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Update to previous Journal

Sep 18, 2009 - 9 comments

To my Family & Friends, thank you for the out pouring of love. The past couple of years have been extremely stressful for both of us. And it finally blew up in both of our faces. I don't sit around all day looking for sympathy just need to talk. As most of you know my hubby is my life and I am his. And yes he said some very hurtful things to me and he mean't them. I am still trying to digest what was said from both of us. I think we are going to weather through this storm. We have been through many, just not anything like my health issues. By the way hubby's test yesterday went well, he has an esophageal spasms, He needs to go to our Dr. for a follow and see if there is any treatment for it. He realized that he said things were not true. He came home from work yesterday and when he saw me went into sobbing.  I said why are you crying? He was truly afraid I would of committed suicide. And he had reason to worry. I kept thinking about my life. And alot of negative things out weighed the positive. I totally had a mental meltdown yesterday as most of you know. I did go to see an emergency Social Worker yesterday evening. It helped some. But yesterday and today I am so sick, I have no energy left. I am shaky and can barely get around our little home. My IBS has risen it angry head all week. I can't eat, I am trying to drink as much water and green tea. My Fibro. is the worst flare I have ever experienced. I can't shake the migraine. I want to take a shower, but I just don't have the energy. I hate the way I am feeling physically and I can't do anything to make it settle down.It hurts a little when I breath, but it feels like the pleurisy I have had a couple of times.  I have emailed my DR.  I just wanted to let you the latest, and that I am safe. Just so tired, I can't think or solve anything my mind is had enough for awhile.  

I am grateful to all of you here on MH for being there and listening. Sending me all the encouraging  notes and messages. You just don't how much you have saved me from harm. If I did not have all of you checking on me and we keep talking I would be so lonely. I don't have any friends here.  So you all are it:)  I am going to lay down for a while. I am home and safe, just a big emotional mess and in more pain than I have ever had from Fibo. with all the symptoms beating me up.  Thank you for letting me talk.

Love & hugs to all of you, you are stuck with still:)

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572651 tn?1531002957
by Lulu54, Sep 18, 2009
We are so pleased to be *stuck* with you Shar.  I hope you hear from your doctor and get some advice before settling in for the weekend.  

Chronic health problems can be so destructive on relationships and there can't be a one of us here who doesn't think of that one time or another.  We know what we are experiencing as the patient, but can only guess at the depths of the caregiver/partner/parent/friend.  

Thanks so much for letting us all share with you the update - I know everyone will be relieved to know you are home and resting.

hang in there, ok?

lots of love,

648910 tn?1290666683
by saveone, Sep 18, 2009
I am so glad we are stuck with you.  You hang in there and rest.  You can analyze anything while you are in pain and exhausted.  Just leave it lay until you can think with a clear mind,

Love and  (((((HUGS)))))


620923 tn?1452919248
by selmaS, Sep 18, 2009

So glad to hear hubby is relativly ok....and u r home.

I am sure u will weather this is a part of life to have these ps and downs....and it is time for u to have some up time.

I am here ne time u need to talk.

Take care of ur self and ur DH


518031 tn?1295578974
by jollyman069, Sep 18, 2009
hello i ave never talked with you but please pray to our does work and He will comfort you and help you....Good luck and God Bless...brian

525545 tn?1293184794
by SharJ, Sep 18, 2009
Thanks to each of you for your notes regarding my last journal entry. I know you all understand and we all go through the medical ups & downs, and sometimes for get those who love us and take care of us.

Here's to a wonderful weekend friends. I am going to spend it doing nothing but trying to rest up, and hopefully be able to eat once the IBS settles down.  I will be checking with my friend /family here on MH.  I love hearing from all of you. Once I get settled and rested I want to be 100% there for all of you. I don't want to let my MH family down:) Just gonna take time and now it is up  to God.

Please keep Mike (hubby) in your prayers for his anxiety, depression,and all the stress he carries within himself. He really is a loving man who would do anything to help anyone in need, now he is the one in need but won't admit it yet. He still is my knight in shinning armor for life. Thanks again:)

Love to all,

645390 tn?1338558977
by michelleric, Sep 18, 2009
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband today. Sorry I didn't see your message earlier. You are in such a dark sad place, I have been there myself in the past, and I know how awful it is.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we are all here for you and rooting for you.  Do you have a therapist you can talk to? I hope so, it really helped me to talk to someone who was not judgmental and I felt safe with.

I am pulling for you,
Big huge hugs,

293157 tn?1285877039
by Wobbly, Sep 18, 2009
Hang in there for you and your family... take one day at a time and hopefully things will get clearer and you will feel better soon.

thinking of you

483733 tn?1326802046
by TrudieC, Sep 18, 2009
Your journey has brought me to tears as I've ready your journals.  I truly feel that your marriage will make it throught this last upset and that you both will be there for each other.  I hope that you can forgive and forget and deal with the now.  You need each other.  Hang in there.  There is a rainbow on the other side.  Yes, I am an eternal optimist but it keeps me going.

Hugs, Trudie

535822 tn?1443980380
by margypops, Sep 19, 2009
I have just spotted your journal I was a Samaritan for many years in UK  if you ever want to chat sometime ,do Pm me .I dont sleep a lot and I work online , so I am always around, please know you are never alone looks as if you have many good friends best of Luck.. Marg

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