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Surrounded by miserable people!

Jan 18, 2015 - 5 comments

I'm so sick of being surrounded by miserable people, it's making ME miserable! DH is so damn irritable and hit or miss, so nice one minute, the next minute barely saying two words to me for a whole day. He says its because he's got stuff on his mind, finishing his Harley project and stuff. Then he's fine and being really nice and then back at it, mood swinging like insane! It drives me nuts! Then my sister in law (DH's sister) will try to talk to me, we'll be talking along and you say one thing to her and shes a miserable b*tch, excuse my language. It's like walking on eggshells all the time to try not to set the damn bombs off or they're just mean. Example, at thanksgiving dinner, we went to my sister in law's house, the whole family was there, but there were only 4 little kids total, Dameon and Chloe, and my sister in law's daughter, and their cousin's daughter, Madison, so Dameon was the only boy. They have a play room off of the living room that the kids were playing in, and it had a tent in it. The two girls were in the tent and Dameon would unzip the tent and pop his head in and scare them. Well after like the first hour, the two girls (Madison and SIL's daughter), started hitting Dameon, every time he'd open the tent they'd take a fake tea cup and crack him on the head with it. I didn't see it the first two times, but he would come out blatting, so I'd go in, make sure they were being nice, and go back to the living room. Well the 3rd time he comes out blatting I'm getting pissed, I go in and catch one of the girls about to hit him with the tea cup. I take him by the hand and walk out to the adults and Dameon is still crying and I say loudly "If they're being mean to you, stay out here bud", my MIL says what are they doing? I said "Hitting him with the tea cups" And my MIL yells at the girls "You BETTER not be hitting him", my SIL chimes in with her snarky tone"Ohh they're just playing, legs are swinging and he just keeps getting in the middle of it, they're perfect angels" and rolls her eyes, (her daughter is known for being mean when she thinks she can get away with it, so she knows her daughter is doing something, but not correcting her at all) at this point I'm ready to flip, so we get ready and leave. But it's this kind of attitude from BOTH of them, the condescending, passive aggressive attitude every single time I talk to either one. I can't be around such miserable people. It's making ME miserable, making me irritable with the kids and I don't know what to do about it! Any suggestions?! :(

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790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jan 18, 2015
Oh mercy that's a tough one.  I can't believe she doesn't do anything about it other than make a snarky remark.  I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.  I personally would've flipped on her.  Sorry I have 5 redheaded aunts and it's in the blood lol.  I have been banned from our local elementary school because of how they were treating my sister when she was in 1st grade there. Now I'm NOT the type that "oh it's them and not her" NO it WAS them.  Anyways getting off subject.  I'm assuming you've already tried to sit down and talk with her about this?  I mean that's your child, he's just playing and they're being mean.  Uncalled for!!  IF you have talked to her, the next time it happens I'd probably go off and never go back.  It's not fair for your child to be left out because he was wanting to play and being nice about it and hers was being a brat on top of her not taking it seriously. You don't deserve that and Dameon don't deserve that.

Now the hubby issue is a little more difficult lol.  Men are SO touchy.  They say we're emotional and blah blah blah but ugh, Brian can be that way at times.  I just tell him..."Tell me what's going on, get it out in the open because you're worried/thinking about it and I can't help without knowing what's going on.  It's not doing either of us any good!".   I hate when we have no control over things. I want to "fix" it all.  Having so many stressful things going on at once is the worst and it never fails. It all happens at the same time.    I really hope both of these get better, especially the hubby issue.  At least you don't have to live with the SIL.  

Hope this helps and don't make me sound like some kinda psycho outta control weirdo lady. Lol.  

2020005 tn?1476658962
by KTowne, Jan 18, 2015
Lol I wanted to go off, trust me! I've avoided going off for a verrry long time, I've only had to do it twice on her. Its not just us that have tried talking to her about her mean daughter (who is almost 4, she knows better),  the school has, other friends have commented on it, apparently they think its funny. Dameon was playing with a frisbee last summer and he would toss it and every time he did her daughter would run and grab it and take off, they just thought it was funny. If that was me I would be making my child stop and give it back. We avoid going there for months and they will just pop in here uninvited. Ugh. I can handle dh's mood swings most of the time, just I've been getting so miserable about them, hopefully if I stop talking to my sil for a while and dh says he will work on it, I can come out of this miserable funk! Thank you Des!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Jan 18, 2015
She's going to really regret letting her just do as she pleases when she gets older.  I saw a thing of facebook about making your children mind because society has to deal with them when they're older.  It's true!  She's not helping her grow into a responsible adult.  I hope she notices what she's doing and soon for the sake of the little girl.  Sure they do cute and funny things, but this isn't either one.

I agree, I would distance myself from the SIL and maybe the hubs can come outta that funk which will help you with your funk. :)  

2020005 tn?1476658962
by KTowne, Jan 18, 2015
I hope so Des! She's definitely on a bad, bratty path right now.

952542 tn?1456763561
by Gardezi, Jan 19, 2015
honey u have to ignore these tantrums otherwise u will lose ur mind...esp ur sister in laws's....u don't have to put up with her AT ALL....when she is doing it pretend u r super busy or something and get off the phone...she will understand eventually...obviously its a bit different with ur DH...try talking and making him feel better if u can but if he's staying same...just remove urself from the situation...let him know u can't b around him when he is like that and if he cannot actually do something about the situation then everybody in the family will suffer...and just taking stress won't help...ur SIL's parenting skills are quite questionable but u have to protect ur child because its ur responsibility...just try talking him about how to deal with those situations when she is being mean...like may b not talking to them or playing with them and just staying/playing close to u  when she is around. i really hope u u'll work this thing out...i can imagine how frustrating it must b for u and ur little one to deal with all this.....Try to ignore and let them b when possible:)

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