May 26, 2008
Today is a day for remembering. It's a day for remembering those who fought for our freedom, and those who died for freedom's sake. It's a day to remember those very young ones who were sent away to obscure countries for a governments obsession at that time, and those who never came home. It's a day to remember those blessed endearing people who have touched our lives in one way or another, and who made our lives different forever. I think that goes for living and dead. I feel compelled to tell those around me how much they mean to me, how much I appreciate that no matter what I have and have not done - there they still are.
Mr. and Mrs. McCrocklin were friends of my family. They didn't always come to the parties or holidays, but they were always there (always!) if there was an illness, death or any need for support. When I was a teenager and even in my twenties I did not appreciate these people like they deserved. In my young twisted mind I probably just figured they were misery seekers. The real sacrifice on their part was never really noticed by me and many others.
As always, I remember my brother today. He was a Vietnam Vet. It wasn't until many many years later that he became plagued with PTSD. He fell in to a deep hellish depression and eventually took his life. I know there were other circumstances as to why he died this way, but so much of the depression was from not talking about anything for years, then like a flooded dam, he just burst. Like me, he was a drug addict. He was one of the post war junkies that nobody knew how to help. I remember his smile, his humor, and his intelligent wit. That's the guy I'm remembering today.
One of my biggest heroes was that old woman who got up at 4am to feed cows, cooked three squares WITH pie even if there were few there to taste the beauty, loved Johnny Cash, crocheted for fun, and managed to laugh out loud every day even when her husband was lying in the vegetable garden drunk from the night before. Wish in one hand, **** in the other and see which one fills up faster is what my grandma would say! I miss her and today I remember her laughter, odd language, strength, and determination to never give up or go down without a fight. I feel so lucky to have her as a female role model!
They all deserve our fond memories, and tributes to their spirits. I am doing that, but those still here deserve this too. Where would we be if not for the love, concern and human compassion of the people that are in front of us right now. So today I am remembering, but not living in the past. The present deserves much more than that.