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This is getting OLD!!!!!!!!!!!

Jun 05, 2008 - 11 comments
Tags:

METHADONE DETOX

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methadone withdrawal

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Methadone addiction

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methadone

,

Addiction



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I am sitting here wishing someone would respond to me (my presence) any posts Ive made. I feel so desperate. I am going back to my hell hole methadone clinic tomorrow. I tried cold turkey for 3 days off methadone and caved this afternoon. I had a little 20 m bottle saved sitting on my bedside table mocking me!!! So I called the only friend or family in the entire world. My ex husband (BTW I was doing this at home all alone except for 2 young kiddos) I cried to him and he agreed to drive all the way to my town on sat to bring me a bottle of vicky .clonazepam, some prescription sleep aid and some other stuff he read would help my detox. I CANT DO THIS ALONE> Ive done it befor but this time seemed so much worse. So am I kidding myself? Will I go back to using? I am so tired of this life. I will be 40 in three years 5 kids married 3 times and I want a life now. I want to go to school. I want to be somebody. I want to make friends and keep them. I want to get married again one day and if that happens befor 40 I want another kid. I want alot that doesnt mix well with drug addiction. I WANT ME BACK. I want to kick the **** out of methadone and NEVEr see it again. I will write my rant later on my views of methadone and the clinics its given at. I HATE methadone!!!!! I just need some support. I need someone to talk to .I NEED A FRIEND>

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526000 tn?1213155502
by blondesomething, Jun 05, 2008
hi there, im pretty new on here, but, stopped by to say, your doing well ok,, hang in there, it will be worth it in the long run, you have so much to live for, you need to stop thinking of what you havent got, and what you have got in life, and thats life itself, with 5 lovely kids you brought into this world, you owe it to them and to yourself most of all to get clean girl ok.... and you can and will do it,,,,, mostly for your own self esteme, lecture over with now,, lol

if you need to chat,, give me sign ok,,,,

take care,,,

keep your head held high cos youve done really well up till now ok..

495284 tn?1333894042
by dominosarah, Jun 05, 2008
Hi. this is sara..........you will find many friends on here. I know you feel all alone and that is a terrible feeling to have but trust me you are not alone.  There are sooooo many wonderful people here, just right now i think they are all in bed.  There are a few who have done the methadone thing and i will let them know about you and they will have a wealth of information.  I dont know about that so cant help.  I just wanted to let you know that you have come to the right place and the friendship is real and the words are comforting.  Hang in there as we will all be behind you helping you along.  You have alot to be thankful for.  I am 47 yrs old, been married 3 times and a recovering pill addict.  Before all of things we want to do can even be a reality we need to be clean.  We deserve that and then things will fall into place.  We have to get ourselves back and that can be done by our pure determination and this forum.  I will be checking in tomorrow.               sara

527984 tn?1212684823
by Nonfatproduct, Jun 05, 2008
i'm there for ya 100%. We all are. O M G i jut wana sleep... or take some pillls and stay up and have sex or something... lol anyway i hear ya... when/if i fall asleep tonight, well tomorrow will be day3 for me and ya... ya know i really dont wann sit here and type anymore.. but then again ireally dont wanna do anything...  well hun all my love and ill talk to ya soon!

Aaron

Avatar universal
by sadinmichigan, Jun 05, 2008
I here you loud and clear..I felt the exact same way.We have similar situations..I also was married 3 times..I already turned 40..but I kicked methadone almost 2 yrs ago on Aug 1..Obviously the physical w/ds are very hard..But you can do this..You need to..Would your ex be willing to stay and help you out a bit? You definately will need help with the kids..I sent you a pm..I just want you to know that you are not alone and once youget through this..it will be done..please don;t go back to that hell hole clinic..I hate methadone too i hate those clinics..You can do it..please try a little longer..just take it 1 hr at a time..

340590 tn?1290952141
by cathy5841, Jun 05, 2008
sorry you are feeling so alone.  methadone is a hard detox and you should probably try a slow taper.  i am here if you wnna chat.

Avatar universal
by katemom, Jun 05, 2008
my daughter's friend just died using methadone. he was using somebody else's script to get the buzz and just dropped dead from a heart attack. So I'm confused here. Isn't methadone used to kick heroin? Can't somebody give you an alternative other than methadone to help you, like a long-acting low-dose benzo? I'm not being a weirdo, I genuinely don't know.

532907 tn?1213473120
by eden_leah, Jun 14, 2008
hey, my name is Eden, I dont really know you and I cant say that I have ever tried Methadone, well no thats a lie I did it once, and didnt like it thankfully, but Cocaine was my,  drug of choice, and its pretty hard to get off of also, I went cold turkey on that one, with a 2 year old, no fun at all if you ever need to talk then just message me and tell me if you have a messenger of some sort, Im home all the time, my husband works A LOT and if your talking to someone maybe you wont be tempted to do the drugs.  Hope I can help.

Eden

Avatar universal
by 122 Tactical Fighter Group, Jun 14, 2008
If you go back to the clinic you just go back to a legal drug dealer. I have methadone experience. It is a horrible drug. If you chose it you will be in line for years of "therapy" - and there will always be the withdrawal monster waiting at the end. Many say that w/d's from 30mg of methadone are no worse or better than from 3mg of methadone....I say get tough and mad - use the vitamins and supplements and stay strong with nuttrition....you can do this and have your world back - - best of luck - eagle

Avatar universal
by shabbycat, Jun 15, 2008
I have 11 days away from the hell hole methadone clinic and Ill do ne thing to stay away. I am having pure ******* hell here but going to the methadone clinic is NOT an option for me at all. Sad thing is my ex eho is hearing the suffering over the phone wants me to go back to the clinic. This kind of scares me. I told him I just need to be able to sleep. Hes just worried for me and his daughter. He thinks it would be better to do this inpatient and insured. Well I do not wanna get a job get back on the evil drug and then have to leave a job to get off it again. He just doesnt understand,


I am doin ok. I am taking my daughter to go out to eat today and tomorrow we hit SEA WORLD> We will see how I handle that one. :)

Avatar universal
by alexinconifer, Oct 02, 2008
Hi , I hope your desire for a better life continues to outweigh the ravages of your addiction, the detox is a given but you need to have professional help with that, your ex cannot prescribe drugs to you, not only is this potentially disastrous , it's still using , detoxing as you know is not fun, mixed with a unknown cocktail of other drugs could be fatal, alcohol, opiates and valium all have problematic detoxes and need professional monitering. After a succesful detox, take your *** to a meeting, as soon as that one wears off , take your *** to another, and another, and another, once again not all that much fun, but sure beats the alternative, I've been clean for 10 years, my wife for 12 we still go to our meetings every week and in the process have made the best friends of our life, life today is good, but it still takes work ! You can do it, you already carry the most important component and that is the desire for something better,you have to make a firm decision -one life or the other- addicts like us don't get have both, people that are allergic to nuts , sure as hell don't eat peanut butter, we are allergic to drugs, our medicine is meetings. good luck to you, we live our lives one day at a time and just for today I will not use, try it it works !

Avatar universal
by ktlane13, Apr 28, 2010
i went to methadone clinic for three years taking 90 mgs the entire time.  my last year in the clinic i was so sick pukin every single day, an im just a small girl 110 pounds.  i went to the e.r twice and they didnt do ****, i was so sick already that i just stopped going to my clinic.  on mAy 13, it will be 5 months since ive been out that place.  I am greatful that there was methadone when i was a drug addict because it gave me a chance to get my head straight and have a job and be able to maintain but i honestly wish i would have known HOW EASY it is to get caught up and how scarey it is to even think about coming off methadone.  my first 2 months straight were hell, no sleep, cold sweats, twitchin arms and legs at night, not being able to eat or drink.  my potassium got so low it was scarey.  i wish that they would educate people more about how MUCH harder it is to come off methadone.  The only good thing is after three years of being "clean" you have a chance to get the addiction out of your head and be a right place there but when your coming off and so sick how much will power can you really have??? people just dont get it.  Ive been perfect everyday the last month, I have to take benzos maybe once a week for anxiety and i HAVE to smoke a ton of weed but besides that im makin it.  This last week however I have felt so sick and hot and just terrible and if youve came over methadone you know what im talkin about.. i dont know if anyone else has been out and gone a few months being fine and then had withdrawls kick back in??  its so frusterating to work this hard and come this far and to still have days where you just feel like ****.   Congrats to ANYONE who has come off methadone or even put in the effort it is not easy but everyday that goes by is a new day and it will get better. =]  how long can withdrawls last for once your off? does anyone no?

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