All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

not too young to die

Oct 14, 2014 - 0 comments

I'm 29 years old. I didn't take the best care of myself up, I abused ADD medication,  smoked weed for years, abused alcohol etc. I stopped all of that when I got pregnant with my son and haven't looked back. He's 15 months old now.
Since around May of this year I started feeling my heart race. I had 2 syncopal episodes where the room spun. One lasted two hours the other just minutes. Doctor's did not find anything except a racing heart.
I've monitored my blood pressure and pulse since then. The BP has ranged from normal to hypertension 1 in any given day. My pulse is anywhere from 80 to 125 sitting.

As I write I am feeling dizzy. Like a heavy feeling in my body for seconds then it goes away. I'm in nursing school so perhaps I know too much and worry too much. Nonetheless I feel my pulse and feel skipped beats during the dizziness. For the past 3 days I've felt this way constantly. It's get worse when I move but even with no movement I feel as if my body is turning off. Like I'll pass out. I saw a doctor today she blamed it on the Sudafed another doctor prescribed me for my sinus infection and if it's not that it's the sinus infection she said. If the symptoms worsen I'm to call otherwise discontinue the Sudafed and wait until next Friday to call her if it is still occurring.

I'm 29 & other then my recent weight gain of 15 pounds in the span of two months, and the medications I'm on for migraines I'm a healthy individual. I can't possibly have a heart problem. I can't possibly know my own body and know something is physically wrong and not just in my head.

What happened to believing the patient? To Miller's law, assume that what the patient says is true and approach the situation accordingly. One EKG won't show anything if you're not currently experiencing symptoms. A Holter monitor is needed and even then it can be days before the next episode.

I'm writing this all down because I'm frustrated. I feel like no doctor is truly listening to me. And I believe it's important I see a cardiologist. Let me waste my money proving the doctors right then they can get me an anti anxiety medication that actually works. I'll admit I'm a worrying fool then and I'll do everything I can to stop the hypochondriac thoughts then. I'll comply 100% with the psychiatric care and medication plan. Put my mind at ease that I'm not going to have a heart attack when no one is home. That I won't leave my son and husband with less then $100000 in life insurance and heart broken.

And besides the extreme thoughts, think of how disruptive dizziness is. I can't think clearly when it happens and feel clear headed when its over. Plus I'll be able to workout again and without worrying that the dizziness is a signal my brain isn't getting enough blood and oxygen.



Post a Comment