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So Frustrated

Oct 11, 2009 - 11 comments

Ok, im not sure anyone will read this but i guess it will make me feel a little better by writing it. Me and Trinity's father is not together anymore and he moved out end of August.  He actually had the nerves to say he wants a paternity test, WTH, how could he ask for one when he was the one layn down with me everytime i said im ovulating or asking me when will i be ovulating, oh well, we go to court next month.  Im pissed bcuz i have PPD, anxiety and major lack of sleep, i dont think i been sleep since the day i went in for my induction on 9-17-09.  He comes over to spend time with the baby but has not spent no longer than 4 hours the times he comes, it s-u cks he gets to sleep in at his place or dont have to get up and warm up bottles, and on top of it, he wants joint custody, WHAT, are you kidding me, we are talking about a person who feeds her and says i cant get her to burp after 2 min then hands her to me, or say why is she cryn, here take her, i dont no why she is cryn, well i am RELEARNING this all over again myself, my son is 14 i am rusty at this.  One day he came by for an hour, fed her, held her and said ok, i ll be back in 3 days wth, why waste our time.  Im on the verge of not letting him come by and letting the court determine his visitation days/hours.  As far as joint custody, i dont plan on givn him that while she is so young, mayb in a few years we can talk about it again.

Im also pissed off bcuz here i think i have found the person i want to spend the rest of my life with and have a family with and here i am AGAIN a single parent.  I did not wait 14 years to be a single parent again, i did not wait 8 yrs to get into a relationship and let him in my sons life for it to end.  I did not invest two years of long distance traveling and supporting him, i practically should have paid taxes in Georgia, thats how much i was there, not jus for 3 days but i would be there for like 2-3 weeks at a time, and sometimes i would be there twice a month, ughhhh, i am so freakn angry its unreal

i no i have to do what is best for my 2 kids, and i will. im jus so upset at the moment

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Avatar universal
by bam1014, Oct 11, 2009
I'm so sorry you are going through all that hun.  ((((BIG HUGS))))

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by anxious2, Oct 11, 2009
It seems like even though you are going through this.. you got a plan.. You know what you will and will not allow for you and your child. Continue to be strong and be there for your kids. I'm a firm believe in prayer so I will be say a prayer for you.

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by peggy64, Oct 11, 2009
So sorry you are going through this. This is a perfect example of why Gods plan is the best way.
hope you get some sleep.

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by margypops, Oct 11, 2009
Oh crumbs really does get you down doesnt it, I know it really isnt fair.....Its good you came here to write it out and have some release,one thing I do know it never stands still and when you are down theres only one way and thats  Up, you just had a baby its a wonderful, exhausting,  tearful, amazing time, its one you never forget...never those first weeks and months.... its always remembered and missed me ..there are always shoulders to lean on   and folks who care .come chat when you want to....

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by Jen133, Oct 11, 2009
Oh sweetie, I'm sooo soorryyyy!! I thought he was the one.  Right now he is just being an immature p r i c k!  Why would he do all of this, and spend all that time with your son.... But you are a strong woman, and even though you are going through this now, I know you will pick yourself up again and do what's best for your babies!! Hang in there sweetie, I know is easier said than done... Big HUGGSSS to ya!!!!


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by nina2249, Oct 11, 2009
Im so sorry girl.. Wow all this **** he did after the baby was born. Is this his first child.. Whats his reasoning for the behavior did he say.. I cant imagine you do all what you did and he just bails on you. To stay stress free and get some rest I wouldn't let his *** see the baby til the court rule in whos favor.. as long as you have a court date tell him to stay away and theirs nothing he can say or do.. You tell him let the court decide and remind him of the court date. and you will see him then maybe by then he will realize what he left. He is playing mind games with your emotions especially just after the birth of the beautiful baby. But I wouldn't let his *** near me or sit in my home... WTF... When the court rules then he can get the baby and visit then.. JUST REMEMBER TO KEEP A JOURNAL OF EVERY VISIT,  HOW LONG WHAT HE DID ECT,EVERY PHONE CALL EVERY LICKEN DIME HE GIVES YOU,IF HE TURNED BILLS OFF IN HIS NAME ECT . CAUSE THE JUDGE LOVES IT WHEN YOU HAVE INFO THE OTHER HALF CANT REMEMBER..  THEY FROWN ON BAD BEHAVIOR. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I ALMOST GOT A DIVORCE 10YRS AGO BUT WE WORKED THROUGH IT AND IT COULDN'T BE BETTER. TODAY WERE BEST FRIENDS.. BUT MY LAWYER SAID KEEP A JOURNAL ABOUT EVERYTHING.. GOOD LUCK!

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by carebear0202, Oct 12, 2009
Oh man I am so sorry you are going through this! I know how tired you are and probably just long for a few extra hours of sleep and maybe a hot, long, quiet bath! My husband was not the best thing in the beginning of London's life either. I did not think we would make it through. I was soooooo exhausted and he just would not help me. All I wanted was a little quiet time in the tub. He would bring that boy into the bathroom and put him into a boppy pillow on the floor next to the tub...I could have knocked that man out on days like that!!! Thankfully we made it through and now he is in love with him. Geez...I sure thought you had a keeper on your side. Pull yourself together and lean on family and friends to help you through! Call over some of them folks even if you just want to take a good nap! They will come!! Sending love your way, Cari

Avatar universal
by amy0013, Oct 12, 2009
I am soooo sorry hun.  :(  I had no idea!!!  What an a$$'m just in shock how he's acting.  I agree with Nina...write EVERYTHING down.  Keep a journal of how incompetent he is with Trinity.  No judge would allow joint custody if they knew how uncomfortable he was around her.  

Hang in there.  Take advantage of any and all help you can get!  Your mom...your sisters...anyone!  Take naps as often as possible and most of all...take it one day at a time and take care of YOURSELF.  


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by Ready_4_Baby_2, Oct 21, 2009
Ahhh I'm sorry you have to thru this. I'm glad your daughter is sleeping a little longer and believe me things will get better. It may not look like it at the moment but it will.

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by diamondtp546, Jun 24, 2010
u will be okay  sweetie take care of them babies nobody will ever take care of them better than u ever have. as for him for get him. the way he acting ain't called for. he sure did pick a bad time to want to do him. there's nothing else u could do about him acting silly. you have done this well raising your son i am sure u can do the same with your daughter. keep your focus forward nothing will be able to get in your way.i know u dont like being a single parent but please believe you will find mr. right that will take care of u and your babies just keep your head up. i respect you for being a single parent & still able to manage do your thang girl!!

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by Cubanmulatta, Jun 29, 2010
It's really sad to here about your baby's father acting ridiculous.  Here I am married to the most loving and caring man in the world and he can't conceive a child (which is why we're going through FT).  Then there are men that are able to and don't give a damn. They just don't know how to appreciate it.

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