Oct 23, 2009
Finally a good day! I went to see my mom yesterday and i'm still there and she's doing ok. She's on stronger dose of morphine but thats ok and her lung cancer and brain is stable but she got a new metastase in liver... I something predictable with a generalised cancer...
My neck is 20% better today and have been yesterday after diner. Suboccipital muscles and splenius are a bit less hard to feel and the spasms are a bit smaller. That made me feel 80% better mentally and physical... I even went to rent a video game and actually have some fun playing it! without thinking about my neck and head! Thats kool!
I'm going to start physical therapy just jus in case it's a repetitive strain injury since i overused my laptop for 1 years while i was a student in another city... And someone sugested a girl doing therapeutic massages and they say its a miracle girl... Anyone ill try this out.. Also i took some benzos which helped a lot. I was able to focus on a movie a playing a video which was awesome!
I didn't want to get back on benzos but since i was very depressed lately and my neck was killing me totally and i was unable to to anything i decided to go for the benzos untill i can get my hand on some cymbalta to help with the depression.
I can't imagine what it will be like when my mom will die tho... maybe it will be a releive/release or maybe it will be a nightmare.. i dont know but i will make sure to see a therapist and make things clear with my mom before she go. Since i don't wanna suffer from repressed feelings anymore...
I went to the dentist yesterday and i got 3 repairs in upper front and i got a broken in half tooth repair which is awesome since now i can smile a bit more lol.
Anyway i'm happy to see my neck can be better sometime and it's not worse and worse rather its up and down as i can see now! That rules out several illness i had on my check list wihich is good for my anxiety!