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4 June -  Psychiatrist

Jun 04, 2008 - 1 comments



downs syndrome


Breast Cancer







What a  farce yesterday was -  a very unprofessional appointment with a psychiatrist who had already labelled me and put me in a box before he met me.

I was refered to a psychiatrist to confirm PTSD for which I have been recieving counselling. I came out with a tentative diagnosis of Bi-Polar Type 2 disorder. I am totally confused as my symptoms do not meet any of the diagnostic criteria.

I have had a bad few months in March and April while the PTSD (from my ex husband trying to kill me and our daughter in 2004) resurfaced. I lost my appetite, felt guilty like I was failing at everything I did, couldn't sleep, felt hopless, worthless, cried a lot, had a couple of panic attacks. But this is not normal behaviour for me. I don't have mood swings, never have really high mania or hypermania swings, Yep I impulse spend  and comfort eat chocolate.

To give a little history -  I had a rough childhood, dysfunctional family life, bullied at school, took an overdose at 13, and pregnant at 15... my son was born with Downs Syndrome and my life changed forever...Yep I have periods of high very high stress as David is also Autistic and I had to fight till he was 10 to get the dual diagnosis. As a young single mum with a special needs child and little support I learnt that chocolate and spending were the only comforts available to me.

When I got the dual diagnosis I fell apart I was refered to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with reactive depresion, saw me twice and said I would eb fine and I was.

My ex husband is diagnosed with Cluster B type personality -  strongly Sociopath and narcasistic- he has OCD Homicide, Bi-polar, and is an alcoholic amongst other things. We had 3 years of fantastic marriage -  I was the happiest I have ever been -  he was a consumate actor and it was having a daughter that ought his inside outside -  he tried to kill us and then later talked about the real him with all his hurrendous fantasies.

he is trying to get access or custody of our daughter and that triggered the flashbacks and the fears and the PTSD -

Now this psyhiatrist I saw yesterday says the external factors just mask a hidden mental health issue that has made it hard for em to cope with the life events... he said it is not Bi Polar but he thinks it is Bi-polar type 2-

I feel strongly that I am reacting to life issues and 3 episodes in 20 years cannot make a mental health disorder....

I am also currently undergoing investigation for possible breast cancer and waiting a core needle biopsy on Friday 13th June... again a huge stress for a single parent with little family support, a special needs child and a toddler to consider.

The psychiatrist wants to do a fullblood count and check my thyroid and pituitary gland -  ( I dont have excess energy, I have thick hair, I am about 30lbs over weight -  so not an overactive thyroid me thinks!! ) He is seeing me again in 2 months.

During the appointment he took 5 phone calls all wrong numbers from some crazy woman telling him he was dumped and the affair was over... he and the two mental health nurses were in hysterics about it -the whole appointment has done nothing but drag me down and make me feel boxed in.

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by Irishgal2, Jun 04, 2008
No wonder you are all over the place, just read back your post and see what you have had to content with in the past. Well?  And guess what, you are still hear raising your two kids and fighting for a better life.  I really do take my hat off to you.

Being a single mother at 15 would be hard enough, but with the child being special needs on top of that, well I applaud you, not many would have coped like you.  There are familys with mature older parents (both) who would not have survived the trauma and stress of the birth of you're son.

Ok, we all make mistakes and pick the wrong men, not many women have'nt.  So you went one step further than me and married him, but this is just unfortunate.  I ended my engagement and then met a nice guy.  Having said that, you have a beautiful daughter as a result and that cannot be a bad thing.  You husband has loads of problems, but they are his problems not yours any more. Put him to the back or your mind, it his not going to feature in your life or your daughters, make that promise to yourself and focus on you and your two lovely kids.

My advise is to forget the Psychiatrist at the moment and just focus on getting the BC diagnosis first.  I think a councellor or Psycologist may be more up your street.  You don't sound as if you have a mental problem, more a hectic and stressful life and never a break in sight.  You seem to have one battle to fight after the other.  I think a councellor may be just what you need, someone to talk to, to let out your emotions and plan ahead and most of all, dream again about a brighter future.  Don't try to pigeon hole your feelings into a box and metal condition.  Just talk to someone to get things off your chest.  To hell with a diagnosis at the moment.

If you do attend any treatment for what seems like temporary depression, my strong advise is not to let your ex husband get wind of it.  You do not want him to use this against you in the custody battle.

So last but not least, open a bottle of wine tonight or your favourite tipple, gets some snacks or tortilla's, put on your furry slippers, get a funny chick flick DVD, put the kids to bed, put your feet up and say "I deserve it!!  Believe me you do, you have had so much to content with in your life so far, look to a brighter future.

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