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Sep 16, 2009 - 0 comments









help me

So, I went to the doctor today.  The usual.  I have no insurance fill out theses form that I don' want to and probably can't find the information they want nor do I have the gas money to drive to wehre I could get them.

They were real real nice though.  They gave me ativan and celexa.  So, far, it's kept from feeling like I should be committed like and insane person.  I still can't seem to handle the house and kids and noone else wants to either.

Except my older sister, she's here everyday as early as I need her to be.  She doesn't whatever needs to be done and doesn't complain.   I know she has her own life....but I swear at this point in my life....I have to thank her for mine.

She has kept me sane and comfortable when everyone else in my life just wants to run away from me.

Man, my husband,.....god who could EVER ask for a better one...certainly not me.  He has shown more love and attentativeness to my needs in the last few weeks than i knew existed.

So I am blessed.

Now, I'm praying to God to please take away all this shaking, crying, incapability and help me learn how to be the right person.  My children deserve a better parent and my husband deserves a better wife.  

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