All Journal Entries Journals

A bit of a dilemma

Jan 07, 2015 - 33 comments

Okay ladies I have a bit of a dilemma. I want to see what your thoughts are.

So I applied for a job at an insurance office a few weeks back. I got a response saying that they'd be interested in setting up a meeting to discuss what the job entails etc...

The person who manages the office and also the broker is male. And apparently pretty arrogant

He emails last night around 8 pm and asks if I can meet him today at 2 pm at a coffee shop! (I didn't get the email till this morning). I told him I couldn't do it on that short of notice because I would need notice to make sure my husband is off work so he can be with our 2 year old. I text DH and said he emailed me about meeting me at a coffee shop and I said that I couldn't because of short notice. He said the same thing I was thinking that it seems strange not meeting at the office.

So I emailed the guy back and asked if we could meet at the office next Wednesday. He said Wednesday is fine, but at the coffee shop please. NOT OFFICE! (And that's exactly how it was put. Not office in caps).

I feel really uncomfortable with this, and it's rather strange. Why doesn't he want the meeting at the office where I'm applying for the job? I'm not applying for a job at the coffee shop.

I text DH and let him know. We could really use the extra money, but something seems fishy to me.

Is it just me?

Comments
Post a Comment
2006473 tn?1422036901
by Mrs_teddy_bear, Jan 07, 2015
Well the coffee shop is a public place so that is good. I agree something sounds a little weird but if you are really worried take someone with you and have them sit in the shop somewhere else. That way you have a way out if things get weird but it also gives you a chance to find out more about the job. If all else fails go with your gut.

Avatar universal
by ribaby15, Jan 07, 2015
I agree with Mrs.
The coffee shop meeting is kind of odd...
But, if you need the money - I'd go and see what he has to say?
It's not like he's asking to meet you in a back alley or something, lol.
But yeah, It's a bit weird.

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 07, 2015
My gut is telling me something is off.

This was his response to my turning down the offer:

"No problem...You have to understand there are reasons why I don't want my current employees to see me interviewing."

Ummmm like what? Do your employees not know that you're hiring? And if that's the case, I don't want to work for a dishonest employer. I've been really fortunate with my previous employers in that area



Avatar universal
by MyMelBgirl, Jan 07, 2015
Maybe he's planning on letting someone there go?? It is strange that he didn't say why you can't go to the office. If it were me, I would go with my gut feeling.  Yes, you could use the money BUT it isn't worth it if your not comfortable there. I hope something better comes along for you soon.  

Avatar universal
by MyMelBgirl, Jan 07, 2015
Can you have someone call the office to ask if they are hiring? That way you at least know that part? Have whoever calls block the number he/she is calling from

Avatar universal
by ribaby15, Jan 07, 2015
I was the 'mistress' here at work for like 2weeks.
They wanted to train me at a different office, and then let the girl I replaced go so that I could just jump in her spot.
I never thought of that MyMelBgirl, but that could definitely be what he's planning.
Although it's a bit shady - he's got to take precautions I guess.
I never met the girl who I replaced, so that was a plus - but I still feel bad. and I'd have to run and hide whenever someone from this office came down to the other one where I was training, lol.
it's a different environment here though. haha. I told them the day they let her go (without knowing it) that I was sick of being 'the other woman' lol.

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 07, 2015
Hmmm that's a good idea Ellen. Might have to do that. And I know if I were to put myself in my husband's shoes, I wouldn't like the idea either.

Maybe that's what he's planning ribaby. If so, I don't want to be part of that. I would feel horrible

535822 tn?1443980380
by margypops, Jan 07, 2015
Hi Shannon I would go by my gut and if it seems strange leave it alone ...
It may be innocent but I agree with you something is off kilter.

Avatar universal
by ribaby15, Jan 07, 2015
yeah I wasn't too keen on the idea. but as a single mom, making an extra 3$-4$/hr and not doing oil changes anymore was worth it lol.
I use to work at jiffy lube for like 2 yrs before this.
love cars, hate working on them in the winter. ahah.

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 07, 2015
Thanks Margy. Maybe it was me just being weird or something, but they say always trust your gut. It never steers you wrong.

Ribaby I definitely agree on the money thing. It can make a huge difference

6990909 tn?1435279416
by jugglin, Jan 07, 2015
I think this sounds totally normal. If the other staff is unaware that he is hiring and potentially firing, he wouldn't interview at the office...especially if this is a small office  I've seen this happen many times.
I have a gf who started as a receptionist for an ins office years ago and they walked her thru getting all of her licensing after she proved to be a good worker.  She can work anywhere in her state now doing what she does, making good money.
I think I would meet with him just to see what he has to say...it's a public place...you can always turn him down.
Just my thoughts.
Good luck!

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Jan 07, 2015
I think this is fairly normal as well, a lot of places are looking to "replace" and employee, and in which case don't want to alert the person they're replacing. If that's the case, then don't feel awful, obviously there's a reason that this person is being replaced, they're not doing their job obviously. I would meet with him also, when he's saying "trust there's reasons we can't do this in the office", sounds like he's probably going to explain it to you in person. As long as it's a public meeting, go and see how it turns out, and if you feel uncomfortable after that, by all means turn it down!

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 07, 2015
Well apparently it isn't normal for me. I've only ever had interviews at the location of the job I was applying for. I just googled it, and it seems to be pretty common. Am I living under a rock? Is it more common practice in the States then in Canada?

I'll see about discussing it with DH when he gets home from work tonight. I can tell that he's not comfortable with it, so I'm not going to push the issue.

296076 tn?1371338074
by melimeli, Jan 07, 2015
Maybe it is a small office and he is going to fire the current employee once he finds a replacement and doesn't want her to find out

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 07, 2015
The office itself I would say is a small office.

But the company itself is not

4769306 tn?1568493809
by KeeLolo, Jan 07, 2015
I definitely agree with Ellen and like u said something is absolutely OFF!!!! That's is not any way to conduct business or an interview!!! Anything that u can talk about in a coffee shop can and should be talked about in an office in his building....

Even if he is going to fire someone they don't know who you are or your reason for being there so to me that's not a good enough excuse to meet else where. It would be different maybe just maybe if office was under renovation. Also like u said think about hubby because I know mine defenitly would not go for it and I too would have a raised brow if he told he was meeting somewhere other than a business setting for a job interview!!!

I hope that something else does come around. I know what u mean about you all could use the extra money but you don't want something like this to cause problems in your marriage. Although it sounds like you and your hubby have a good relationship because u told him right away. But if you did get the job and the way it was conducted looked suspect you don't want hubby wondering/worrying about anything every day you walk out the door to go to work.

So absolutely trust your instincts 100%,
Good luck
Kee

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Jan 07, 2015
It's pretty common where I live in NY, and I live in a tiny town, so usually I'm the one under the rock, lol!! I'm all for trusting instincts so if you really feel like something is off, trust it, but it doesn't sound crazy weird to me!

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Jan 07, 2015
I should also add, I'm going purely off if it's weird to meet in a coffee shop vs. an office setting, as far as a dishonest employer, one that sounds like he's replacing the employee with you, and arrogant, that feeling sounds spot on, he doesn't sound like the most pleasant person to work with. I've agreed to try out a sales job for at&t at a small business in our town, my boss was everything that your new boss (maybe) to be was, and it was miserable, I came home EVERY day crying and I ended up quitting, I couldn't handle it, she was the worst person I've ever worked for, and then 3 people after me did the same exact thing, quit after a few months because she was terrible.

5575813 tn?1452484685
by Hollus, Jan 07, 2015
I just learned that caffeine makes people more easy to persuade and has been scientifically proven. So, if you go, don't drink any coffee but ultimately, it does seem fishy; go with your intuition!!

6990909 tn?1435279416
by jugglin, Jan 07, 2015
Shannon -
If you are uncomfortable, then don't go.  Even in corporate America, when an employee has an inkling they are going to be let go, they can try to sabotage. Thus the secrecy. When an unknown person meets with the boss, all speculations start to fly.  This is why I do not see it as unusual.  I used every opportunity like this to work on my interview skills.

However, again, if you are getting really bad vibes about the guy then certainly don't meet him.  Just know there are crappy bosses everywhere, but there are also bosses that come across crappy because they don't have the right person for the job.

Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one.
Love you girl!

4261944 tn?1530523938
by laureninlove, Jan 07, 2015
The person you'd perhaps replace is maybe a complete disaster area though!! We have had a few useless idiots at my job I wouldn't blame my store manager if he has been interviewing and would totally make sense if he's worried such a person would kick off. Small environments are always difficult because everyone has each others backs or either they don't....good fun! Lol. Good luck finding a job though, something else will come up :)

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 07, 2015
I have mixed feelings about it now getting opinions from you ladies. Thank you all for your input btw.

Part of me is thinking maybe I should go and see what it's about. But there's still a part of me thinking it seems fishy. I've heard that he's very arrogant (which I dislike very much). And he looks very smarmy. I can't even find 1 review on him. Good or bad. So not sure what to think of that. DH's response to me when I told him about it and saying I wasn't going was thank you. So I already know he's not keen on the idea of me going. And there's no way I'm going to rock the boat in my marriage. I already have enough jealousy issues to deal with. I don't need more.

I think I'm going to leave it and wait for something else to come along. I'm looking at this like it's not meant to be.

Sure the money would be nice, but some things are more important. Like trying to keep a peaceful marriage.

I'll let you know if I decide to talk to hubby about it this evening

4769306 tn?1568493809
by KeeLolo, Jan 07, 2015
I think that's a wise decision Shannon....  And maybe I'm the one under the rock, LOL...So at the end of the day if you are the praying type I say talk to DH and then pray about it. I'm hoping something else comes your way soon!!!

I like the second to last statement you made!!

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Jan 07, 2015
Definitely more important to keep a peaceful marriage than money, can't take it with you when you go, lol! My parents always told me if money problems are the worst you have, then you're not doing so bad, so I try to remember that when we get in a pinch! I hope something comes along soon!

1571146 tn?1399913292
by Moma_Cher, Jan 07, 2015
Apparently I'm late to the party... problem solved! Glad you worked through it ;-)

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 08, 2015
Thanks Kee! Seems like I'm under a rock too!  Something else will come along

K- What your mom said really made me think. She is so right!! I'm going yo be keeping that in the back of my mind.

Thanks cher!

Well ladies, I'm pretty convinced I made the right decision. I talked to DH about it last night. He was thinking the same thing I was. If he's looking to fire someone out from under their nose...he's like that with current employees, how will he be with future employees? Is he gonna do the same thing to me?

And my gut instinct was spot on. My DH knows a couple that are familiar with him. The wife has a friend that had an interview with him a few years ago. He's the type of employee that ONLY hires females, and they should look a certain way too. I hate employers like that. I don't use the word hate very often, but that is one tims that I will.

So that was a bust, but it wasn't meant to be. I'm just gonna keep my chin up and keep looking. Thank you all for your input on this. You girls rock!

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 08, 2015
Wow sorry for the spelling mistakes! Still getting used to this tablet

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Jan 08, 2015
Ugh, what a puke to be hiring women because of the way they look! Definitely trust people that know him, I didn't trust the few people that told me how terrible my boss was until I experienced it for myself, lol, wish I had listened!!

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 08, 2015
The word that comes to mind for people like him is "*********".

I'm definitely trusting the opinions of others that have had first hand experience with him

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 08, 2015
Haha that was supposed to be douche bag

Avatar universal
by ribaby15, Jan 08, 2015
hahahaha. I read that and im like ugh. now I have to try to attempt what all those asterisk mean?!

2006473 tn?1422036901
by Mrs_teddy_bear, Jan 08, 2015
Glad to hear you dodge that bullet. I know a couple who own tanning salons and my mom watches their kids. The husband made a comment one day basically saying that my mom, my sister and I weren't the kind of women he would want working in his shop. They only hire "pretty people" and we are overweight. I laugh because their "pretty people" have been some of the dumbest people and even thieves. Just because some looks pretty doesn't mean that they are a good person. To be clear I hold nothing against hiring pretty people as long as they have brains to go with it.

1580318 tn?1550258081
by Shannon79, Jan 08, 2015
Lol ribaby. I didn't think douche bag was a curse word

Mrs - Ugh! I hate shallow people like that. Makes me wonder what they're trying to compensate for. Oh absolutely on the beauty part. But brains are more important. Those "pretty people" are the ones that think they can get by in life on their looks. Beauty isn't permanent, and it's only skin deep

Post a Comment