Oct 10, 2009
This past week I found out my brother's siding brake had been stolen from my garage ... funny thing ... I locked the garage with a witness. My keys were borrowed to open another garage and somehow .. the one I locked got opened with a key on the same ring. While his brake was expensive, and I needed it to finish siding my house, it was the last possession of his besides an old tattered yellow checkered flannel shirt.
Now .. tonight, I have found my gold ring missing from my windowsill in the kitchen .. was there earlier ... and a bag of jewelry I thought of selling to make ends meet ... along with Michael's necklace and watch that I had bought him 7-8 years ago .. (he died in March ... and I kept those as they were his prized possessions .. he never took the necklace off until he went to Minnesota and died). They are all gone!
Finally, the little green satin bag that held a black pearl with a tiny diamond necklace .. and the gold cross with a small diamond in the center .. a gift from my grandmother's brother to her when he was in the war and diagnosed with stomach cancer ... which she and grandpa passed on to me (the eldest granddaughter) when I was around 18 years old .. is also gone. I was going to give it to Kalista, my youngest, after all she has been through with the leukemia.
There is a common factor amongst these disappearances, one person, who is new to the "clan" ... and while I do not like to point fingers ... one must question this. I am sick because of the betrayal and sick to my tummy because of the sentiment behind those things of Michael and Grandma ... those can not be replaced.
I could sit and cry, but I must remember these are only things ... the fact they were stolen does not take away the sentiment or the memories and the manner they were given. It is sad to me that my Grandmother's cross can not be passed down to my granddaughter, or Michael's necklace and watch cannot be given to my grandsons or the pearl necklace to my other granddaughter.
I've survived all of the trials of this past year and a half ... and am going to counseling (group and individual) on an intensive basis. I am learning and growing and finding out more about me and how to be a better person. I CHOOSE to find happiness and live life to it's fullest and be grateful for each day of life G-d grants me. I am truly blessed beyond belief with the love of my MedHelp family and a few tenured friends .. and a few new ones that care for me and uphold me when my strength fails.
From the bottom of my heart .. I thank each of you and want you to know YOU make a difference in my life .. and those of others. Be YOU and be the individual you were meant to be .. and keep striving to always grow and understand ... your life will be blessed; G-d always loves you.