Oct 19, 2009
I can hardly believe Michaela is nearly nine months old (on Friday). how time passes as our little babies turn into people. She is a bright and delightful baby.
Am still breastfeeding. To be honest am finding it harder and harder, though I recognise the value of it, and need to continue..... particularly as I also suspect M has a problem with Dairy (she had tummy troubles after trying baby yoghurt, and also after a little pasta sauce that contained cream). I don't want her to have to go to formula and she is definitely too young to be on a regular diet without milk, particularly as I am suspecting some food allergy issues are beginning to arise. She has been having incredibly horrid poops: not just smelly, but totally disgusting and makes one want to vomit even to go near her when she's done one (she was hospitalised with croup weekend before last (needed adrenaline and epinephrine to get her breathing properly), which also coincided with her worst ever nappy: so I suspect that the reaction was also at least partially allergic related). Anyway, given the suspected allergy issues: I backed off and over the weekend gave her breast milk only (and things on the nappy front reverted back to merely unpleasant).
This week we're starting with food again and keeping a diary and starting off this week with just carrot and pumpkin (which were her first foods and which we know are ok) and rice cereal. If this is fine after 1 week, I'll add in a few more things slowly (they say at least 3 days per new food) until we can identify what the problems are. Suspecting tomato is one (M had had some tomato the meal prior to the croup and breathing problems), which my twin sister and I find is an asthma trigger for us, and some of my other sister's also have problems with (triggering arthritis like symptoms for them) (we find this is dose related, with small amounts of fresh tomato being ok, but larger amounts and tomato paste not being)....
On the breastfeeding side: I no longer get milk letdown with pumping or manual expression at all... so pumping is like trying to get blood out of a stone! A big soft useless stone. Hahaha.... what an analogy. I can usually get a couple of oz reluctantly with much time and effort and not very comfortably (so I guess this compounds the problem of let down).
I've found that really the only and least uncomfortable way is to have her suck on 1 side while I pump the other, which rather takes away from intimacy of the breastfeeding experience - because I am busy trying to pump instead of focussing on her. And she is not always willing and eager to suck when I need to get the milk (ie. first thing in the mornign when I'm trying to head off to work, or lunch time before heading back to the office). In evenings when I'm home we just directly breastfeed, without problem.
Added to this I think I have an ongoing problem (though milder than before) with candida still, so that one side is always sore when she *****, or when I pump.... and added to that a frequent relatively mild (but no less uncomfortable) mastitis affecting mostly the same side that has the 'suspected by me' candida problem, but sometimes the other. I had thought that breastfeeding would get easier with time, but it actually seems to be getting harder. I know I need to keep doing this until she is at least 1 year, and given the probable dairy issue, actually as much longer as I can manage.
I guess there are no easy answers but to persist. I am just venting here because I really need to express this so that i can continue with this major effort, which I am still so very committed to, even though I am discouraged for now.
I continue to be surprised / shocked by the total lack of support of the medical profession here, at least those I've met. When M was in the hospital, the Resident Drs. all expressed surprise that I was still exclusively breastfeeding a 8 1/2 mo baby. Though what a blessing it was to be able to breastfeed her when she was so sick... (Saw my allergy dr. though - she had another patient on the same floor: and ended up having a talk with her. She was very very supportive of my efforts. Will take M to see her if the suspected allergy issues continue). To my endocrinologist who tells me I should stop already (he's worried about high prolactin levels and effect on pituitary adenoma - told him I was prepared to take that risk)..... to people in supermarkets..... some women expressing support, but most surprise (amazing the conversations one strikes up in supermarket queues....