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20091017--Up and down and start over again and again and again

Oct 17, 2009 - 0 comments







mood stability

After two years of feeling mostly paralyzed by depression, a couple of months ago I go into a hypomanic episode with one terrifying day where I felt as if I was outside my body watching me have inappropriate behavior such as behaving obnoxious, rude, and hypersexual.  I have been all before, but this time I really felt out of control and incapable of self assessment.  My meds have been adjusted every two weeks and with an increased dose of lithium a few weeks ago, I felt better, until the last two days.  This morning I read a little of the BP journal I subscribe to and felt the pain and heavy burden that most of us BP's feel.  So much stigma, so much misunderstanding, so much disrespect by even those who have BP buy have milder symptoms.  I will continue to have a successful life, albeit, not as successful if I did not have such a weight to bear.  I will continue to put up with the widespread ignorance of even those who think they are open-minded and educated.  I will continue to advocate for the understanding of those of us with BP regardless of acceptance or not. I will listen to my pdoc to maintain the mood tracker this time.

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