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I lost my dog

Feb 02, 2015 - 6 comments
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my dog



I am not sure really what I hope to accomplish by writing this but I had to put my dog to sleep Friday. The grief is totally overwhelming I loved her so much. I have been sober a very long time but this grief is taking me to my knees. She was only 6 I wasn't prepared for her to go. In 2 weeks time she went from a healthy dog to being blind and eaten up with disease, I cant seem to stop crying I keep looking for her.

   My family is moving on, I am stuck in grief and despair, she was my everything, I dressed her dog dresses, dear God she was loved. I found myself on the floor in a ball today in despair, how can a dog make me so desperate. Nobody understands the despair I feel, she was beautiful, a Pomeranian, eyes so bright up until the last 2 weeks. I held her face until the end our noses together, I feel so sad, I miss her so much

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6669309 tn?1462648142
by breezytoo, Feb 02, 2015
I can feel your pain in losing your best friend (animal) the grief is almost unimaginable. They ask for so little and give us so much don't they? It makes it extra hard when you weren't prepared for it, she didn't linger for months like some do. Perhaps you can feel some comfort in knowing that your baby didn't have to suffer a long time. I am sure she was at peace in her heart when she passed because she had you there and believe me that is all that is important to them. You held her and made sure that she felt loved when her time came. If you are not familiar with the "Rainbow Bridge"  I hope that you will google it and read it very carefully. If you also google pet loss you can find some really nice memorial pages where people just like you can support each other through the pain and loss. I can promise you only that the pain you are feeling now will diminish a little with time, from sharp to dull I imagine would be a good way to describe it. You gave her the best possible life on earth and you gave her all of your love, please find some comfort in that. I too adopted a precious chiahuahua/pug mix that has all of my heart! I think I will be leaving this earth before he will, but you just never know. I would feel like someone pulled my heart out if I lost my Rusty Boy. They are family members only they don't disappoint us or talk back. Please accept my condolences for your baby. R.I.P. special little one, I am sure she is your guardian angel now. God Bless & comfort you now in your loss. :( Try to remember the happier times, it does help to look at your pictures too. Take care.

Avatar universal
by waterview4326, Feb 02, 2015
Breezytoo thank you for your comforting words. My Soffie was so special she did not suffer long but it caught me off guard. She seemed healthy and then so fast she lost her sight and was ravaged with disease. She asked for nothing in life but to be loved and she was, just like your Rusty Boy. I do feel my heart has been pulled out I truly do and thank you for responding, I feel desperate in my grief. I have been sober a long time now but today I felt like using, I wont but as an addict my grief of course overwhelms me. I read the rainbow bridge and I just cried, I have cried more since Friday than I can ever remember. No more pitter patter of her tiny feet running down the stairs as I open the frig. No more of her precious face against mine on the pillow, I truly with all my heart adored her.

    Thank You for reaching out my family I know understands but they are coping so different than me. I am a stay at home mom and she was my constant companion, I miss her, your words helped me tonight so much,  I cant say thank you enough all my addict personality I feel coming through even with long term sobriety but I loved her and I was sober with her and I will never forget her. I pray the grief does subside I feel desperate but truly you were heaven sent tonight. Thank you

1742220 tn?1331356727
by meegWpaw, Feb 02, 2015
oh wv i feel so bad for you.  im sorry i did not see this before i sent you the note.  i have just recently started to learn more about dogs and i sure do love some of them so i can understand.  i love you and i am so sorry you are hurting.  pm me anytime.  i hope you feel better soon.

Meegy

6669309 tn?1462648142
by breezytoo, Feb 02, 2015
Sweetie Whenever you need a shoulder to cry on and with, I am here. I really mean that, my heart truly hurts for you right now. I KNOW how much we need and love them and I know you would gladly trade places with her right now so she could live. Honey she will be there waiting for you when its your time, you will see her again!! Try to rest tonight and R.I.P. precious little one. She is with you mama, she really is. xoxo

Avatar universal
by waterview4326, Feb 03, 2015
Thank you both from the bottom of my heart. I woke up today and still feel the horrible desperation without her. No baby to cuddle, no baby to give her a treat, I still ache inside. Im forcing myself downstairs to make some tea and toast, she sat beside me everyday for our morning ritual. I'm so grateful you both responded to me, I feel so desperately sad. I turned on my computer screen and there she was a big picture of her in her pink dress, she was so beautiful.  I cant believe how much of a tigger this is to use but I have been sober so long but honestly FEELING this pain is so hard. My neighbors across the street just got a new dog Saturday its hard to watch them walk her, I hate to say this I feel angry inside. So here I go to begin my fourth day without my baby, the house is so unbelievably quiet, I hate it, my family is just moving on, I grieve for her, its like a part of me is gone. Thank you both, the addict inside is peering out to numb the pain, however I cut my sourses a long time ago, nevertheless my addict brain is screaming out, numb me. I loved her so

1742220 tn?1331356727
by meegWpaw, Feb 03, 2015
well im sure glad you cut your sources but beee careful miss view!   DONT USE NO MATTER WHAT    OK????  pm me if you need to i really mean it huni.  losing a pet is deep and profound and i am so sorry, again.  you know i have been through a lot and i have not always been able to stay clean, dear, but i SURE am glad when I have!!!! it has ALWAYS been better to deal with it clean.  yes it is terribly hard.  love you lots!!!  be good!  be well sweetheart.

love,

Meegy

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