Nov 07, 2014
I'm so full of anger and yes rage lately. It seems like I am mad at everyone and everything. No matter what I do, I can't seem to get it under control. I've tried exercising, walking around my neighborhood, vacuuming, and cleaning my house. I did 6 loads of laundry today, that really didn't need to be done, just so I could try to focus on something besides my anger. Here is just some of the things I am angry about:
Road rage. I live in the middle of 3 Elementary schools. There are big yellow school busses everywhere. No matter what time of the day I go out, I am having to deal with damn school busses. Today, one school buss changed lanes with no signal, and cut me off. I had to slam on my brakes and nearly sent myself through
the windshield. Thank God for seat belts. Then, a school bus made a left turn in front of me, and again I had to slam on the brakes. I mean I know we are supposed to be very careful around school busses, but seriously? Do these drivers have to obey traffic laws like the rest of us? Do they have to pass any kind of driving test? I was so angry I was shaking when I got home.
My next door neighbor. They just moved in about a month or so ago. I was very nice and neighborly. I went over to their house, (did I mention that it's right next door?), and I welcomed them to the neighborhood, and told them to let me know if they needed anything. Now, I swear I am so angry, I'm ready to call the cops on them. My neighbor is a single mom with 7 (yes, that is Seven) kids. 5 boys and 2 girls. They range in age from about 14 to an infant. Well, my bedroom faces the front of their house. The mother lets those urchins out at 6:30 AM! They are in their yard, and mine, screaming, yelling, crying, and fighting, while I am trying to sleep! Then the mother will come outside and scream and cuss (she says some very bad words) and tell the kids to shut up. This happens almost every morning. I am so sick of it that I am now sleeping downstairs, on the couch in the back of the house. The other thing is that when the kids are outside screaming and yelling, they set off all the dogs in the neighborhood, and the barking starts!
The Post Office. They have been trying to deliver a package to me for over 2 weeks! They keep leaving me a damn note in my mailbox, that I need to sign for delivery and to reschedule. I have signed the damn paper, and rescheduled it for delivery 3 Effing times! I have waited at home, and they still put the stinking note in my mailbox! So, I guess tomorrow I will have to go down there, and show them some of my rage. No offense to anyone who works for the US Post Office, but my mail carrier(s) SUCK! I swear they don't deliver the mail every day. They are too lazy to walk the 30 feet from my mailbox to my door to deliver the package.
My Roomate. She has a new job, and is able to work from home. She loves it! Me, not so much. This means that we are now in the same house nearly 24-7. She works for a call center & ties up the phone for 9 hours a day! She hogs all the bandwidth on the Internet. This is just not working for me. I NEED MY SPACE!
All of this anger is keeping me away from responding and replying on the forum. It feels like I read every post with a huge amount of skepticism. I'm so afraid I will go off on someone, and get myself in trouble. Not to mention hurt someone's feelings. So, until I get this resolved and get over this rage, I have been refraining from posting.
Lastly, this is affecting my sleep. My mind just races with angry thoughts. Thus, here I am at 2AM. I really hope and pray that this awful emotion passes soon. I am not typically and angry person. I don't like what this is doing to me. I hope writing my feelings down will help.