Oct 28, 2009
I'm not entirely sure what this journal is going to be about. I've just been thinking a lot lately. It kind of struck me...
Last night my friend, Tom, asked me what I was thinking about. I had this vast list of various little ponderings. I have an extremely hypersensitive memory and I never forget anything. So when I think of something, it's thrown into my little thinking vault inside my brain. So... my list was relatively long. He said, "You know, you don't think about yourself. You worry about everything and everyone, but yourself."
I started thinking about it and he was right. I've never really put myself before others. It has never actually seemed... right. You'll come to realize that I think too much, and I take things far too deep, but oh well. I'm an overly processed thinker.
I've always been sort of lost when it came to myself. I've been afraid of my own thoughts, my perspective. I don't know how to help myself. I don't like helping myself. I guess that makes me sadistic. In my own mind, whatever I go through gives me some connection. A connection to a person, a topic, anything. It gives me knowledge.
With that, I have an odd way of connecting with people. Everyone I've ever met has told me how comfortable I am to be around. How easy I am to talk to, etc.
You know what, I don't know where I'm going with this. See, doubting myself again? haha.
Well, if I feel like it I'll pick back up on this. Feel free to comment, nag, gripe, whatever floats your boat.