Kyle im stalking you : ) My doc was heroin and i completed the sub program to get off. Congratulations on day 1, man it really suks hey ? Did they give you comfort meds to use in your detox ? I really hope you can push through this, your detoxing a hard drug, but at least if you beat it, this will make you such a strong person, you'll be invisible. : )
Hey Kyle, dont be sorry. Your feeling like sh#t and you need to let it out. Can you get some Clonidine from the docs, anybody should prescribe it for you. Gee im so sorry, what mg are you going cold turkey from? Please dont give up hope, i was like that for months, but things do get better, after a couple weeks clean, the time goes by a lot quicker, did you talk to Weaver or Acting Brand New ? If not, i'll msg them for you !!! xx
I'm doing better but no I have no insurance , no doctors. I'm taking gabapentin and some kind of muscle relaxers at the moment and I'm ok but I'm thinking it has to get worse because I almost feel ok .... Feeling ok would make you think , great ... But it's frightening ... Is this day 2 or 3 ? I have no concept of time. I'm afraid that perhaps it's just not completely out of my system yet ? I was taking 40 mg a day for about a year ... But it ended up sometimes 70 mg a day. I couldn't imagine going without it , I can't imagine going without it still and hope that insurance comes through .... But anyway I thank you for checking in with he me. I did not contact anyone I don't want to bother anyone. I seem to have everything under control. I'm depressed but I guess I'm always depressed. I am feeling SO MUCH MORE than I used to .... It's difficult to say that I am happy about that or not but I'm interested to see what the outcome is. I only ever picked up these pills to see what they were like and then I found that they worked great to keep me calm. No anxiety. Then I realized I was hooked and went 12 data without and no sleep and begged for them back. That was 9 months ago. It's my birthday this month. Maybe it's all for a reason .... See now, I wouldmt normally think like that . ------ I hope all is well with you. I think it's great you lend an ear to people like us and hope that you've found happiness.
Hey Kyle, im glad you posted again, i think its day 3 for you now, but as you know its about a 12 hour time dif from me to you. At the moment its 2.25pm here on Wednesday arvo in Perth. Let me send Evan (ABN) a msg for you now ok. Hes got so much great info on Methadone, hes a real smart guy and great friend. I will do it now, please hang in there, i believe you may be feeling ok because of the gabba, im not sure its wise to take, you may have to withdrawl that too. I will check for you, just hold on xx
I read through this to try and understand everything you are going through. Let me see if I got it right. You are on day 2-3 of a cold turkey methadone withdrawal. You were taking 40 mg a day but sometimes up to 70 mg. You have no medical insurance right now and are currently self medicating with Gabapentin and muscle relaxers to help with the withdrawals. If you did have insurance, would you still be wanting to take the methadone or do you want to be off of it? People are supposed to come off methadone by a doctor supervised tapering plan. Methadone withdrawals last longer than opiate withdrawals. Here's is a little info I clipped from a couple articles for you.
"If you stop taking methadone all at once after being on maintenance treatment, symptoms of withdrawal will appear 24-48 hours after the last dose and increase in intensity for six days. They then begin to subside and most major symptoms are minimal by the 14th day. However, general discomfort, loss of appetite and insomnia may persist for as
long as six months and some people experience them for longer. These symptoms can be reduced and some eliminated, by withdrawing according to a slow, deliberate dose decrease. The longer the taper, the fewer symptoms you are likely to get and the more manageable they are likely to be. There is good evidence that a 6 month taper for example, has a much
higher success rate than a 21 day taper for most people, so take your time."
"Detoxing from methadone is widely regarded as one of the most difficult detoxifying processes. Many users report that methadone withdrawal is even worse than heroin withdrawal. Typically, withdrawal symptoms experienced from physical dependency on a drug are the opposites of the side effects those drugs produce. For example, methadone produces side effects that include drowsiness and constipation among others. In turn, withdrawal produces insomnia and diarrhea among other things. Because methadone acts as a pain reliever, detoxing off methadone can also trigger body aches and cramps and cause pain from injuries to return."
"In addition, since suicidal thoughts, hallucinations and depression are common psychological effects of methadone withdrawal, it's important to talk to someone about how you are feeling."
Were you prescribed methadone or were you getting it off the streets? If prescribed, why isn't your doc tapering you? If you were getting it off the streets then you will probably have to do the cold turkey thing. Just stay plugged into this site and try and find some support group. Having peers to lean on and talk to are very important right now. Cold turkey can be done. Get with Weaver...he came off methadone and is a great all around guy. Heres the link to his profile.
I would stay away from the Gabapentin and muscle relaxers unless your getting them from a doc. My opinion anyways. You can get addicted to those too. If you have any questions or just want to talk you can respond here or send me a private message. My name is Evan. I will keep you in my prayers.
CT of methadone is very intense, just remember the drug is making you think the way you are and your feelings returning can be overwhelming. Don't read too much into the thoughts and feelings, just surrender to the process and let time pass. I didn't want to live anymore either, but that passed to. I was up to 250mgs of street methadone and totally lost myself in that drug, but I came back. You will too. Evan asked a good question, are you ready to live without it or would you take it If you had access? That is THE question. You are only a year in, I used methadone about 8 years, it calmed me down so much it almost killed me. Every year that passes builds tolerance and quitting gets harder and harder.
Methadone takes 5 days for your last dose to leave your body. That is usually the peak of withdrawal for many, the first couple days are not too bad, comparatively. Other than benzodiazepines, I believe methadone is the worst detox out there. Only 10% of long time users ever stop. Other opiates hardly do anything, after a methadone addiction is formed. I encourage you to do some soul searching as to what you really want. If you decide methadone is for you, I suggest making it your home, friends, wife and family, because it will rob you of those things. You don't take a steady dose, just like me, so you like that buzz. Or that is how it was for me. I used to share with "friends" and run out, because that would get my tolerance low enough to feel it again. I feel bad about how my use hurt those who live me and who I love. I'm just glad I finally got away from it.
You are no bother to me, if you have any questions are just want to vent or anything, I'm here for you. Without the folks who walked me through it, I wouldn't even be alive to offer my help. Please, don't be shy, I am serious.
First amandag thank you for being more proactive than I , I just don't have it in me. Second thank you Evan and Tony as well .... Before I write a book you both want to know am I ready to do this , permanently. I don't know. No. Yes. No. No. No. I was only recently informed I might be able to get them back tomorrow. Forgive me for holding on to personal info , I feel protective. Of course I want off them , now that I think about it. I don't want to have to need them at all but I don't have any real true life support. The hours go on for years and I'm just not strong enough. What you say however , Tony, scares the hell out of me. I want a life but whether I have these pills or not doesn't seem to make a difference. I'm just weak and no I don't expect any sympathy. Soul searching is all I ever do. I stay on my room 24/7 .... This is my life. I never feel high on methadone. Never. I use them as a way to self medicate my mood. To feel normal. The stigma attached to the drugs however keeps it a secret and perhaps it's the one thing that brings shame. I don't know what I'll do ... I am in no frame of mind, I feel , to even make this decision. I'm alone. I'm scared. I'm sick as hell and I guess it's only going to get worse ?? I can't !! I'm so sorry , I feel like I've ****** up my life beyond repair and ....... I'm sorry to have wasted any of your time. I'm shocked to see how much you all seem to care. God bless the three of you
Hey there Kyle and welcome to MH. I just want to start by saying I am a married mother of 3. I had a many year love affair with vicodin. Never used methadone, so I can't attest to that drug. However, I can completely identify with drug addiction.
I know that you are in acute physical withdraws. I know you are in your own personal heII on so many levels...mentally, physically, spiritually. You are at this crossroads. You are day 3, nearing day 4of WD's. You are just shy of the 5 days it takes for methadone to leave your body according to Weavers info above. By choice or not, you are getting to that crucial 5 day mark. This is not a magical day that by any means you will be ready to take life by the reigns...but you are much closer than you have been in a year. Your life does not have to consist of sitting in your room 24/7. Your life has value and purpose...even though u can't see it right now...simply by being placed here in this world means you were meant to have a life of purpose. I promise you, I give you my word that you will never in your life regret getting clean and sober. Never. You will, however, live with regret for going back to your drug of choice.
Yes, it is your choice. We can't decide your life for you. We can only share our stories, encourage, and support you. I, for one, will worry. Will think about you. Will pray for you. Just try and spend the next minutes, hours, days doing your best to stay out of your head. Crank your favorite tunes. Watch some funny movies / tv shows. See if you can make it thru one more hour, one more day without picking up your drugs. Each day will get you closer to freedom.
I wish you the very best Kyle. Your life has value. You have a purpose. Whatever path you choose, you are in my prayers.
Hey Friend you have a lot of good people looking after your Best interest, that being said when I detoxed off methadone back in 1999 I was on Vicodin for 7 years and Methadone for about a year and a half. I'm not going to candy coat this so listen and listen well my Friend and Brother what Weaver is telling you is the GOD's honest Truth!!! Detoxing from Methadone is like calling through hell on your stomach pain, discomfort, severe insomnia and much more. Now the Wonderful news is after you take that trip through hell and you will Survive it you get your GOD given Life back. It's like being a child all over again Swimming at the Beach, enjoying video games, getting your Family and Friends to Believe in you again, becoming a participating and Respected person in your community. I'm 14 years clean and loving life at 55 y/0. I'm a Emergency Medical Technician for NY EMS and share my story with everyone so they can avoid what I been through and by The Grace of GOD Survived and Thrived with GOD Given Spititual that Never, Never, Never gives up!!!! You Can and will Do This. Methadone is the devils tool like all opiates if not taken for Severe pain such as Post surgery, Cancer, and all painful debilitating diseases. Carry On my Friend and Dare to Believe and Recieve. . . . .
Well, you haven't wasted anyones' time, I rest easier knowing you know where we are and that for some reason we truly care about you. When you are ready, you know there is help here for you. I sense you have access today and are going to get more, I so get that. It took me 2 1/2 years of trying to quite and relapsing over and over. If you do get more today, you can make the withdrawal easier on yourself by tapering down your dosage slowly. Jumping at 40-70mgs is a pretty rough ride, so I can see why you might go back for more. Thing is, truly consider what we have said here and please let us know how you are, even with a taper it will not be a walk in the park. We will walk with you through this hell though. The drug is making all the reasons you first took it worse, that progression will not stop until you do. You can love yourself and be free, jimi really expressed it well. There is a better life on the other side of methadone detox, better than any life you could possibly achieve while taking it, that is a promise. Keep us posted.
Guys, i dont know if my emotions are finally returning, but every single comment had me holding back my tears : (
Especially yours kyle, i dont want you to give up, but yes so many factors at the moment are enough reason for you to want to keep using..
I do respect that too.
But all i hear, is a kind, gentle man so broken and so fed up with his life, he wants to change but he doesnt see a future if he does.
Its excruciating just making the decision to want to stop.
Drugs had a hold on me so bad, i worked as an escort, selling myself for money that soon went on drugs. I never thought i'd stop because the money was so good and so easy. I had to switch off when i was working so i didnt remind myself of what a filthy disgusting thing i was doing to score. My point is, it doesnt matter how bad you get, or how bad things seem, one day we wake up and say enough is enough. Its never too late Kyle and maybe its not your time yet, but i believe its coming. I believe you will stop one day, im so sorry its not today. I feel like ive let you down, i should of tried harder to help you in the first couple days. You didnt waste anyones time, as J said, now you do know that people care, total strangers. Just let us know your ok from time to time. I will keep checking in on you. Take care Kyle xx
I wrote this thank you letter to each of you and well it didn't post I guess .... I thought it had been posted since yesterday ... So now I need to say this again though please forgive me, I must keep this short. I did get my insurance back and so I'm feeling SO much better today. Yes I'm back on my medication and I hate feeling that I let down the most wonderful people I've ever met ! Amandag , you went above and beyond the call of duty with me and I just cannot figure out why , so I stopped wondering and just take it that you're one of the most phenomenal human beings to ever grace this Earth. I am very sad to hear I am letting you down most of all .... but I swear to you , the medication brings a quality of life to me that I otherwise cannot achieve. I'm happy for all of you though who felt you needed to quit and move on and will continue supporting everyone who makes that decision. I know the hell you go through while you're on it and the hell you go through to get off it. Everyone is different though so please bear this in mind. I would not be able to be the person I am today , right now, when I need to be without this invaluable medication. However your words and time spent with writing me and thinking about me and praying for me did not go unnoticed. I am now conscious of what I'm swallowing and I no longer will take an extra dose because I'm having a bad day. I wish I could explain more but really I just want you all to know what spectacular people you are ! To take in a total stranger and give them your personal and private time free for no other reason than someone asked is saintly. Don't think I'm being silly either. Please , I'd very much like to get to know you now , all of you , now that I'm myself again. Now that I can think and breathe clearly. I just got out of the shower and I intend on taking another 1 hour walk as I did yesterday. Please please , allow me to be your friends now. I hope that it's not a case of problem solved and so now everyone moves on. I also have Facebook if that's easier to connect for a social reason , Kyle Bryan Moore of Phillipsburg NJ -- same as this site I think. Unless it was before I moved that I signed up ... Well -- I've got to get outside and enjoy the Autumn weather... Thank you all so much and Amandag you are extra special to me -- God bless you <3 ~
Hey Kyle, no problem, we all do understand..really !!! And its ok. Im also on facebook. Amanda Jackson Perth, Western Australia, i will look you up. Your already our friend Kyle, so dont think we would turn our back on you. Talk to you soon, much love and respect to you our friend xoxo
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.