
I'm trying to be positive.
I'm trying not to anticipate.
I'm trying to stay in the moment.
But I have A LOT riding on this appointment so my friends PLEASE SAY SOME PRAYERS FOR ME!
You've all been amazing and I could not have made it through the past few months without you.
Please say this works. Please please please pretty please.
I will name my first born child after her if she operates sooner. Do you think if I tell her this it will work???
OMG I'm deliriously tired. This is the hour I usually go back to sleep.
The butcher knives are working me over good.
Into a hot shower I go.
I'm gonna wear a stretchy dress basically a tube of fabric because I'm too swollen to wear anything else. I look pregnant.
I can't wait to be pregnant for real.
Last night I was talking to A about all the plays I want to do when I get better. He just shook his head at me and said "Babe. You gotta slow down and take care of yourself. This is how you got here. And we need to have a baby."
He's right. So maybe just one or two plays. And then a baby.
Our baby would be so amazingly beautiful. We're a good looking couple (not to brag or anything) and incredibly intelligent and we're both pretty talented artists.
The kid would be super stubborn though.
I want this more than ANYTHING.
So eye on the prize Lu, eye on the prize.
I love you MH. If you don't hear from me later it's because they admitted me to hospital.
So prayers please!!!!!!