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Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room Part 21

Nov 11, 2009 - 219 comments
Tags:

tramadol

,

ultram

,

Healing

,

withdrawal



Hi Everyone,

Welcome brave Tramadol Warriors ...

Come on in and make yourself comfy ... there's room for all!

Love and healing,
Emily

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Avatar universal
by nancy652, Nov 11, 2009
wow, I've missed a whole page and a half of posts. I'm still here, T free since late July or so. How great everyone is till around, and welcome to all the new people.

I have been setting up an office for the first time in several years. I have always worked at home since I had my children. Getting off the T has inspired me tremendously.

I have been assembling an online library for us on the Tram material madtram has given me and my own legal research. It will be easier than emailing it to anyone who wants it.

So, I'm still here for you setting things up. I'll be back next week with greetings from my new office.

Love,
N

1103290 tn?1261754965
by gerty411411, Nov 11, 2009
Today was alot better than yesterday.  Energy was better and I even was able to walk the dogs.
Last night I sat down with my 2 kids and husband and watched "nothing but trouble".  I can't remember appreciating the humor of a movie in such a long time. I also haven't spent time like that with my family in a long time either.  I  know the tram kept me just flitting around and not able to ever stop and enjoy the moment.  

For me the worse time of the day is morning.  It takes me till 2pm to feel that I'm going to make it.  For the last two days I've had to duck in the ladies room for a cry related to sad things such as patients with cancer or a sad song/thought,  The tears actually feel as though they are cleansing my soul and releasing toxins.  I haven't cried in a long long time.
Just talking about it makes me want to cry.  

Tomorrow I meet with the psychiatrist.  I'm  also really considering joining aa/na.  You all are right we would all be at the meeting for the same purpose.  Guess my pride and concerns about what "other people would think" need to  take a backseat to getting sane and sober.

Good thoughts to all of you.  And, again, thanks for all the good vibes and support.

Love,  Gerty

1059641 tn?1277525976
by forget_me_not, Nov 11, 2009
mornings were always tough for me too, Gerty.  But hang in there because it really does get so much better!

folks, today I slammed my hand in a sliding glass patio door and cracked a bone.  Yikes.  I'm ok, but prayers will be appreciated.  So far i have iced it and taken two ibuprofen liqui-gels and i am hanging in there.  

hope everyone is doing ok.  fighters, we are.  all of us.

blessings,
~fmn

599071 tn?1300072302
by madtram, Nov 11, 2009
Ouch, FMN, sending you some healing energy.  As it happens, I slammed the very heavy metal lid of the communal garbage disposal on my knuckles yesterday & thought I may have broken something but the swelling has gone down quite a bit already so I think I was lucky.  

Gerty, my mornings were a total dead zone for a long long time.  I used to  need to take my daily dose of tramadol first thing before I could get moving & without the tramadol, I still need a good cup of coffee to get my lazy a self to do anything more than read.

Booba, levaquin is a heavy duty antibiotic which has been associated with tendon damage, have you been on it for long?  There do not appear to be any contra-indications for levaquin & 5htp though.

Best to all & extra hugs for you FMN.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 11, 2009
Was it the hand you always use or can you let it be bandaged and still function.Your typing is better with one hand than mine is with 2 FMN.Hope it heals soon.Today I conquered a self serve gaspump and for the first time in my life was able to pump my own gas.I just hate those things and always go to full serve.I always do something wrong or spill gas on myself or it is too cold or rainy or whatever.Today I did it all by myself.....joined the 21 century.

1059641 tn?1277525976
by forget_me_not, Nov 11, 2009
madtram and pharma, thank you so much!  i'm a lefty and i smashed my right hand, so i should be ok.  i am not good at being injured.  i always have a tough time accepting my limitations in ways like that!

my father's first words when i told him were, "did they give you anything for pain?  they should give you some pain pills!"  oh, boy.  i can't fault him, though - he doesn't know and only wants me to be well and not have pain.

interestingly, this is one of those times when i would normally have relied on tramadol.  after the accident i started to shake uncontrollably and feel very sick, but i just calmly got some ice and sat down until i was able to move around.  my pain tolerance has increased by leaps and bounds, and i do mean that.  it's amazing, actually.  i am ok.  tramadol really messes with our perceptions of pain when we are in its grip.  without it, everything is so much easier.

i say that even as a i type with one hand!

thanks, again.  blessings to all my fellow warriors this night.

~fmn

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 11, 2009
Glad you are ok FMN we love your beautiful posts and look forward to more words of wisdom from you.I know about the pain thing because I woke up with a sore hip and usually would have taken extra T3,but today because of my new clean attitude I just took my usual ibuprofen and tylenol extra strength and everything was ok,even at work .Pain is so much less without those narcs.

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 11, 2009
Evening everyone. ~Fmn, sorry to hear about your hand. I hope it heals quickly and doesn't cause you too much pain.

Booba, Hang in there Hun..I hope you and your little one get well soon.

I haven't read everyone's posts but I will...I am suffering something fierce with PMS..PMDD..the CURSE, whatever you wanna call it. LOL..I haven't even been on the computer. I have literally been laying on my couch on a heating pad with a Lidocaine patch on my tummy at all times. It is like this for me every month...even when I was popping the demon pill. I can tell once I pass this little bump in the road I will feel much better. I am coping better this month than I have in a long time. ..WITHOUT TRAMS!!!! That says alot. I am feeling really weak and lethargic, though. 2 months ago my hemoglobin was only a 7.2 and I have yet to get my iron pills filled. When I take them I get constipated more than normal, but I think it is time I start taking them anyway. I am so stubborn. I never forgot to take the trams, though...Only the things that actually helped me. Go figure!!!!!

Well, I hope everyone is doing well...I have used up all my energy so I am going to lay down. Hang in there everyone and stay strong.

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 12, 2009
booba - you stated your daughter had sine flu, I rally hope that is not the case - a friend turned me onto a web site go to fooage and search for PUBLIC CITIZEN  there is an article about drugs that may be givdn and it is inmportant that under 5 yrs of age do NOT take that drug - read more here  

http://www.worstpills.org/includes/page.cfm?op_id=463

best wishes

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 12, 2009
Booba SO sorry about my typos   I meant  GO to google and search   duh  I'll turn up the lamps

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 12, 2009
for-get-me not   ouch I am so sorry that happened - GREAT to hear you are handling the pain

I went to this website

http://www.citizen.org

to search for their reports on tramadol - It is, I think, a good site for unbiased research, they take NO advertising so they can be objective -  I got to a page where i have to join/donate and I will do that when i have more time at weekend

Best wishes everyone - congrats pharam9 on getting your own gas - -LOL - it really is the LITTLE victories that make us smile inside

Best wishes to everyone, I worked ALL day at my part time job (barista in cafe) and my energy and attitude held all day

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 12, 2009
One report on that site suggested that OTC pain helpers are really the best way to go in the long run, they've been around a long time and we 'know' them.  Just DO NOT take higher than rec. dosages

BE WELL              BE HAPPY                 BE KIND TO YOURSELF

Avatar universal
by newway, Nov 12, 2009
Looks like the taper is catching up to me - like many of you my energy is horrible in the morning.  Still nothing compared to ct but I feel like I have the flu - a mild case.  The RLS drives me crazy - except for me it is all over - I can't stay still, when a surge hits it is like I am running around the house on fire.
I have gotten down to 350 mg - I think it may be time for me to just jump.  I am going to see if I can get work organized enough, and then claim H1N1.  No one will be any the wiser - and I may get some sympathy from it.
I am not going to worry about the benzo's and will use them to sleep, and stock up on the imodium etc.  
My biggest fear is still the depression - but whether I continue to taper - or get it over with now - the results will be the same - if the depression is there I will have to deal with it.  Like I said earlier - for about a year or so - on my highest dose of tram - I basically felt like I had Chronic Fatigue - so how much worse can this be?
I will keep you posted.
Those that have fought this before me - it's your posts that make me think there is life after tram.  I do not know how many dark days I have spent thinking there was no way for this to get better.
Keep fighting

Avatar universal
by FinallyFred, Nov 12, 2009
Hello Warriors, As John Sabastion once sang, I was wondering "where have you been my darling children, while I have been away..."   I found you all again.  And what an inspiring, committed group of tram fighters you all have become!  

Inspiring, Notsosuny and Booba, you have made it over the hump.   As we begin our journey, I am not sure that anyone else would bet two cents on our chances to fight through acute withdrawal.  But EACH of you has done it.   Congratulations and HUGS all around.  

WAHOO!!!   Yippee!

Gerty, I like your signon name, Gerty 411411.  Cool.   I apoligize for missing your fight this past week, but from what you describe, you must be at about day 5-8?   It's just crazy how all of those bottled up emotions begin to flow again.   Somewhere in my journal at about day five or eight, I recall talking about attending a wedding for my nephew.  It was JUST a wedding for goodness sakes and in hindsight, it probably wasn't all that special.  But I was bawling like a baby throughout the wedding and I  continued crying during the reception.  In the chow line, I found myself behind the reverend and I even asked him for his sermon notes (he obliged),  My adult sons were there and they kept walking up to me and saying, "are you alright dad?"  
dad, get a grip!"

Its frightening honestly, to consider where all those natural emotions GO when we are on the tram train.   Thankfully after some days of crying jags, crazy *** sneezing and uncontrollable laughter, ETC., NORMAL can and does return in time.  

Dear Newway, congratulations on coming down to 350 mg/day!   I think that I know where you began that you have done exceedingly well.   You are now within the "safe recommended limits" established by the medical community of of 400 mg/day!    I honestly don't know how you do it without borrowing tomorrow's pills today, but KUDOS to you on your successful journey.  

Over time, we all come to understand that THIS DRUG CAUSES PAIN.   Chronic Fatigue is an excellent description of howe we feel over time on this drug.  I honestly felt that I had "contracted" fibromyalgia (FM) or that I was generally falling apart in pain so much of the time.  

How is it that a drug prescribed as a safe, non-habit forming, analgesic could cause so much trouble.  Humpfth.  We know the truth though, huh?

What I came to understand during the six years that I took this drug was that as my TOLERANCE to this drug increased, such that as long as I intended to remain at "my prescribed dose" and my body was demanding more and more of the drug, I was actually in a nearly constant state of withdrawal.  

I totally understand why people order higher quanties online.  I simply wasn't aware that that was an option.   So at every "rx day" circled on my calender, I would plan my day so that I could promptly pick up my tramadol order as soon as it was available.   My life revolved around this drug.  I pestered the poor pharmacist hourly and became irate if my dear doctor decided to take a day of vacation when it was time to refill my drug.  I slowly became a SLAVE to this drug that took more and more of me and gave me less and less in return.  

And I found it quite reasonable to take more of the drug on "rx day" and the days following, every day, borrowing from the pills I would dearlly need to make it through to my next rx day.   I never did feel well while taking this drug.  I felt pains in places I didn't even know existed before tramadol.  And the best I could hope for was to simply feel LESS UNWELL for a few days every rx cycle.  So yeah, newway, I can relate to feeling like you are suffered from chronic fatigue.  You have done well to make it to 350/day...seriously!  

When I arrived here a little under a year ago I was amazed and yet comforted to see others suffering from what I came to understand was either an "addiction" or "dependance" on this tram-o-****.  Bodies scream for MORE.   We give less than the demand.  We suffer any way you look at it.

I have witnessed people getting off this drug for many really good reasons.   My reason was probably selfish.  I simply could no longer ride on the constant tram-o-train month after month.  I could no longer place my life at the disposal of this controlling drug.  I came to the point where I could no longer plan vacations around my rx day.   And heavens knows I tried.   I would get my calender, calculator and marker pen out each new year and actually plan vacations nine months out - around my tramadol supply.   And to think that I seriously did not know I had a problem?

I understood the pain that complete withdrawal from this drug might hold.   I had suffered partial withdrawal month after month for years.     I had run out of pills before.  Often.  So my decison to quit entirely was more of a self preservation action plan.  I saw that others had strung together 5-6 days without putting the lovely little white pill in their mouths and I wanted what they had.   And I figured out that if I could just do what others had done, tiny moment by tiny moment, I would never need to suffer as I had suffered month after month EVER AGAIN.

I guess it took what it took to bring me to that moment of clarity.   To the point where I could look at my bottle of pills and gather the strength of the universe to tell those pills that I had decided to part company.  

Tramadol won't leave without a fight.  Each person must decide whether that one wishes to suffer through "partial withdrawal" day after day, week after week with a slow taper, or whether such person wants to buckle up for the worst ride of their lives for 5-6 days and be finally free.  

And I do understand the desire to make this journey as EASY as possible.  I surely took my share of products recommended in the Thomas Recipe.   But as I faced my demon, I was not expecting an easy gentle ride.  I prepared for the worst and was simply determined to get this drug OUT of my system ASAP.  I could no longer deal with the ups and down of being on this horrible drug, T.  I wasn't particularly strong.   I simply had eough of being controled by this drug.

But that's just my story.  Everyone must choose their own way.  

May the peace thata passes all understanding enlighten each one's path.  As we each stumble down the pilgram road to recovery from a drug that exacted FAR too high a cost for far too long.

Courage, Strength and Love,

fred




334144 tn?1423248271
by booba77, Nov 12, 2009
The doc gave her tamiflu suspension, but they were out of it so the pharmacist made it for her out of crushed pills.  I am on the levaquin.The only thing the doc gave her is the tamiflu, but they didnt swab her nose cuz she is so young and theey have to go up really far in her nostril.  she sounds horrible, more like bronchitis than anything.   i sound thr same.  Hey 2 weeks for me today CT.   yaaaaayyyyyy.    so tired of being sick.  All of these co~pays and meds and lack of work are killing me financially.  Luckily she and I have insurance.  Her daddy is the one that needs insurance cuz hw ia in need of a $700,000 heart surgery.  it has been a long NOvember.

334144 tn?1423248271
by booba77, Nov 12, 2009
Sorry about my horrid typing.  I am posting on the phone as usual. and exhausted.  the insomnia really grabbed hold despite my melatonin.  have a good day warriors.  i wish it would stop raining.

Avatar universal
by hanginin, Nov 12, 2009
Good morning. I hope everyone is doing well.  I am finally over my cold or whatever I had and at day 21 today I am looking forward to being off and getting some exercise. I want everyone who is thinking of going CT or struggling after just a few days to keep on. Going CT is hard for several days but it will get a little better every day. I no longer have any cravings and I have slept good for the last 3 nights. I know there are still obstacles but I love being alive again and not under the tram spell. We can do this and we must do this for ourselves and our family. Keep fighting and no matter how bad it seems there is hope at the end of the tunnel
Hanginin

1090333 tn?1264512093
by GreatWhite, Nov 12, 2009
Booba Immodium saved my life! It was the only thing that stopped me from pooping 50x a day. Today is 10 days tram free for me! and every single day i am feeling better and better. Feel like I have more energy today than yesterday, eventhough i wake up and reach for pills, this time it is for my vitamin and B12. I havent even taken tylenol the last few days. Just dont need it. Had my first meeting with my therapist last night and i didnt cry. i thought i was gonna cry the entire time. I was very nervousssss though. I had the first great sleep last night that I have had since coming off trams. I even wanted to stay in bed this morning and keep sleeping but had to get up for work. Usually i am so tired from tossing and turning all night i just want to get up.

The Restlessness does stop eventuallly for all of you experiencing it. For me its stopped around day 7. Days 3-5 were the worst for me. But now i am on day 10! Double Digits! i cant believe it. Couldnt have done it without this website though. I am just ready to take control of my life, put my emotions in order, get better at my job, and not worry about my next fix. Although i def think about trams every single day, it is not as often and i dont need to carry pills around with me. Just immodium for the next couple days then i am stopping that too. I am almost Poop FREE!

Love you all, god bless, hang in there. If you decide to jump, we are all here for you.  I think we need to get a bunch of people together and start fighting to get this drug off the market!! It is wayyy to easy to order this drug online any kid with a debit card can order these pills and have them delivered next day through fedex!!! Its nuts! I wanna start gathering some research and putting some emails or letters together and start fighting to get this sh*t drug off the market for doctor's to keep on prescribing because obvi they do not know what they are prescribing!!!

Its a good day everyone! Thank the Lord for that! Its raining and cold but my music is blasting and my students will be here soon.. ohhh wait, hopefully it will be a good day hahah...peace and love
-chris

Avatar universal
by hanginin, Nov 12, 2009
Chris. You are doing great at 10 days and I totally agree with you that tramadol needs to be removed or at least made a controlled drug. It would be a great legacy for this group of warriors if we could make a difference in getting tramadol removed from online pharmacies or withdrawn completely.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 12, 2009
Wow...10 days Great...wonderful news,Just think it will be Christmas soon and you are going to give the best present to your family...a clean life.By Christmas a lot of us will be completely free and ready to start the new year with renewed zest for life and all it has to offer.I cried happy tears when I read your post,because it sounded so positive.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 12, 2009
Booba..you are doing well.Levaquin and all quinolone antibiotics can cause panic attacks and nervous feelings and CNS stimulation.Just thought I'd let you know because some of your symptoms may be caused from the levaquin.This is a rare side effect,but has been reported and I had a customer who had severe panic attacks and feelings of doom taking cipro.Congrats on 2 weeks.Love yaz all...

1059641 tn?1277525976
by forget_me_not, Nov 12, 2009
greatwhite, you are amazing!  congratulations on hitting double digits and thank you for being here to inspire others who are considering the CT jump.  you are so right - it's tough for a few days (maybe a week) - but oh, how wonderful it is to come out the other side of that knowing the worst is done - forever!  to know we never, ever, ever have to experience that particular h*ll again.

the rls does tend to subside after the first three to 5 days...it may reappear from time to time, but it's BRIEF and temporary and pretty soon it leaves for good.  precious, precious healing...

booba, hang in there!  you are going to make it!

hanginin, three weeks!  celebrate!

so proud of all the warriors here.  wish i could give huge one-handed hugs to all of you winning this war one battle at a time.  by sharing your victories and trials, you are lighting the path for so many others preparing themselves to do battle, too.  

blessings to all of you,
~fmn

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 12, 2009
FMN...Ifeel the same way..just want to give everyone one big fat smooch and hug for all their accomplishments despite pain and agony and continuing on and not giving up to the devil drug.You are all wrestling the devil drug into submission and being victorious.Hugs and kisses to all of you.

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 12, 2009
Happy for everyone! I get overwhelmed wanting to reply to all posts, so I don't write LOL.  Perfectionist tendencies.  I'm feeling okay today.  Still a bit blah, but it doesn't help that it's been raining for days! I'm ready for the week to be over :).

Day 8 today.  Everyone is doing great!!

Jenny

446650 tn?1257614815
by me1414, Nov 12, 2009
Day 5!!!! I think, lol. I haven't been on for a couple of days but things are par for the course I guess. Had a pretty good day yesterday till time to pick up the kids. Had anxiety so bad all I could do was yell. My poor kids. The doc gave me some ativan but come on. How am I suposed to take care of the kids when I can barely stay awake when I take one. Dont like em. This has been the worst part for me. I am tired to the point of anxiety and yelling. Just dont know what else to try. My poor hubby has been taking the kids off my hands when he gets home from work and I just sit in the dark. I watch tv and try to work thru the anxiety. I'm learning to let some of the housework go. There is just too much to do to keep up right now. Glad you all are here. Any suggestions on the screamin mimis. I just hate being such a b****

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 12, 2009
I'm not an ativan expert, but is it possible to split the pill and take a smaller dose?

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 12, 2009
Oh, also, my doctor gave me clonidine, which lowers BP and helps anxiety.  It is used for opiate detox a lot.  It's not a benzo, but a BP med.  Could you ask about it?  I only take it at night, but it seems less strong than my klonopin.

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 12, 2009
Hi Everyone. I wish I could respond to everyone's posts but I would get brain freeze if I even tried. LOL...

Me1414, I soooooooo empathize with you regarding the anxiety and yelling. Today is the first day in many many days that I haven't been yelling at my kids nonstop. I have been a raging b*tch and I HATE IT. I wish I had more suggestions but the only thing I can suggest is do like me and count to 10, breath and think before you speak. I will walk out of the room and go be by myself for a few minutes. I have hurt my kids' feelings and I have been so nasty to my husband. Every little thing has been on my nerves. I mean EVERYTHING. I went off the chain Tuesday afternoon because there was a styrofoam cup on the floor beside the trashcan. I b*tched about it for a solid hour! I am on DAY 21 and it is beginning to seem better believe it or not. I am still having anxiety but not nearly as bad as last week and I am hopeful that it will continue to get better. The depression isn't constant at this point. It comes and goes and I am not worrying about every little thing like I was. My pain is manageable now with OTC pain meds...Tylenol and Aleve. Be thankful that the Ativan makes you drowsy..I think sleep is the key to feeling better. The days after I actually got a good nights sleep I didn't suffer as much as the days when I got little to no sleep. Hang in there. Even a bad day is better than a day spent on trams. :) The future is going to be so wonderful...I just keep that in mind.

To everyone else...Keep fighting and hang in there. I have been reading but not posting as I am still in the midst of the CURSE and still feeling a little yucky. I am keeping up with everyone, though and I am so proud of everyone. I really am! To everyone who is sick or has gotten injured please get well soon and please remain strong.

Much love to EVERYONE!!!!

~Sunny!!!!

446650 tn?1257614815
by me1414, Nov 12, 2009
My big b**** is just the constant fighting the boys do. I have a teenager who is never home and 3 little ones whose sole mission in life is to pester each other. It is normal but without the tram I can't stand even 5 minutes of it. I am going to my psyc doctor today. I will talk to him about switching. I did try halfing it but it just made me tired and still crazy. I do sleep at night with it tho. If I can get this under control I could handle the rest. My energy is coming back slowly so I have that to be thankful for. Thanks for the comisterating. It helps, really.

1059641 tn?1277525976
by forget_me_not, Nov 12, 2009
~Sunny!  I love it!

Jenny, the main thing to remember right now is that your mood swings are part of the healing process -- and that means swinging into some nasty anger sometimes!  it's tough, no doubt about it.  i am raising a three-year old, and there were times during the first couple of weeks when i had to just leave the room and cry i would get so angry. and it wasn't her fault.  she was just being a three-year old.  my emotions were just so raw, so overwhelming.

it will level out soon.  if you are feeling a lot of guilt over the anger, just being aware of that sometimes helps channel it down a notch or two.  don't feel guilty about feeling angry.  you feel what you feel.  the ten second pause before speaking can help, as can deep breathing and stretching.  anything to release the stress is helpful.

everyone just hang tough.  this too shall pass.  better days are on the way!

~fmn

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 12, 2009
I know what all you guys mean. My kids are all so happy and always so chilled out and it seems like over the past 21 days they have all started walking on eggshells around me. Isn't that awful. The guilt I feel about that is overwhelming. I know the older 2 know what I am going through but my little one has no idea. She just knows Mommy is mean...so she told me. LOL..I am better today. I haven't yelled once or even had to count to 10 and think about what I say. It has been a good day so far, but as we all know I suffer more in the evenings. I am going to give it my all to have a good night, too! Will check in later...gotta rinse the color out of my daughter's hair..She is going burgundy/black. Hope it looks good.

~Sunny

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 12, 2009
Day 4 on 100 mg.  Doing ok.  Still cold, hot, and have head funk now and then...but I'm ok.  That's all I can ask for.  Trying to take it easy on the sugar as it can be deadly with my plumbing (gastric bypass for those who don't know)  I've already had a few bouts of sick tummy from too many mini baby ruths etc.  I should know better.  Sometimes 2 is too many.

Question for Pharma....will my head explode if I have to use an Imitrex inhaler while on 5-htp?  I've had no migraines lately since reducing the Tram dose and going on birth control pills, but I'd like to start the 5-htp to help with sleep instead of using Trazadone.  I read with 5-htp you shouldn't use Imitrex etc.  Just in case the migraine monster stops by, I might need a sniff of Imitrex.  Also - is 100mg a reasonable dose?

Thanks to all the posters and I too wish I could respond to all.  Jenny....keep posting even if you're not mentioning names!

Fred:  thanks for checking in on us Tram soldiers.

-Lori

1103290 tn?1261754965
by gerty411411, Nov 12, 2009
Today I decreased my dose to 100mg.  I also had my first meeting with my psychologist.  I feel fairly comfortable and revel in my inner quietness.

This weekend will be quite a test for me as I am on call.  I'll need lots of good thoughts my way as it will be tough.  

Take care warriors.  

Love, Gerty

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 12, 2009
Lori..I would not recommend taking 5htp with imitrex.Imitrex is a serotonin like drug and together with 5htp may raise blood pressure and heart rate or in extreme cases serotonin syndrome.Perhaps you could use melatonin to help you sleep.There is nothing wrong with using trazadone because it is not a benzodiazepine .Also I would recommend a tapered withdrawal from trazadone if you want to stop it.Gerty...we will all channel all our good thoughts and wishes to you Be brave and determined and things will work out.

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 12, 2009
Thanks pharma - I'll hang in there with what I'm using. (the Traz) in case a big fat mean migraine comes knocking.    Like I said....they've been at bay so far since knocking down the Tram dose and popping BC pills.  I haven't even had an OTC pain reliever in nearly 2 weeks.  woohoo!

I think I might dose up the hubbo with 5htp - think it might take the edge off of his occasional blues while withdrawing plus help him sleep.  I assume 5htp and Traz together would be overkill?  One or the other right for sleeping?  The Mister doesn't use Imitrex so there's no issue there.  We are taking 50 mg of Traz a day now, would it make sense to go every other day with it to taper, or break the pills in half and do 25mg/per day?  The off days I could use melatonin and he could use 5htp if that works for him.  Yikes - I sound like a sleep druggie now!  Thanks for the advice.  I soon hope to be drug free when it comes to sleeping.  I feel like an old lady with all my pills and night sweats.  Never thought my forties would be so interesting.  Not.

Time to settle in for the night.  I hope everyone has a peaceful one tonight.

-Lori



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by GreatWhite, Nov 13, 2009
Goodmorning all.. Had a restless sleep again last night. Just wish I could get some damn sleep at night. Making me groggy and yawning all day, have to down red bull and coke in order to make it through the days. I want to give up soda completely cuz it is horrible for my teeth but right now i cant put it down while going through tired days. Not much of a coffee drinker not that that is any better. Anyways, hang in there fighters!!! I am day 11 now...cant wait to be on day 30 and not worry about sleeping anymore.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 13, 2009
Lori...There is always possibility of an interaction between 5htp and antidepressants and trazadone is included.Sometimes they can be combined in smaller doses and everyone's body chemistry is different.I would probably not comfortably recommend taking both ,but some people may have and been fine.I would probably taper by cutting in halfs,then quarters etc and taking trazadone every dayGood morning everyone and keep fighting.Off to work now.

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 13, 2009
Good Morning Everyone. I hope everyone is doing well this morning.

GreatWhite..Sleep will come for you soon. I am on day 22..I think..LOL..and I still have a hard time falling asleep some nights but when I get to sleep I am sleeping all through the night now. I am also not laying here as long trying to fall asleep. Sleep was never the MAJOR issue with me, but then again we are all different. My major issues were the rebound pain and then the anxiety/depression... I wish you well and CONGRATS on day 11!!! It will get better just hang in there. You are doing great!!!!!

I am off to have one more cup of coffee..wait for it to warm up a tad and go walking. I feel kinda stiff this morning so I am going to go for a walk...

Have a good day and everyone hang in there.....



Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 13, 2009
Thanks Pharma...I always appreciate your advice - I know we ALL do!  Soon you will have to start billing us.  :)

Great - join the club on having trouble with your teeth and soda - my dentist is nagging me and I can see what it's doing too.  Soon I might not have a tooth in my head!  OR - everything will need to be veneered at least.  But I'm taking it in baby steps.  I have to get off the Tram train before tackling my soda consumption.  I can't deal with caffeine withdrawal along with tram withdrawal.  I'm working on the bigger beast first.  Congrats on day 11.

My night was the same.  Hot.  I have a Dr appt next week and am going to ask if maybe I need a stronger BC pill due to my re-routed internal plumbing.  I have malabsorption issues since 5 feet of my intestine is bypassed, so maybe this pill I'm on isn't strong enough.  I can't believe these night sweats are all Tram related.  My husband is cool as a cucumber.

Have a good day everyone.  It's Friday.  the 13th......

-Lori

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by booba77, Nov 13, 2009
Hey guys.....day 15 for me.  Still tired but back at work.  Daddy is home with the flu and is taking our little one for a re~check.  I am so exhausted still, but i think it is from the depression and sinus infection. boy did the trams mask a lot of things wrong with my life.  I keep telling myself if i can just make it thru the winter, or just get my house in order, all will be well.  just down cuz of this cold november rain.  have a great day all.  keep plugging on.  i love you all.  thanks for listening.

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 13, 2009
Booba...Seems like the cold weather makes things worse for me, too. I am sorry to hear about Dad and your little one both having the flu. And sinus infections are miserable. I hope things get better soon. I also have become very aware of just how much the trams covered up in my life. I am finally learning to cope with feeling again. Still a little anxious but no so bad anymore. It will continue to get better for all of us.

I am off to have lunch with my little one. Seems like I plan my life around meals now..That is NOT a good thing. LOL...Everyone have a great day and Hang In there!!!

Avatar universal
by Hillbilly47, Nov 13, 2009
Wow.... day 15.  You're getting there!  Trust me, it does get better.  I'd have to say, though, that it doesn't always stay better.  All in all, better has to be enough for us, though, doesn't it?

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by Lillyval, Nov 13, 2009
Here's a story for everyone.  My husband is a firefighter/EMT.  Last night he went to a call for a man in his 70's who has a number of health problems.  As part of the routine they asked what meds he was on.  One of his drugs was tramadol.  He had been taking it at night and it was giving him an energy surge so he couldn't sleep and then he crashed hard during the day.  My husband mentionned some other side effects that he had learned about through our experience.  His wife said this was EXACTLY what her was experiencing.  She suspected it was the tramadol and had told his doctor.  The doctor dismissed her and told her that tramadol has NO SIDE EFFECTS.  Long story short she asked my husband if she should stop giving him the tram.  Of course, my he had to say that he can't give medical advice, but maybe to do some research on the internet.  But she doesn't have a computer and continues to rely on the doctor.  It's so sad.  After the call another firefighter on his crew said he had also had a bad experience with tramadol after a surgery. It's just so widespread and there's so much misinformation.  

Go Nancy with your new database.  It is literally the only one of it's kind with the real story.

I too, have been home all week with one, the other or both kids sick.  I've been mostly homebound which hasn't helped my low mood.  I identify with those of you losing your cool with your kids (except for me it was much worse when I was ON the tram).  Just breathe, breathe, breathe, and tell youself it's ok to let some things go in the short run (even kids' misbehavior) so you can get better in the long run.

Gerty I remember we got clean together the last time around and you were such an inspiration to me.  I know how strong you are and how determined.  Keep going!

All of you on this forum are amazing and fighting the fight of a lifetime.  Even when I don't post I keep up with everyone and it gives me a boost.  Thanks everyone for being here.
Lilly

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by me1414, Nov 13, 2009
Day 6!!!! Got little or no sleep last night. Woke up today with diahria and a crampy tummy. But all of that is still better than being on the tram. Im excited cause the doc gave me something to help with the anxiety rages that I have been having and it doesnt make me sleepy. Yesterday was a really good day. Today not so good but it will get better. I am looking forward to feeling like doing things again. Fight on Gang!!!!

Avatar universal
by DeathBecomesHer, Nov 13, 2009
Hey there Emily, and everyone else reading. :) I'm a new MedHelp member addicted to Tramadol. I was directed to this post by the very nice madtram. I'll definitely be keeping up with it and posting my own journals (I've already posted a long really honest journal about my opiate story). I've decided that after this semester is over, starting Dec 8th, I'm going to stay at my parents' house and go cold turkey after 2 years of 4 to 6 50m pills a day. I'm trying to find as much support here as I can before D-Day so I have plenty of people to talk to and keep me busy through the worst of it. All of you who post stories on here are amazingly brave people and you make me feel humbled by your strength. I only hope some of that strength will be passed on to me before "the day". Talk to you all again soon!

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by GreatWhite, Nov 13, 2009
Welcome DeathbecomesHer. You have come to the right place. I am 12 days off today and eventhough I am still having trouble sleeping and staying asleep, its wayyy better to actually "feel things" than be on the trams. I didnt cry for 2-3 years when i was taking the pills. I forgot how nice it was to have a good cry every once in a while. And this coming from a guy who rarely ever cries!  The only time I used to cry before was when I watched a really sad movie, and I mean really sad!!!!! not like Enchanted or anything. anyways, use these people for support, they helped me. and look at me now mommy? I am ready to wear big boy pants and take my control of my life!!!

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by george956, Nov 13, 2009
Hi to every one .....im so glad i found this site.... its giving me hope and courage to once and for all stop abusing tramadol... i ben takin it for 3 years and the las one is when i stared to increase my intake of tram., because i found a cheaper  source,and they  came in 100 mg tabs i started taking the same amount of pills,but double doseage....now im up to 8 pills a day....6 if i have the strenght to slow down...i never used any other drug or even alcohol ,only smoking cig. was my only vice..now im addicted to a pain killer!!  i went trhu withrawal....i could not go over 2 days without it...i need to slow down every week, take 1/2 a pill less untill im free of tramadol....i  get  lots of encouragment by reading your posts and i see that is posible.....so i will stop soon,i will check on this site every day...thanks a lot to all of you......i now know im not alone in this fight...thanks again....

Avatar universal
by grandmagirl, Nov 13, 2009
In retrospect...Coming off of Tram was like raising teenagers.. "Nightmare on Elm Street"


Peaceful wishes from California

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 13, 2009
Migraine.  It's what's for dinner.  :(

Got a bit cocky and sassy thinking my migraine days were over.  However at least today I didn't have to pull over, open the car door and start to heave.  Broke my clean streak of no OTC pain meds...but that's really no big deal.  Had a couple Excedrins, and did manage to keep my nose out of the Imitrex.  Literally.

So - I'm taking it easy tonight.  Trying to drink lots of fluids and am curling up with my heating pad, a pizza and the Mister.  Not a bad combo.  Hope to be in good shape tomorrow as it's our 11th wedding anniversary and we're heading out to a fancy dinner tomorrow night.  I caught a good one on the internet 11+ years ago at the ripe old age of 35.  Thanks AOL chatroom!  

I wish everyone a peaceful sleepy night.

-Lori

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by booba77, Nov 13, 2009
Happy anniversary Lori.  You have a great personality I can tell from your posts.  Goodnight all....tomorrow is day 16. hope i can muster up energy to clean.  

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 13, 2009
Back from work and read the posts.Lori you are even handling your migraines differently.Trying to hold off as long as possible before taking a pill or whatever.Already I se a different approach.Often the pain goes away on its own or we do not need anything as strong as we thought we did.Good for you and happy anniversary.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 14, 2009
Good morning everyone.It must have been a good night for I don't hear any desperate cries today.There has been tremendous progress by everyone here and fewer posts indicates fewer problems.Everyone seems to be healing and on the road to recovery.Love and good healing

Avatar universal
by hanginin, Nov 14, 2009
Good morning everyone. I agree with pharma. It seems like this group is heading in the right direction. Today is day 23 for me and I can't believe how much better I feel. I finally got over the cold and I feel normal again. I don't crave the devil pill anymore and I want to get out and do things.  I feel like I can truly stay clean from now on and I owe a lot of it to the
wonderful and brave people who are facing their own demons as I face mine. Everyone stay strong today and for people who are in their first few days of ct just remember that it will get better.

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 14, 2009
How do everyone...My head's pretty good today.  I don't seem to have such a headache hangover this time.  I usually have rocks in my head for a couple days, but this migraine wasn't a barn burner.  I was up way too early for a Saturday...5:30?  Come on...how stupid is that?  Had a pretty sweaty night, I did get some sleep though as I don't feel too bad.  Wonder how dehydrated I get during the night?  Got an early start though on cleaning up my piggy kitchen!  I've been taking my tram at 6AM and 6PM and boy, the brain knows when it's feeding time.  I will be so glad when this is over so I can just sleep normal and not wake up itching for a pill.  Think I'll hang at this level though until after Thanksgiving and my house full of people.  My goal is to be off Tram completely by Christmas.  Merry Christmas to me!

Have a good day everyone..the weekend is here....and so are we!

-Lori

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by gerty411411, Nov 14, 2009
Hi Y'all,

So inspired by everyones committment and hard work.  It is one of my major sources of support besides my need to be drug-free.  Yesterday I had the worse depression/anxiety combo.  I could hardly think or know what I should do next.  I finally decided to walk my dog and do some bellydance.  That was enough focus to get me over the worst of it.  

I'm also on call and have a huge amount of work to do today.  But I took call and worked like this before Tram so I sure as heck can do this on a measely 50mg/day.

I meet again with my psychologist this Thursday.  

I'm getting ready to jump this coming Monday.  It will not be any worse than what I experienced last week.  I know I'm moving in a positive direction.

Lily, so glad you and are still here working on getting T free.


Have a good weekend everyone!

Love, Gerty

  




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by booba77, Nov 14, 2009
I am starting to feel anxious and angry.  Time to clean, that is  probably why.  In thw tramafog, I really let the house go and am now mad at myself for it, but am struggling to find strengrh and energy.  Any advice?

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 14, 2009
Baby steps - Booba.  

Start with one room.  Don't try and tackle the whole house at one time.  That's too overwhelming.  What's the worst?  Bathrooms, kitchen...clutter...laundry?  Pick the one task that would give you the greatest satisfaction and get it done.  Then move on as your energy will allow.

-Lori

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by me1414, Nov 14, 2009
Day 7!!!! How many more days am I gona feel bad? My body feels horrible today. I am not anxious tho. Thats a bonus. I just cant stand being in pain every day. I know I am supposed to see the bright side and it will get better, yada yada. But I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Okay, so there is my pity party. Now I can have a good day I hope. Somebody please tell me that this will be over soon. Like tomarrow, maybe. :)

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by booba77, Nov 14, 2009
Mopped kitchen and bathroom floors....i guess that is progress.  Thanks for the advice Lori.  Will start the kitchen after a nap. One room at a time is best. wish it wasnt so overwhelming.  Me~it willget better.  Day 7 was rough for me too. Better days ahead, i promise.  

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by me1414, Nov 14, 2009
Today I finally jumped on the Imodium train. I feel better now. Took a short nap. I havent felt like grocery shopping, cooking or cleaning in the last two weeks. I started to taper 14 days ago and have been free for 7. I feel so bad about all the take out. But the kids love me for the junk. I absolutely have to go to the store tom. I just get all anxious even thinking about it.  Tomarrow, tomarrow, tomarrow, there is always tomarrow.


Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 14, 2009
Me1414...Seven days is wonderful..Thats a whole week under your belt and soon it will fade away into weeks and months.Just grit your teeth and fight this enemy to the ground and walk away victorious.If you are still having pain,have you tried some otc pain reliever with muscle relaxant.Apparantly there is a product called percogesic in USA that sound ok for pain relief and it is otc.Just stay within recommended doses.

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 14, 2009
Evening everyone..I have been keeping up with everyone although I haven't been posting much. I am so proud of everyone. You guys are doing great. I have been doing fairly well on a pretty consistent basis, until today. Just had a lousy under the weather day. I feel like I am getting sick. I sure hope not. That would be just my luck. I had to take my 1st Immodium yesterday as well, Me1414. Scares me taking those because of all my past issues with not having regular BMs but I had no choice. I had to take some. I don't think this is w/d related, just another thing to make me think I am coming down with something. My little one had to go to her pediatrician (for headaches) and although she doesn't have the flu I think her and I both have a touch of a virus of some sort. Her pediatrician put her on somekind of antihistamine and she fell asleep but then yelled in her sleep all night like she was having nightmares or night terrors so I stopped giving it to her. Bless her heart. The med is call cyproheptadine. I don't know if it was coincidence she had a rotten night or if it was the medicine. All I know is it had never happened before. He put her on that because she is having headaches and I think she inherited her Dad's migraines. Poor thing. She doesn't have them often but when she does have one it is severe. If they don't subside she is going to a neurologist....:-(
On the plus side about me...My pain has become more than bearable. There are times now when I find myself not even hurting. I never thought I would be able to say that. It is so wonderful not to be worried about trams and pain all the time. I finally broke down and bought some 5htp and stopped the St. Johns Wort. I don't think it was helping me. I couldn't tell anyway. I can't tell a difference w/the 5htp yet but then again I just started it yesterday. I must say that at Day 23 I am still feeling so much better than I was. Still having some issues w/my emotions but not as much. So there is hope. I am still eating like there is no tomorrow, that STINKS, but maybe that will pass, too. I am sleeping really good most of the time. All in all, guys IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER. Tomorrow is day 24 for me and honestly 2 weeks ago I didn't think I was going to make it...But I did and here I am knowing now that I will never take the devil pill ever again!!! Wow, I am almost a month in!!! I haven't been pill free this long in over a decade. Woot Woot! Now, if only I could put down the cigarrettes, Diet Mt. Dew and Coffee!!! Baby steps though..I need them right now. :)....Well, I just wanted to check in with everyone and tell you guys that I am still getting motivation and inspiration from reading your posts. I am indeed so proud of all of us and maybe when my life settles down a bit I can become more active in posting again...Everyone have a blessed Sunday and Stay Strong. Remember, in the words of `~Fmn...We are in control now..the drug is not! :)

Love You All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 14, 2009
aloha to all,  I just wanted to report i JUST flushed my last little stash of tram down the john WHOOPEE - only had 1 and 1/2 tram 50mg left but the addict in me kept them for over 10 days 'just incase I went mental and needed them'  WELL, a true test came when I went thru a particularly violent tropical storm 2 days ago.  I had NEVER experienced such intense lightning and thunder and it scared me GREATLY.  Then the day after I realized I hadn't even THOUGHT of taking the trams to 'calm me down and feel better'  Instead I was quiet and looked into the fear and made peace with myself. I felt a pang of fear to flush the last pills, but I KNOW that chapter in my life is done, its time for the new chapter

I SO feel for those tapering and going thru WD - it i8s such a horrible ride to count down to one of your biggest fears, KNOWING you are making the decision to quit and don't know HOW you will handle it.  The tam makes your mind go crazy thinking about it - JUST handle it one minute or one hour at a time, welcome the pain knowing it will lessen - know every second that you don't give in is putting you closer to your goal.  Ride your storm as best as you can, it is MUCH more satisfying to FEEL life and meet it head on  IN THE MOMENT

Lori I hope you are feeling better, try to have healthy snacks - I got 'addicted to dried cranberries, VERY sweet and good FOR you.

I didn't start 5-HTP and L-Tyrosine for a few days after CT - it is working really well for me, I still have to take Nyquil some nights for sleeping - be sure to take your vitamins and supplements, they really help

When tapering and Ct I had a empty feeling pain in stomach that ws r5elieved by eating but only for about 20min and then I would start feeling tummy weird again.  I just made sure I ate often and healthy so I wouldn't overload my digestive system

Booba - I SO hope you family is feeling better again SOOOON, as far as housework - DAMN - you cannot push yourself, just keep at least hygenic and forget the piles and messes, OR try putting everything in bins and out of the way until you FEEL ie like going thru the junk mail, the magazines papers etc - put them out of sight and know you will get to them. When your little one is feeling better maybe you could make a game of tidy up, its amazing how much we can clean when we now a friend is visiting in 10 min

I remember with tapering - having a piece of paper trash on my floor for days, it kept bugging me that I didn;t have the energy or motivation to pick it up, what was the paont anyway - it meant I would have to clean up other places, I just couldn't face it.  NOW I am enjoying getting things sorted and cleaned but REMEMBER   "A clean house could be a sign of a wasted life"  LOL

Also anger helps me clean really well, a good scrubbing really vents the frustrations

be good to yourselves, it gets better and better

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 15, 2009
Good morning everyone.That was a pleasant post inspiring.A pleasure to read in the morning.I agree with the housekeeping tips.As long as things are out of sight ,the house looks clean and organized and we are able to cope with the problem at hand.Looks like everyone is busily getting on with their lives and coping well with their recoveries.As each day passes we are getting stronger and better.Last night I went to bed with no robaxacet and slept well.I still have not had a pain pill(otc of course) yet and am going to stretch them thru the day.I had been taking tylenol extra strength every 4 hours,but am going to try with even less.The board has been a little quiet the last couple of days.I guess no news is good news,but I thought I would just post and say hi and i am still here.November is half over and we are still hangingin.Good for us.

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 15, 2009
Good Morning -

I'm feeling ok despite a rocky Saturday day and night.  Headache was up and down - and I did break down and took some Imitrex.  We were going to dinner and I was getting nauseated and wanted to enjoy the evening.  It seemed to do the trick.  Hopefully today will be back to "normal".  Had a hot night, and also was up with a leg cramp from hell.  Holy hanna, that was unnecessary.  Second one in a week.  They don't necessarily come in the middle of the night.  I was screeching and howling last Sunday during the Mad Men season finale...and not because of the show!  Did some googling this morning and wonder if I'm not a bit dehydrated from all my sweating at night.  I do take calcium - but maybe should add some magnesium.  Not low on potassium as I just got my yearly labs back.  But first things first....going to up the fluids and see if that does the trick.  A few websites mentioned that dehydration can cause cramping.

A sunny cold day here in the Minnieapple.  A refreshing 29 degrees F.  But, the sun is out and we are all above ground and pushing on.

Happy Sunday,
-Lori

Avatar universal
by newway, Nov 15, 2009
Good Morning all,

An unseasonably warm but rainly day here in Ottawa Canada.  By this time last year we had snow!

My taper is still going okay - unlike many of you I am getting more energy as I taper - I still have a rough first few days - but it evens out.  I know it will get to a point where it will be easier to jump off - but for now this is working well for me.  I am not experiencing the depression I did the first time I went C/T - so that is good.  
Yesterday I actually had enough energy to start painting the living room.  I know I have to be able to start and stop quickly - as my energy just stops - so with the painting - I just wrap up the brush and roller - tuck everything in the corner and leave it until the next time I have energy.  So I got well over half done yesterday, and hope to finish it today.  Amazing for me - a few months ago it would have been impossible.

A few problems - my back is really sore - I am icing it right now and have the IFC(?) - electronic impulses? attached to it.  Hopefully it will settle.
I still crave - but I think that has as much to do with my entire addiction history/personality - as it is just coming off the tram.

I remain pretty motivated - all of your posts the new comer and the ones that are further along keep me going.  I have support at home now - it was a bit shaky for a while - but my partner is on board - has done a tone of reading - on here and the articles nancy has posted.
My Dr is also on board - and helping me through the taper, and will work with me when I go C/t .  
So it is up to me to just keep on going!

Keep posting - I rely on all of you!

Avatar universal
by newway, Nov 15, 2009
Okay - I am posting because on the main board there is someone suffering with tram withdrawal and I have no idea how to get her here.
Hopefully this will show up on the side and she can click on it.
If not - if anyone else could help direct her over her?

Avatar universal
by tman4071, Nov 15, 2009
day 17 at 7 p.m.  ,,,it was a amazing ride,,,,i did it, but still ups and downs and very lazy and sore,,,,anybody feel sore like in the knees ,,,,,no regrets cant wait till back to normal,,,,when does the energy come back anyone know????

ty to everyone you all made this happen,,,,,,,,,,

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by booba77, Nov 15, 2009
tman...day 17 as well.  I am sore too and still have no energy or desire to do much.  Still loose stools and am starting to worry.  I think I have bad cramps and my kidneys hurt too but the mental is getting to me. badly.   I am super snappy and irritable most of the time.  what is wrong with me? When will it get better? Last night the insomnia was terrible and seem to have the RLS or my legs are just super sore.  Sorry to be so down tonight......just want to feel better.

Avatar universal
by tman4071, Nov 15, 2009
i think one thing that keeps me going is i know it gets better,,,,i feel so lazy,,,,,,,,,congrats booba atleast we are through the worst,,,,,but energy is needed,,,,,,goodluck ,,,,

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by gerty411411, Nov 15, 2009
Hi y'all,

I'm 6 days into my rapid taper.  My choice as I just want to get this process onthe road.  I tapered over 3-4 weeks before.
Today I flushed my remaining tram down the commode excepth for my final pill.  I haven't decided if I will split i and take each half today and tomorrow or take it this evening and start the week t free. I would like to begin the week positively.

Working out daily has been a big help.  I also try to snack every 3-4 hours,  I'm trying to eat healthy but am not obsessive about it,

Question- is rls when your legs move like crazy at night?  This happened last pm and drove me crazy for around 3 hours,

Love you all!!!!

Gerty

Avatar universal
by bptfixxer, Nov 15, 2009
Three years of Trams followed by Oxies and Codine afte knee replacement. After the Knee rehab the real pain began. First the Oxie and Codine wean... I only had serious balistic episode (a 9mm handgun was involved ) with the first round however the Trams were still available.  My wife deceided Trams had to go so the next sound I heard was a flushing Toilet. About 36 hrs later I started sending emails to anyone I thought could help ...of course that landed me in the local rehab for 3 days.  I got released on the 13th and sleep has become my best friend.  I had perhaps 4 hrs of normal activity today and that was up about an hour from yesterday.  Too tired too work ...too hyper to sleep.   Ambien works but now my wife thinks I'm trading 1 addiction for another.  Whatever gets you thru the night is all I care about at this point  I will use that Bandade until I can get rid of it.  DON'T FORGET THAT THE FEDERAL FAMILIES WITH DISSABILITIES ACT protects you from losing your job but you must contact your employer in writting.  Don't let them BS you ..the law is provided for these situations to protect us

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 15, 2009
Hi Everyone- Sorry, I haven't been keeping up with posts or posting.  I have 12 days today I think.  I'm doing okay.  My psychiatrist had switched me from Pristiq to Effexor and had bumped up my dose.  But the depression cleared more quickly than clinical depression, so he believes that it's rebound or detox depression from lack of tramadol. I agree.  So, we've started a taper off the Effexor too.  As well as my klonopin at night.  I'm dropping that by .25.  I'm still taking the clonidine at night because it seems to help me sleep.

I've had slight headaches for a few days, which is unusual for me.  I think it's due to the changes in anti-depressant dosing.  It feels a bit like anti-depressant withdrawal.  So, could be the tramadol or the change to effexor.  If anyone has dealt with Pristiq or Effexor, I'd like to hear how they tapered off.  Pristiq is so new that my psychiatrist didn't want to mess with it (came from GP before).

Other than that, doing okay.  Went to a baby shower yesterday and dealt well with being around people...it was coed and there were people drinking, but it was fine.  Better than I'd have thought!

I will read more tomorrow.  Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Jenny

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 15, 2009
Bptfixxer...Congrats on being tram free for 3 to 6 days.It is a really rough time and any help that is legal is needed.I really don't understand your post.Are you asking us for help?We are here to help every single person that posts and understand the difficulty you are going thru.You sound understandably upset for you are going through a rough time.Keep posting and we will be here for you.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 15, 2009
Back from work and only needed 2 extrastrength tylenols all day.It was busy and did not have time to be sore.I'm at home now and resting and will soak in epsom salts soon.I hope everyone had a good weekend.

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 15, 2009
Good Evening Everyone. I am back in Augusta and tomorrow my daughter IS having the skin graphs. Hopefully only one more trip after this. HOPEFULLY that will be the last one!. I did ok on the trip here. I was a bit ill as my hubby is being a &*#@ before we left! I got here and wanted to take a hot bath and they only have a stand up shower so that will have to do. I got some Percogesic before I hit the road and it seems to really help ALOT! So you guys may wanna give it a try for pain. I cleaned my car out before the trip and low and behold there was a devil pill under the passender seat. I tossed it in the trash at the car wash before I even had time to think about it. A month ago I would have popped it...Dirt and all!!! LOL..I am about to shower and find a good movie. I really need some sleep tonight because tomorrow is going to be a stressful..STRESSFUL day. Surgery at 8AM! Wish us luck! The shower is calling my name! :) Love You Guys and Stay Strong!


Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 15, 2009
Bpt fixxer.I read your profile and feel for you.You are in a difficult position but you can overcome it with your own determination and our help.You do have some T3 to help you withdraw from tramadol,but the antidepressant effect of tramadol is much harder to withdraw from.You dropped from 300mg/day to nothing and are probably severely depressed among other things.No wonder you are upset.You innocently got addicted to a drug that all the doctors and drug companies are saying is not addicting.IT IS ADDICTING..as we all know and has a double whammy of also being an antidepressant which makes it hard to quit.Don't feel guilty about the sleeping pill for now for it will help sleep and arm yourself for a big battle with vitamins an amino acids and epsom salt baths for restless legs and body.We know exactly what you are going through and thoroughly understand.On the main forum page to the right if you scroll down are the Thomas recipe and amino acid protocol.You will probably need this and we love you for coming here

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 15, 2009
PS the most difficult time is during the first 3-7 days and then thins get much better.Please let us know how you are doing because we care

Avatar universal
by hanginin, Nov 15, 2009
Hello everyone. Notsosunny. Good luck tomorrow and great job tossing that tramadol. I know I've found them several times when I had quit before and with only one of the devils I was on them again. Today was 24 for several of us and for everyone in the first few day just keep on fighting.  Take lots of vitamins, esp b12 and take whatever you have to help you sleep and deal with the RLS. It will get better and you will start doing things and being there for your family in ways that you haven't been on the tram.  I have had more fun the last few weeks with my family than I have in years and thats even with the withdrawal symptoms.  I finally am sleeping and I feel like my old self again. I know its still going to be rocky but I never want to go thru tram withdrawal again and I never will. I will have surgery with nothing for pain before I take another of those life sucking devils. Please everyone keep fighting and keep posting.  This board can truly change a persons life. Thanks to all who have helped me get this far.
Hanginin

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 15, 2009
Today a customer brought back her deceased mother's pills for us to dispose of.In the bag were some  tylenol3.I promptly threw them in a coffee tin with chlorine.They just fizzed away...as I victoriously watched.Success and no more wanting or needing them.In my old days I probably would have kept them for myself.We all passed our little tests today with flying colours and will continue to do so.Love and continued healing to all.Goodnight everyone

Avatar universal
by bptfixxer, Nov 15, 2009
pharma9 ..Thank You for the support. I agree with your statement my posts may be difficult to understand and am surprised by the rantings I sometimes post. Blame it on my withdraw.   My posts are a daily log off what many people can expect if they go cold turkey.   Brief History.   Three plus years on Trams 300-400mg per day. Knee Replacement meds (Oxy+Codine ) were added  on October 5,  Weaning of Oxy and Codine began about 10-26 resulting in a threatened suicide attempt. One week later all Tramadol was dumped down the John then after 2nd suicide threat the police forced rehab (gentle music-a bunk beside another addict and Ambien ..all this for just $200 a day)
So the timeline is No Oxy after 10-26 and no trams after November 6.  It has been 9 days since any opiates have been introduced into my body and I'm up to about 4 hours a day of quality time* per day.   If my projection is based between friday and today I will be gaining about 1/2 to 1 hour per day of increased quality time*.  I am projecting that by Friday it will be possible to hold a job.   I still need an Ambein for sleep.

DON'T FORGET THAT THE FEDERAL FAMILIES WITH DISSABILITIES ACT protects you from losing your job but you must contact your employer in writting.  Don't let them BS you ..the law is provided for these situations to protect us


*Quality time is feeling as good as before the addiction.able to work,laugh watch TV

Avatar universal
by bptfixxer, Nov 15, 2009
How can any of us over 50 forget This Stones Song that is still current today about drugs?

What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day




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by adamIScool, Nov 15, 2009
I found this forum totally by accident. I'm a heavy tram user and it's a secret from pretty much evryone I know. It's such a double ended sword though because, yea- I'm addicted but also I have 3 herniated discs confirmed three years ago and my back has only gotten much worse. As much as I hate the trams it's helps the pain and gets me through the work day. I want to quit, what can I do?

Avatar universal
by newway, Nov 16, 2009
Pain management is what brought many here.  Fred is the resident expert in explaining the evil in the tramadol tolerance dance.  You can scroll back throughthe last few pages - he posts it often.
Basically you build up a tolerance to tram - the 1 pill every 6 hours no longer works - and on top of it you start to go through withdrawal - so you up it to two, the three - whatever it takes to fend off the withdrawal. (help me out Fred)
Tram helps with the pain, and our moods for the first few years - but then it turns and takes over our life and we no longer get the relief it once gave.  
Many of us refer to it as the tram fog - your energy is gone, little motivation - just a big fog.
Read some of the posts - many of us have had to find alternative means to control pain - it really is a quality of life thing - if the drugs are making you miserable - maybe it is time to seek out other options.
I am sure others will reply to your post - I am just one of those up with the ever so fun insomnia that coming off tram provides.
Keep reading and posting - you will learn a lot.

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by madtram, Nov 16, 2009
Welcome Adam, you are in the right place if you do want to quit.  Trams put their tentacles in deep so it helps if you really want to quit more than you want the benefits you are getting from them, particularly if they are still providing you with effective pain relief.

When you say "heavy" user, what's your average dose?  Have you had to keep increasing your dose to get the same effects?

Quitting itself is pretty straight forward, you can either taper down or just stop cold turkey.  This will be a shock to your system if you are on a high dose but others on this post have quit from 1,000 mgs & can fill you in on their experiences.

Tapering can be the more gentle way to come off high doses but it does require the willpower to keep the taper going which can be hard if you are addicted and towards the lower doses some feel that it just prolongs the withdrawal.

Either way when you have genuine pain, you need to have a plan for dealing with it when off the tramadol.  Some of us have found that tramadol actually increased our pain & have experienced less pain off tramadol.  However, it's common to experience some rebound pain in withdrawal as your pain receptors come back to life & it can be tough getting through that unless you are determined & prepared.

As pharma will no doubt tell you, OTC pain relievers can work although it may take some psychological adjustment as they don't have the energy kick & mood boost that some get from opioids.  I am finding celebrex helpful.


What else have you tried for your back pain?  Do you use any physical therapy?  Is surgery an option?

Tramadol contains an antidepressant & depression is common during withdrawal as you are also coming off the AD.  There are non-pharmaceutical remedies but some people do better on prescription antidepressants.  I am raising this now because the better you are prepared, the greater your chances of success.

Reading through some of the older posts on Emily's journal will give you a good idea of the realities of this. Click on List View at the top of this page to see the earlier entries.   It is totally achievable by anyone who wants it enough but for some of us it has been the toughest challenge we have faced.

Let us know what we can do to help you now.

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by madtram, Nov 16, 2009
Newway, I'm sorry you are having a bad night but glad that the taper is leaving you with more energy than the cold turkey.  Painting, wow, as I've said before, during most of withdrawal, I was still patting myself on the back for achieving basic domestic chores.

Avatar universal
by hatetramadol, Nov 16, 2009
The doctor told me the same, that tramadol is not addictive and not really a narcotic. He said absolutely nothing about it's properties akin to SSRIs. So when my years long taking 3 a day gradually upped to 6, and my prescriptions would get filled earlier and earlier, he looked at me like I was a criminal. He should be one of the ones behind bars for prescribing the damn stuff. People need to know before they take it that it's more than just a narcotic mimic. Far worse, it messes with your head.

The reason I was given tramadol was in a lame attempt to control my back pain. They eventually gave me strong narcotic pain medicine, which does a great job but kept the tram in there. I have tested it and can stop taking my narcotic pain medicine for a day or more without withdrawal, even now that I'm taking extended release morphine. But, if I try a day or two without tramadol, it's living hell. I think the worst for me are the brain zaps, fog and the feeling that my arms are being clawed from the inside.

Narcotic pain meds are truly a gift from God. He made the plant that can give us relief. We can choose whether or not to abuse it and regular pain relief would not lead to abuse in most people. But tramadol is insidious. It is a bastardization of the real thing, and doctors push it on us knowing it isn't as good as the real pain reliever, and they are ignorant in not knowing the toll it takes on ones mind and self.

As I said before, I had to slowly increase my dose to fend off withdrawal and being unable to function. I quickly found out that it was the tramadol. So does the doctor help in any way? No, except to look at me like I'm a junky when he's the pusher.

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by gerty411411, Nov 16, 2009
Hi y'all,

Today is my jumping off day!  I'll be needin lots of good thoughts coming my way!!!

Off to work.

Love, Gerty

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 16, 2009
Bptfixxer.Are you not taking any pain relief at all.I found after the initial rebound pain subsided that otc meds worked fine for pain and still do.Opiates cause a strong rebound pain and so do otc pain meds to a much lesser extent.I take extrastrength tylenol and ibuprofen or aleve in proper doses and sometimes at night substitute the extrastrength tylenol with extrstrength robaxacet.In USA there is a product called percogesic otc that is very effective pain reliever.Perhaps these can make your day even more bearable.Almost everyone here notices that their pain is diminished  when they get past rebound pain.Epsom salt soaks are great and you need the vitamins to biuld up your strength.If you stick with us we will help you along,for you can see many success stories on this board.Depression is another difficult to handle.I did not have it becaues I only withdrew from opiates not tramadol.Gerty...I will be thinking about you.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 16, 2009
My typing has not gotten any better.Lots of typos in my post.Just having breakfast and off to work.Will check in when I get back tonight.Love all...

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by booba77, Nov 16, 2009
Good luck Gerty.  You can do this.  today is day 18 for me and i feel pretty good this am  we are all here for you.

Avatar universal
by bptfixxer, Nov 16, 2009
GOOD MORNING pharma9 !!  Day 10 of cold turkey started with me up early ,(here in Md. it's 8am been up since 6.30am.)  I have an emergency appointment request so perhaps my Cymbalta will get adjusted to preaddict levels.  My wife has become an absolute lunatic regarding any medication I'm taking.  She is having a very hard time about the Ambein and is in complete control of all meds.   The rehab doc wants me to start Ambilify but after reading some articles I have serious concerns.  I've been on Zoloft and lately Cymbalta for many years and never had a problem untill the Tramadol addiction.  The only thing I do miss is the sex drive I once had ...No sex for over 2 years ...Oh well ...  Too bad that didn't happen 20 years ago or perhaps I would be rich with still having all the money spent in in persuit.   One day at a time on the Tram withdraw is all I can handle at this point anyway

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 16, 2009
Adam- I started tramadol for a herniated disc as well.  I ended up having three nerve shots in my spine and they were the only thing that really helped, plus physical therapy and time :(.  Anyway, my back and sciatica was better long before I stopped the trams.  I just didn't realize.  Tramadol isn't really a good long term solution because it effects the brain like an anti-depressant.  It ***** to adjust to being off, but it's worth it.  Tomorrow will be two weeks for me.

Jenny

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by booba77, Nov 16, 2009
Congrats to 2 weeks tomorrow Jenny.  I feel much better this morning.  The weekend was rough.  I could not have done this without u guys.  Good luck all.  Happy Monday.

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 16, 2009
Glad you're feeling better Booba! I'm better than last week at least.  Golly, I got censored up there LOL.  It makes it seem like I said something inappropriate, but hardly.

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by GreatWhite, Nov 16, 2009
Good luck Gerty we r all here for you! Vent away your emotions and listen to people as they know what theyre talking about. Today is 2 weeks for me. And  iam pretty much back to normal except i get RBS at night alot and am still having trouble sleeping at night through the night. Although last night i didnt wake up once and actually had some cool dreams, i didnt fall asleep until after midnight and wake up at 6am. So only 6 hours for me seems to be the norm. I feel fine during the day, just searching for my old personality atop of all the work I have to do. Im so glad to have this extra $200 a month in my pocket for XMAS instead of for drugs! good luck to you all going CT, it is a mind battle as well as a physical battle. But remember that God has already healed you when you confess to him. The devil will keep trying to drag you back to that pill, but put God first and your life first because He lives in you, and confess to yourself that you are healed!!!

-Chris

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 16, 2009
Good morning Troopers.  Another day, another dime.

Good luck Gerty - you can do it!  And welcome to the new names I'm seeing - BPT...Adam and Hatetram...apologies if I missed someone.

I had a better night sleeping last night - but must be paying for it with another crappy head again today.  I'm trying Excedrin first, hopefully I can keep my nose out of the Imitrex.  Still staying at 100mg/day tram this week - I'm a scaredy cat about Thanksgiving so I think I'll drop to 50mg after that is over and my guests are gone.  Like I mentioned before, I plan on jumping C/T before Christmas.  Going back to my Dr this Wednesday for a post migraine appt.  I think the BC pills need to be stronger - this night sweating and 3 weeks of bleeding (sorry guys-TMI) is not for the faint at heart and is pretty ridiculous.

I'm really trying hard to push the fluids...and not all Diet Coke either!  I think it will help my leg cramps and I know that dehydration can aggravate headaches too.  Sheesh - I think anything can aggravate headaches....next thing I'll hear is that breathing is bad for your head!  :)  ha!

Have a good day all - I'll check on you later.

-Lori

Avatar universal
by bptfixxer, Nov 16, 2009
Crashed after 3 hours of patting myself on the back for feeling good this morning ...Oh well, I just have to keep trying.  As I said earlier it's day number 10 since cold turkey (all the 3 day rehab did was provide a bed and prevent me from harming myself).
My wife is unable to cope.  She wants to be in total control but she realizes that's impossible. Every time she hears a noise she thinks I'm taking another pill. She has all my meds (to keep peace in the house I don't complain) but I feel like a little boy when at night I have to ask for an Ambien.  Sometimes I feel I am paying a debt I don't owe and my anger level goes into the red zone at the drop of a hat.  At this point I am considering living on a different part of the house for a couple weeks because we seem to be in different worlds at this point.   My Son suggested we call our Pastor but my wife will only take his critisizm about me and dissregard any advice to her(experienced in that area).  I got totally ballistic with a counsoler we were seeing at the V.A. when she reinforced my wife's dumping the trams down the toilet and then remarked "it was my fault for lieing about them" When I said it could have been dangerous she said "well,you seem to have survived".  Of course my wife now is proud of herself.  
It seems like the burdon's just continue to mount.  I will fight the battles I can and try to ignore the ones I can't.
The Good news is that on Day #10 I have no desire for a Trammy ... but I feel if I could get an amphetimine I would lunge at it ...I feel so weak and alone

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by GreatWhite, Nov 16, 2009
Hang in there bptfixxer. Alot of people dont understand what an addiction is unless you have experienced it first hand. Took my gf a lot of talks for her to even begin to understand what I am going through. You def need to reach out to your Pastor, even if it is just you. You cant change other people, no matter how hard you try. so separating yourself from her is prob the best idea. Maybe even see a marriage counselor if you want to make it work eventually. If she loves you, and wants to stay with you, she will and she will want to make it better. If she doesnt want to make it better, you guys werent meant to be either. You know what you are doing, and you know you havent taken one, so thats all that matters. I take a bunch of vitamins now and my gf still goes through them to see if they are trams in there eventhough i have been completely clean for 14 days and dont have any trams at all!!! I know that, she doesnt believe me and rightfully so because i used to hide them. But every single day that you dont have one will clear your mind up to weigh all your options and think more clearly for solutions to your problems. You seem like you are intelligent enough to get throguh anything..keep it up.

Peace and love,
-Chris

Avatar universal
by bptfixxer, Nov 16, 2009
I suggested calling the Pastor for our problem with fighting ... wife remarked  You mean your problem.   Gotta love it.
It seems this problem may go beyond Trams.  Need lots of prayers, perhaps she is right

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 16, 2009
Bpt- When you're married, your problem is her problem and vice versa.  Getting a third party involved would really help I'm sure.  You can both present the way you feel.  Hopefully, the pastor or a counselor would be a non-biased party.  The person that said anything was "your fault" wasn't doing their job properly.  It's their job to help you find ways to talk to one another.  Give it another chance. Jenny

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by booba77, Nov 16, 2009
My spouse didnt know about my addiction.  I hid it well for 2 years.  I will tell him one day.  he has gone to hell and back for me, and i am not putting him thru that right now, although that means I get off kind of easy, if u could call it that.  your wife is upset that u lied about your use and she is lashing out.  let her read the boards, encourage her to.  She needs to kniw how hard this will be for both of you, but she needs to know it will get better and u need to know that too.  seeing your pastor is a great idea.  i would see one if i had one.  Good luck.  you can do this.  

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by me1414, Nov 16, 2009
Hello All,
Day 9!!!!!!!!!! From my lips to God's ears on day 7. I asked for it to get better the next day and horray, it did. I felt better on day 8 than the last 2 weeks. Day 9 is good too. Still only have about 7 good hours of hard work in me. Like I have been busy all morning and now I gotta rest before round 2. I am thankful for the prayers. I just couldn't seem to see that it would be better. I almost feel normal. If I ever was. Super human was what I was on Tram. I could stay on my feet 16 hours a day and not get tired. Now I think about half of that is super human given the lack of Tram. I am happy to see the new people who are taking the leap. Even after all the pain, it is so worth it. Gerty its scary but go for it. Lori I know it hurts like heck but keep going. Now to rest before I run out of time. I'll check in with ya'll on day 10.

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 16, 2009
aloha to all

Booba -  I am SO glad you are starting to feel better -you deserve it SO much. You went thru hell and quitting CT after so many mg a day was A  M  A  Z  I  N  G

Lori - I know you don't want to hear this BUT could the horrible ingrredients of Diet soda be making your headaches worse. Anyway, one step at a time, get off the drugs first but try to drink pure water and flush and detox your system with health

Bpt - hang in there - YES I would go see your pastor or someone like 'em BUT only for venting and support.  Don't try to sort out old problems OR make new decisions when you are in the WD pain.  I remember waking one morning and I felt and thought NORMAL thoughts.  Your brain will play hell with you as you WD and the best thing to do is take care of yourself and ride the wave. Just minute by minute, hour by hour, this time will pass and you will start getting your REAL self back again THEN you can sort out your life

Thanks again to my original wonderful warriors, the ones who welcomed me here and supported each other - Pharma. not sosunny, forget me not, hillbilly, the tram men, greatwhite and anyone else's name I've missed - -tho I have never met you, we know each other, that is incredible support  Bless you all

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 16, 2009
Bpt - what everyone else said.  I'm almost ashamed for whining about migraines and night sweats when you have a lot uglier issues to deal with.  One thing I might add - yes, it's great that your wife has the keys to the meds...but you ARE an adult and I think you can be trusted with the Ambien and the Tylenol.  I know you need to pick your battles, but that piece of control seems a bit excessive to me, but what do I know.  Hang in there... if you're not craving the tram poison...you're doing great.  Baby steps - if you have marriage trouble that goes deeper than drug addiction...tackle the addiction first I think.  Inspiring had a good point, get your real self back first...then sort out the rest.  ( Kind of like, hook up your oxygen mask first before assisting others...)

ME - thanks for the Diet Coke advice, you are probably right - but I have to get off the tram train first - then work on the caffeine.  I am trying to get water or crystal light in too, one for one - one dcoke, one water.

To all - remember, even if it's two steps forward, and one step back....it's still progress in the right direction.

-Lori

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by GreatWhite, Nov 16, 2009
I havent had a migraine since I dropped drinking soda.. that is no lie. So consider it, i was addicted to soda forever, adn finally just decided to stop. Lost 10lbs in 6 months from it too.. soda is soo unhealthy! even the diet and Zero kind.

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 16, 2009
Right on Greatwhite, diet soda is ALL chemicals and NO nutrition- but don't feel guilty with your comfort foods, off with the tram FIRST  Love and aloha to all - be GOOD to YOURSELVES

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 16, 2009
Don't feel too bad Lori- I've been trying to kick diet coke for ages now.  I've switched some to diet sprite, but that has chemicals too, just not caffeine.  Since kicking tramadol, I just haven't felt like dealing with the diet coke.  Now, I'm dealing with getting off effexor and klonopin LOL.  Diet coke and coffee have moved pretty far down the list!

We have to be gentle with ourselves in this process.  I figure I'll have to stop that when I start trying to get pregnant next year, so that'll be a motivator.

Jenny

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by Lillyval, Nov 16, 2009
GO Gery!

Tramman are you out there? haven't heard from you for a while.  Hope you're doing OK.

Welcome everyone new to this forum.  There are lots of great people here fighting right along with you.
God bless,
Lilly

Avatar universal
by hanginin, Nov 16, 2009
I am also a diet coke drinker. I need to stop but I am going to wait a few weeks after the trams.  I can't imagine it will be to hard after going ct from trams.  I am looking at a month soon and just wanted to tell everyone to keep fighting. It is so worth it.

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by gerty411411, Nov 16, 2009
Hi Y'All,

Thanks for the good thoughts I know it helped me and will continue to help me.  This time I am so frigging motivated and I plan on getting away from the devil drug forever.  I  had a great day today I almost felt like the old Gert.  I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to have 2 days of feeling like ****.  If I do I'll get through and remember how good I felt and feel today!

Lillyval, how are you getting along?  I hope your doing ok.

Lorie, When I was at the peak of my tram addiction I had a migraine every month related to my cycle.  Maybe your migrianes are being stimulated by tram or possibly by a change in your brain chemistry related to your taper.  I don't know I'm just a simple surgeon.

bptfixer I feel for you-- keep on trucking.  Don't let your spouses need for control disrupt your recovery.  I also agree it would be good to involve a third party (priest/counselor) to assist you both.  I know this might sound selfish but IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW.  You are in the fight of your life so do what you need to fight!!!!


Love, Gerty

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 16, 2009
Bpt..You are not entirely alone.We are here and understand you and will help you.You are doing one great big enormous thing for yourself and your wife by stopping the drugsThese drugs were prescribed to you for legitimate reasons and you did not get addicted to them on purpose.The same thing could have and has happened to many others and we will help you out of this mess,because your life will improve and your libido will probably return when all this is settled.Your pain will become manageable and you will have more energy and strength.Day 10 is PHENOMENAL I applaud you and keep up your spirit.You still have your sense of humour and that will help get you throughYour wife is probably worried about the suicide attempts,but that was because you were forced to go ct off trams.Its like stopping antidepressants suddenly.The depression is overwhelming but will improve.Keep taking the b12 and antioxidants with zinc.Zinc I believe has a bit of natural antidepressant effect.No more than 50mg zinc a day.I take the antioxidants that are for eye health which contain zinc.Also take omegas and vitamin d 1000 u/day and b12 1000mcg/day.Good to see you posting and you are getting there.

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by madtram, Nov 16, 2009
I agree it's essential to maintain some treats through withdrawal, certainly no food item matches the systemic havoc caused by tramadol.

However, since you guys have been discussing migraines & diet soda, I thought I would post this for anyone who is interested, (coincidentally it arrived in my medical research inbox this morning):

Aspartame is a widely used artificial sweetener that has been linked
to pediatric and adolescent migraines.
Upon ingestion, aspartame is broken, converted, and oxidized into
formaldehyde in various tissues.
We present the first case series of aspartame-associated migraines
related to clinically relevant positive reactions to formaldehyde
on patch testing.

Case Series

Six patients (ages 16 to 75 years) were referred for evaluation of
recalcitrant dermatitis. By history, five of the patients were noted
to have developed migraines following aspartame consumption; the
sixth reported dermatitis flares associated with diet cola
consumption of >2 liters/day.

All six patients had current environmental exposures to formaldehyde
or formaldehyde-releasing preservatives in their personal hygiene
products and/or regular consumption of "sugar-free food" artificially
sweetened with aspartame.

Based on their histories and clinical presentations, these patients
were patch-tested with the North American Contact Dermatitis
Group 65-allergen Standard Screening Series and selected
chemicals from the University of Miami vehicle, fragrance, bakery,
and textile trays.

All six patients had positive reactions to formaldehyde, and four had
additional positive reactions to formaldehyde-releasing preservatives
(FRPs). Expert counseling on allergen avoidance (including
avoidance of formaldehyde, FRPs, and aspartame) and alternative
product recommendations were provided to the patients.

At their follow-up appointments (between 8 and 12 weeks), all the
patients showed clearance of their dermatitis.

Formaldehyde, aspartame, and migraines, the first case series,
Sharon E Jacob-Soo, Sarah A Stechschulte, UCSD, Dermatitis
2008 May: Rich Murray 2008.07.18

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 16, 2009
Gerty..When you are so motivated,you will stress the good things and not get bogged down with the bad.You will be able to keep your eye on the prize and be willing to jump through hoops to get there.I just feel nothing but good vibes coming from you and this motivation and determination will give you the strength to continue even when it gets rough.By  Christmas I am sure all of us will be there.

Avatar universal
by newway, Nov 16, 2009
Bpt et al,  I kept my addictions a secret for a long time - but as it started to unwind my partner was angry, hurt and the trust was really damaged.
I also have my meds "kept" for me.  I don't mind - I am tapering - so not having them readily available is a good thing.  It would have felt less demeaning if it was my idea - but I handed them over like a scolded child.  I understand the anger and lack of trust.  So for now this is the way it is.
I have been getting my partner to read this web site - both this string and the main forum.  The next step is al-anon - we talk about it and it is looking good.  I realize my partner needs support, information and insight to help her deal with what I am going through.

I am still maintaining the taper - and feeling okay - some days are good, some are a complete waste - I am either overly anxious and jumpy - or I sleep the whole day.

Hang in there - from what I read from those who have more time in - iit is worth everything we go through.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 16, 2009
Just had my hot soak in an epsom salt bath and realized that tramadol is like speed and narcotic all rolled into one pill.No wonder everyone likes it and no wonder it is hard to stop and no wonder it builds tolerance quickly.Boy,it sure is the devil pill.With that thought I'm going to bed.Good night everyone a sleep peacefully.

Avatar universal
by DeeTram, Nov 17, 2009
Ahhh... newway I look forward to your posts. Your words are exactly what my husband would say if he posted on here. He is now 5 days Tram Free and doing great. Even though he hasn't read this forum some of the things he says is word for word of what is being said on here. uncanny.
newway, bptfixxer -  Speaking on behalf of the spouses of Tram victims, we want to get the trust back. We want US to get back to normal. But it's a longgg slow process just like the tapering process. There will be good trust days and bad trust days. Please just keep reassuring us DAILY (even 3 or 4 times a day) that you're not lying or cheating or sneaking etc.  Just like these posts give you the support and encouragement you need, us spouses need the same thing. After all, we are living with the Tram devil and witnessing the bad days, mood swings etc. Some days it's very difficult to watch - feeling helpless knowing we can't take the pain away. So we sit on the sidelines trying to be good Cheerleaders.....then all of a sudden the Irritability or Anger kicks in and we have to give you some space so we don't add to the H*LL you're going through.  Communicate, talk to us. We want to know what you're thinking.... How you're really feeling.

Other than late afternoon fatigue and a few headaches MrDeeTram is well on his way to recovery. The past 3 nights he's gone to bed by 7:30 pm & slept for 10 hrs. He's been on an anti-depressant for 2 yrs. and has started taking B12. Epsom salts baths help too (thanks pharma9).   I think this combination has helped him through this WD nightmare. We will be heading South in 2 weeks for some much needed fun in the sun for 2 months. Something we couldn't do last year. Ahhhh.... progress.

Thanks pharma9, you've been like our private physician.   Send me a bill and I'll turn it into my insurance  :)   Your job must be very difficult for you some days. Like an alcoholic working in a brewery.  You must have very strong will power.

Prayers for all of you. Good night. Sweet dreams.

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 17, 2009
Deetram- I think you're great.  You seem to have a great understanding of the process.  I believe that we addicts do owe it to our spouses to be honest and reassure in the wake of our addictions.  It's just like if someone has cheated and the couple stays together, you have to earn that trust back by being open and not secretive.  I'm not saying that the people here who haven't told their spouses are in the wrong...just mean that if it is out in the open, then people have to try to be understanding to their spouses concerns.  But, as with anything, sometimes the spouse needs help too.  I think it's common for the spouse to become overbearing and too controlling as the above poster's wife might be.  Not all spouses are doing what you are doing and going out and learning about it! Great job and I think this will feed your husband's recovery.

Madtram- Thanks for the diet coke info.  I've never had a migraine, but who knows how much damage diet coke could have done to me in general.  Hard to separate it from the other things I've done that could have damaged me.  I wonder if it could have triggered the antibodies illness I have for thyroid since they don't seem to know what causes that.  But I figured that was probably smoking related too.  Again, hard to separate it all.  At least I gave that one up!

Jenny

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by booba77, Nov 17, 2009
I have had the worst insomnia for the past 3 nights.  The RLS is back too.  Melatonin doesnt work for me.  I took a sliver of a klonopin and that didnt help much.  It is rough running on 3 hours.  Yesterday was good though, except the not sleeping.  When do normal sleep patterns generally return?  this is killing me.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 17, 2009
DeTram..I think the sun will be very good for healing because you both will build up natural vitamin d to help the immune system and restore the nervous system.The final stages of the withdrawal will occur in a pleasant environment and Mr DeTram will heal more quickly.Even getting away from triggers and the current situation will be valuable to his healing.We wish the best for him and you and you both deserve this rest.

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by gerty411411, Nov 17, 2009
booba I also had the worst insomnia last night, too.  I took meletonin and even found a phenergan in the medicine cabinet and took that.  Finally after another hot bath I think I got around 3-4 hours. Sleep deprivation is the utmost torture to this w/d. Tonight I'm going to try some tylenol pm and i'm not evengoing to think about bed untill 10-11pm.  The dreams are also very wierd and at times frightening.  The rls is also kicking in.

Well back to the hospital to finish office.  I had to stop back home and pick up my daughter as she is home form school.

Any advice from y all about the insomnia?

Take care!

Gerty

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 17, 2009
gerty..I am always hesitant to suggest the Nyquil because it can itself be habit forming..but  better than benzos.The nyquil has to be the one without the decongestant.The one that only contains tylenol,doxylamine and dextrmethorphan.One shot of that knocked me out and gave me needed rest for the night.I only needed it for a few nights and now need nothing at all..not even robaxacet.Perhaps it will help you.Good luck and my thoughts are with you.

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by booba77, Nov 17, 2009
I hate the benzos, and will try something else tonight if sleep wont happen.  I feel so vulnerable and weak today for some reason.  To all of you going thru the worst of it, things will get better I promise.  I have sure put on the pounds since quitting the trams.  Tman~how are u feeling?  I think we jumped at the same time.  what is up  with the sneezing?  i sneeze nonstop all the time and I am 19 days clean.  it is really weird.  i better work.  ttyl guys....keep fighting....

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 17, 2009
Phama9 is right on with advice.  At first I took the 5-HTP then switched to Nyquil and it worked GREAT. I went thru one bottle and don't need it anymore. THANK GOD I am sleeping quite well.

Hang in there Booba, I send you best wishes

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by TheUltramateWarrior, Nov 17, 2009
Hello All.
I was here not to long ago and made a few comment's.
I am now pretty much myself again and I realize that it was indeed torture to quit taking them.
I went cold from 20 a day for ten day's and had been taking them for about 5 month's and the day after my first night's sleep,which was night 9 at that level  and for a few's day's before my adrenal gland's were going haywire and I felt very sick.
So needless to say on day ten I then got a refill and took those for two week's and then quit again after only being on them for two week's at a high dose.
So I was probably 75% done the first time and it was very hard from such a high dose.
I felt very ill and just knew it was my adrenal gland's.
Okay so after 7 day's of being cold from the latest high dose,I slept on my 5th night and now I am on day 7 without any adrenal sick/weak feeling like I was going to die.
I am done taking them and even though I gave in before,I had defeated it so much that it was nothing the second time two week's later.
Strange.
I feel great.
I had drank a large protein drank every morning,took a half Multi Centrum,flaxseed oil gel,Milk thistle gel,took Advil and a few Immodium everyday.
I drank alot of coffee in the morning's.
Ate alot.
Drank alot of water and listened to music and jogged in place,stretched out/worked out very lightly.
Be patient.
You must be very patient at this time,if at anytime.
Afterall everysecond seem's like an hour in the beginning.
I feel alot better this second time and realized that I did drop off a cliff the first time.
I feel like I am 90% fine allready.
I have to realize that I was not feeling perfect before tramadol anyway and that is why I took it.
I am in great shape though,however I had an injury and loved being Superman.
However Tramadol is Just green cryptonite,covered up with a Superman/Supergirl Halloween Costume.
Okay so I was not that bad before it and I am done.
I do not want to jump off any Tramadol Cliff's anymore.
Hah !!!
Peace to all who come here.
I salute your effort's and victory's.
Really.
There is a reason for everything and even this.
It is just like anything that we must overcome in life.
T.U.W.

1066768 tn?1315755925
by TheUltramateWarrior, Nov 17, 2009
Oh and one more thing.
Whoever said that Tramadol is like Speed and Opiate at the same time is 100% correct.
It is exactly like combining Meth/Cocaine and Heroin at high dose's.
It effect's every chemical and receptor that all of those do,however at about half the strength.
However when we double the dose it is very much identical.
So that is why it is worse the coming off one or the other.
It is a three headed Dragon.
Dopamine,Seratonin and Adrenaline and their receptor's/effect's.
But of course Emily and all of the Wise here allready know just about everything right now.
I have learned much here.
It is sad that nobody really know's just how bad Tramadol can be,even the doctor's.
They will find out in the future.
They did only wish to help us all.
Well some of them did.
It is all about money these day's with the entire world.
Money and power.
I am Audi Here.
Peace again.
Oh and yeah I hope that my word's were good to read.
Afterall I remember how good it was to hear the word's of other's here on dark day's,so I wanted to give back for what I had recieved here.
T.U.W.

Avatar universal
by yllopcat, Nov 17, 2009
Hello All Polly here.
I have missed you all..... I read from time to time, but did not have alot of words I have a few today.. I am 2 months and a um..Week and 1/2 away from tramadol. And... Since then my physical-well-being has improved exponecially-and fairly rapidly..The physical is the quickest recovery for me, probably due to the fact that I have run, long distance, soccer, extreme-sports hiking, and on and on. So I know pain. That being said it was every bit as hard for me as anyone here. I have realized I am an addiction jumper. When I started getting better, of course I jumped on getting a new coach. Ran tons of miles in anticipation of my year. On ...ON.. Then... I realized my heart wasnt in it. ( the racing part not the running)
I do have a sponser whod like me to call every day and do a meeting every day and this has been impossible due to my schedule. And... I dont want to. Is that bad? I dont know. She is there for me to guide me when I need it. Thats all I ask.
Also Ive learned, the psychological piece is the B for me. Almost entirely. Im lucky to be the age I am and be healthy to do all the wonderful things I do. I need to spend more time on gratitude. Thats my motto this month.
Im still with my supportive roomies. Good. I have a good support system. But I do have days, where its all I think about.. I went to help a friend move, I went to help my dad pick some puppies. Ive been trying to remeber, ( because Im anti meeting aa and all right now for some reason) and feel bad about it. I go to church and do my bible study..
I get to go to Cali soon, and look forward to it. My boyfriend and I broke up when I was in Iowa, and well. It was tough. How I got through any of that w/o using is grace alone...
I know this part is the psychological part, I think Im going to go to the local Powels books and read up on this stuff.. It may help the stinkin thinkin thing that they talk about. dont let it kreep in.. Not an inch. Dont even try it. It wants you to fail.
The friend I talked to ( my Christian buddy he knows soo many great verses) he said, "Is this problem to big for God?" And it sort of woke me up.. I still spent half of Iowa cying, about my relationship. Grandparents. Feelings are tough for me. They are THE HARDEST PART for many. Because you actually have to sit with uncomfy feelings while you work, while you are with family, on a date, at a movie, making dinner with a spouse.Etc.
These feelings that I have now, are something I am trying to embrace,and this next month is what I am trying to focus on. I will stay where I am for a few months.. I will work on new ways of manageing these emotions. This is the WORK. The physical stinks to high heaven--Its awful!!! No kidding. But when its gone, over, behind you its the consistancy that you need ( I need ) to get in my life, the "what am I going to do when sadness comes" Or when a person passes on. Or when I meet someone new, which I have and am trying to take it reaaallyyy slow.
Its a process and you dont really just arrive, Id been waiting to have this moment of clarity they talk about, I just keep realizing day by day you get your own way of coping going, you begin to look for methods. People to talk to. Different routes. Because YOU ARE WORTH IT>>>..
The hardest thing for me to believe was that I even was worth it. Grace.
Hope everyone is well. Miss all of ya!!
Neway-hang in there.
Howdy Fred.... Are you runnin yet LOL.
The Ultimate Warrior: Thanks!!! For reminding me how much our words may help someone as they did us.
Polly.....

Avatar universal
by yllopcat, Nov 17, 2009
Newway..
A note.
GOOD for you handing them over. So what if you had to do it this way.. Good for you, we broke up!! U rock!! Hang in there.
Im very proud of you, it seems slow but trust me it gets better. And you didnt get defensive and argue you gave them up!!
Gooooood job...

Avatar universal
by Overcast, Nov 17, 2009
Well, recent posts - so maybe this is a good spot :)

I read a lot of your stories about getting off of Tramadol. I recently started - about 90 days ago on this.
For the last 7-8 years, I've dealt with "Hidradenitis Suppurativa" - it's a nasty little skin disease, that causes horrible amounts of pain.

So... I've dealt with the pain all in all for those 7-8 years. With the occasional 'respite' after working hours - self-mediating with a bit of pot. I avoided using alcohol for pain killing - I knew how addictive it can be.

I wanted to get away from the pot; primarily because of the 'legalities' surrounding it. Otherwise; it doesn't really bother you much. That was an easy habit to kick - it's kind of like an addiction to Soft Drinks or Chocolate. It's irritating the first few days and you miss it from time to time, but it otherwise doesn't "change your life".

So; after 14/15+ years of pot smoking and dealing with the 'black market' so to speak - seeing lots of addicts on different stuff.. dealing with shady folks. My pot 'addiction' - I know the basics of what addiction can be like and all. I've came close to being an alcoholic a few times - always would start drinking because I quit pot and then start pot to quit drinking - back and forth... Then I get on Tramadol - and kick both pot and drinking..

So 90 days into my Tramadol prescription and I find myself taking it - when I don't really need to. Taking more than I should on the weekends... I start to feel this very light - but present 'coaxing' - I guess you could call it - to take one.

What really 'clicked' with me here was the Anxiety mentioned.. this last weekend, I had an unusual (for me) experience with anxiety. I've never really had anxiety - just to have it... I thought - well, maybe it was just 'whatever' reason - getting older etc... not really thinking about it - maybe half an hour later, I pop a Tramadol - and I don't recall any anxiety after that. Interesting indeed, now that I think back on that experience.

I skipped a day of taking this stuff about 2 weeks ago - and 'felt odd' - kinda felt that 'burn' or 'itching' for something, but couldn't put my finger on it - even when I take the stuff, I get an 'itching' for something...

I think - from your posts and all - I know what's going on now.... Sure, it's not been long, but I'm guessing this is the infancy stages of an addiction. Call me crazy - but I know me - and I'm very cautious of things 'taking control' of me. It's why I would bounce between Booze and Pot - neither really ever 'got a hold'.

I'm not sure how to approach this now, but I know I can't take this long-term. I'm not sure what I'll do long-term - maybe move somewhere pot is legal, LOL. It has it's downsides, sure - but it won't get you hooked as bad as most of these pills can.

My in-laws are addicted to other stuff - I know that. They *won't even hear me* when I say - well, 'prove to yourself you don't have a problem' - and quit for a few days. Heck, just 48 hours.

I have some need to do that. And call me nutty, but I read your 'realization' about seeing pills in a movie and thinking "it's poison" - and yeah, so much is poison now... But I think that's God - In my humble opinion - and I think that's what keeps me vigilant of how many steps I take down these various paths.

See.. I have a very addictive personality, I realize that.. . So I have to be careful - and I thank God for pointing that out to me, heh.

Anyway - thanks so much for your posts; it most certainly has helped me head this potential problem off early...


Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 17, 2009
Thanks pharma and inspiring for the Nyquil advice.  Something for the Mister and me to consider I think.  I think I'll get the Nyquil cough version for Hub - since he doesn't need the tylenol in it - the other two ingredients are the same as pharma recommended.  I will need to find the alcohol/sugar free version of these 2 ingredients as I got severely sick from the original version of Nyquil because of my gastric bypass.  Yikes, I was nearly begging for a bullet that night.  Too much sugar in it and I get a severe insulin reaction from it due to my shortened intestines.  I can get doxylamine and dextromethorphan in tablet/gelcap form...pharma....do you think that will be as effective as the original liquid?  Maybe the alcohol in the liquid aids sleep as well... I'd just like to get off the trazadone eventually.

In any event...hopefully both of us tram addicts in our house will be sleeping decently soon.  I hope for that for all of us!  

Tram....the thief of the night....the *******.

-Lori

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 17, 2009
The stars above are....starting with a B and ending with a D and there is an       a s t a r       in between!  There you go mr. censor...

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by booba77, Nov 17, 2009
What is it with the censoring?  I have used words that are not vulgar and it censors me.  It *****.  i bet it censored that one too.....lol.  

Avatar universal
by ReneR2004, Nov 17, 2009
Hello, I'm a 55 year old on tramadol for severe degenerative arthritis. I had gotten my Rx from a cheeper pharmacy to try and save money, and found it wasn't working as well as the higher price brand. So I started taking three pills instead of the prescribed 2 pills 3 times a day.  I did this straight for about 2 months then just this past Wednesday I starting feeling funny, shallow breathing, clammy skin and then it hit me about the tramadol and I looked it up and then realizied that I had unknowingly overdosed myself!! I stopped taking the pills Saturday.
I'm feeling much better, just a few withdrawal systems.
What I would like to know is does anyone have any idea how long it takes for the tramadol to get out of your system?

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 17, 2009
Lori..I am not sure if the gelcaps will work as well as liquid nyquil because I think that small amount of alcohol helps as well.I still have half a bottle sitting in the cupboard and  do not feel a compulsion to take it.Lack of sleep is the biggest problem for everyone,even more than the rebound pain and I feel anything that will help is appreciated.Sleep helps us to regenerate for the day ahead and escape the symptoms for a few hours.Everyone healed better after a half decent night's sleep.There is not thatmuch sugar in it as well.Some corn syrup,but not too bad.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 17, 2009
PS Lori .I stress the decongestant free one is better because the decongestant acts like adrenalin and keeps you up and raises blood pressure

1090333 tn?1264512093
by GreatWhite, Nov 17, 2009
Rene-depends how long you were taking them and how many. I would say for most people the worst of the physical withdrawals stop after about day 5 or 6. takes a while for nerves, and receptors to return back to normal but didnt sound like you took that many for that long. So i would estimate prob about a week or 10 days to leave ur system completely and you returning to feeling "normal" again.

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by gerty411411, Nov 17, 2009
Here "we" go again, it's 11:30p.m. and I'm wired for sound and can't get back to sleep.  I swear I feel like I'm on speed.
I don't remember being like this the last time I tapered.  I took some benadryl which made me a little speepy slept for 1/12 hour.  This the end of my second t-free day.

Do you all think I'll just keep going till my body crashes. Is it normal to be so manic?  I got pulled over for speeding this am.  I normally use some restraint while driving but whenI got behind the wheel I felt like I was on the autoban Or at least like the transporter.

I guess I'll read.



Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 18, 2009
Gerty...MANIC is the exact word I used to describe myself on several nights. I had several of those evenings and nights. I, too, read and I watched movies ALOT!!!! I had been doing fairly well with sleeping but tonight I am wide open. It is almost 1AM and I do not feel like I couldn't rest right now to save my life. I am almost a month tram free and I have had so so so many ups and downs, but as the days go by I am having more ups..It does get better believe it or not...
I am a believer in valerian root for sleep. I know different things work for different people, but it really helped me sleep. I was thinking about taking some now but I have to get up at 5AM and I don't know if it would make me more groggy than I am already going to be anyway. I feel like I jinxed myself by saying how well I had been sleeping. Oh well..this too shall pass. Just another little hurdle to get over on our path the tram freedom.
Just remember everyone..it gets better. It really does.
I am going to try this sleep thing again. I think Nip/tuck is on..Maybe some eye candy will put me to sleep. LOL!
Night Guys...Stay strong and don't give up!

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by gerty411411, Nov 18, 2009
Well, another night of  "Rocking-Socking Robots(RSR)" !  I finally got to sleep at around 3AM..  At least no wierd dreams.
Notsosunny, I do have valerian root form my first attempt at stopping t.  It is packaged as a liquid and it is nasty.
Do you mix it with water?  Any way to makle it more palatable?

On call tonight,  At least I won't have to be worried about being wakened up. With my luck either I will be able to actually sleep and get wakened up or I'll have another round of  RSR and  be destined to prowl around the house for another night.

The best thing of all is I had a most excellent BM this AM.  It just doesn't get any better!!!

Warriors, I seriously hope you all have a good day.

Love, Gerty



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by GreatWhite, Nov 18, 2009
BM?? Band Mate? Bed Mate? Broken Mouse? Beast Master? ...Im confused

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 18, 2009
BM...bowel movement.I informed another doctor in town about the dangers of tramadol when I had to tell him about a contraindication with an antidepressant.I told him about the tolerance effect and the antidepressant effect of tramadol and he said to me..."get out"..not nastily but in disbelief.."I went to a seminar where they said it was safe and a mild opiate"He decreased the quantity prescribed and said he would monitor the patient.I also warned the patient to only stay within the prescribed dose and if the pain was not relieved at that dose to call the doctor.I felt mean because I felt like I was taking away something good that would help the patient.I warn everyone about the danger of this drug.I personally think it is worse than Tylenol 3..A lot of my day is spent helping customers with otc pain relief for chronic pain who cannot take narcotics for various reasons.

Avatar universal
by newway, Nov 18, 2009
See I was thinking Brand Muffin
but  I like Bed mate much better - if you can't sleep you might as well use the energy!!!  
For Gerty's sake I'm hoping it is bed mate!! lol
To hell with sleep!

Hang in there Gerty - the manic thing drives me crazy - because, at least for me it is not useable energy - I am so wired I can't concentrate.  

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 18, 2009
Gerty, I have the valerian capsules and I have several boxes of the valerian tea. It is putrid for sure. My husband and kids get angry at the smell..LOL..I take 1 capsule and drink a cup of tea. The tea really isn't so bad. I sometimes add a little honey to it...Unless I am in a manic state and then I just down it as quickly as possible. I got the tea at GNC and I got several boxes because they had it on clearance. It was like $2-$4 depending on the brand so I got 4 boxes of it..I am stocked up.
I, too, got to sleep about 3AM. I got up at 5:15AM with no problems but now I am sleepy but it is career day at my little one's school so I am going to watch my husband's presentation to her class. That is why I had to get up so early. I had to help him with the final touches and make gift bags for the kids. I want to go back to sleep so bad but I can't now. I am envious about the BM..LOL...I have the opposite problem from most everyone else...I CAN'T GO. I had a couple days last week when I was feeling under the weather that I had to take Immodium but now I am back to not being able to go. This has been a long battle for me with constipation. I think I have totally messed my body up. My tummy is hard and bloated. Just miserable. I have a doctors appointment on December 16th to discuss this. For over a decade I have made excuses for my bowel issues. I knew pain pills made you constipated so I just lived on stool softeners. Now I know I have real issues with it that aren't related to the pills. It is scary. Well, I have lots to do and no energy to do it so I better go get a hot bath to try to motivate myself. I am needed today and I have to pull myself together. Everyone have a good day and HANG IN THERE...I sure am trying to! :)

Loves & Hugs to All!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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by GreatWhite, Nov 18, 2009
Notsosunny, honey is sugar, and that sugar is prob contributing to you not getting to sleep. Just drink the tea plain as i do and it will make u drowsy enough. Smells like a diaper, but doesnt taste that bad actually.

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 18, 2009
You are right GreatWhite...The smell is horrid. I usually drink the tea plain. Yeah, it actually doesn't taste bad at all. Sometimes I add honey/lemon, but I will take into consideration your advice and steer clear of it. See if that helps. I am soooooooooo sleepy right now and I am about to have to go back to the school and function with 1st graders. Hubby said all I have to do is take pictures so that shouldn't be too difficult. If I could only be this tired at night. Awww, that would be great. When I get home I am crashing. I hate to do it and possibly mess up tonight for me, but I am so sleepy. I am dragging my butt. One more cup of coffee and off to the school...Wish me luck! :)

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by booba77, Nov 18, 2009
I slept good last night thanks to Melissa, which is an OTC sleep aid.  hard to find and high as hell, biut it worked, so i feel better.  BM~come on people of course it is bowel movement....lol.  Hope everyone is plugging along and feeling good.

Avatar universal
by notsosunny, Nov 18, 2009
Back from the school and OMG THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN! See, I was dreading it and didn't want to go and I ended up having a blast. I took about 70 pics and my Husband rocked at his presentation. He did a treasure hunt, a speech and made hats out out of construction paper with the class!!! I think he missed his calling..he should have been a teacher. He did such a great job. I didn't just take pictures I got down there with the kids and helped with everything. It was really fun. See...That is the stuff I just wouldn't have even participated in had I been trammed up. I am not even sleepy anymore. My daughter and I walked down to the school and then we walked home and I think that pumped me up as well. I feel good right now and I am going to enjoy it! :) Everyone have a great and blessed day! ~xoxoxoxo

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by me1414, Nov 18, 2009
Hello All,
So day 10 was a bust for me. I felt like I was wading thru a pool all day. Didn't manage to get much done. I'm glad it's over. Day 11, started out ok. Worked out, did a few things around the house and took a nap. I woke up cranky and just feeling agitation and axiety. Debating on taking the buspar that the doc gave me. I just dont like taking things like that. I dont want to yell at the kids and be mean but I dont know what else to do. I cant yell at the kids for the next 5 hours. What to do what to do?

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by madtram, Nov 18, 2009
Me, buspar can be effective but is heavy duty.  If you would like to try an alternative that has been tested as safe in double blind medical studies & with no side effects for most people, high dose Inositol, (a b group vitamin), has been found to work as well as prescription anti-anxiolytics.

You need to take doses of 7 grams to establish effectiveness at the start but may be able to drop down from there if it works for you.  I had zero anxiety after I started it after tramadol withdrawal.

Avatar universal
by hanginin, Nov 18, 2009
Good evening everyone.  Nososunny. We have reached 28 days.  Wow. I am so glad that I got off the trams. Its amazing how much fun everything is to do when you aren't paranoid or fogged up.  Everyone keep fighting and just remember it will get better every day.
Hanginin

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 18, 2009
Good evening all,

Well I went to my Dr appt today for a migraine followup - she gave me a stronger BC pill to try.  Hopefully that will help the night sweats, and take the edge off the migraines...and stop the bleeding...(sorry guys)  I told her that the headaches are better (which they are) and I've had no anxiety attacks....she doesn't know about the tram train I've been on and I don't plan on fessing up to that.  Since Tram was never officially prescribed to me, I'm leaving that smelly dog lie where it is.  I don't want that in my permanent medical record.

I tried my new sleeping concoction last night.  2 dextromethorphan capsules of 15mg each and one Unisom 25mg (doxylamine succinate.)  This is my version of pharma's Nyquil suggestion.  I think it worked as well if not better than the trazadone I've been taking.  I remember waking up once - but overalll I think I slept more soundly.  I'll give it another go tonight - the Mister didn't use his "real thing" yet - he's waiting for Friday night in case it doesn't work for him and he's up prowling on a "school" night.

Well - I'm sleepy already and haven't even popped anything yet.  Hope everyone gets some rest tonight.  We all need it!

-Lori

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 18, 2009
aloha to all,  Sounds like everyone is doing well  YES!!!  Just popped in to say Hi - had an outrageous busy day at work and I am TIRED, thank God I am sleeping well again.  Hang in there everyone, best wishes to all

Booba So glad you got some good sleep you DESERVE it girl, you have been so brave and I have been praying for you

Notsosunny  SO glad you enjoyed your school daze - without the haze   WAY to GO!!!

Avatar universal
by newway, Nov 18, 2009
On the taper - my sleep is all mixed up - some days I can sleep and then other days I have energy and am all twitchy and anxious up and prowling around all night.
I know I am still throwing benzo's into the mix (at night for sleep)so - it is unlikely to make any sense until I am tram and benzo free.

I tried taking the 100mg Extended release tramadol today - thinking a slow steady release might help fend off withdrawl and make it possible to take one less of the 50 mg.  It worked in a way - no major jitters, headaches etc - but I don't know - I was exhausted all day.
Any one else have any experience with the extended release?



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by gerty411411, Nov 19, 2009
Hi Y'all,

I slept from 10p to 130A.  I feel blessed for that little respite. I took valerian and some type of herbal remedy I bought at rite aid.  Now I just had a little snack, will read a bit a try to get back to sleep untill the alram goes off at 530a.

The herbal remedy is by Hylands homeopathic and contains hyoscyamus niger, ignatia amara and kali phosphoricum.

I also purchased nyquil per pharmas recommendatio.  I didn't want to take it tonight as I am on ER call and was afraid it would make me too groggy.  I'll try it tonight.

Go warriors!
The traminator will not prevail!!!

Gerty

Avatar universal
by Hobbum, Nov 19, 2009
I've been using tramadol for years.  I am up to 20,  50mg  a day.  Have not let myself withdraw from them so I do not yet know of the torture you all say is imminent if I decide to do this.  CT sounds like asking   "why not jump into Dante's Inferno?  You only have to stay  for 5-7 days then it will all be fine.  Tra-la."

Ironically, I started tramadol so I could get off the "narcotics".  I was on hydorcodone for yrs following back surgery and got fed up with it.  Back then, docs didn't know sh*t about tram.  So it turns out I was actually using a more highly addictive drug to get off an addictive drug.  Although I take a gram a day, I have been lucky.  My body still functions without much grief.  Except for the grief that time and gravity gives us all over 50.  (Time and gravity, what a hellish combination.)  I do have tinnitis that seems to have started with the tram but I'm not sure if there is a connection.

The only other medication I take is Celexa .  I have been on 20mg for almost ten years.  It actually changed my life.  It brought me out of the cave.  I didn't know how depressed I was until it went away.  I have heard that tram alters seritonin levels and that taken with SSRI's can be dangerous.  Again, I have had no noticeable ill effects from it.

I know everyone is different and bodies do not come with a decoder ring.  They just do what ever the hell they do.  No two bodies have the same effects from the same cause.  But in general,   what is the longest any of you been on this medication before deciding to stop?  What made you decide?  Money, illness, massive organ damage?  Is it because they try to tell us we can't stop so we say "screw that, just watch me!"  What ever it is, it must be pretty bad to make one jump in front of the wd bus.  

I'd like to hear what led to the decision.  Tell me some stories.
Thanks for letting me babble.
KC

Avatar universal
by FinallyFred, Nov 19, 2009
Hello Tramadol Warriors!  

I am still around, watching your progress, and wishing each of you the successes that I KNOW are possible.  I have been very busy of late, but I keep checking in on you, my tramadol friends, and it appears that the support level is flowing nicely.  Newcomers, welcome to what I like to call the house of pain.  But that "house of pain" can offer each one hope that what has been impossible in each of our pasts, is RIGHT NOW possible.  

As I recall, my initial post was not so much different than anyone else's.   Just dipped a toe into the uncharted water they call recovery.   I recall declaring that "this place just COULD save my life.   And honestly it has.

It's hard for me to believe that a year ago next week I found this place and began what I still consider to be the hardest, most important battle of my entire life.   I just finished a 6 day court trial this past week and THAT battle was nothing compared to THIS fight.   This stuff is the IMPORTANT stuff that matters.

Nope, nothing in my (fairly long) life compares to THIS hardest, most important battle of my entire life.

Kitteh talk:   I mention this if only to demonstrate that life returns to normal one day after defeating the tram.   I will write again soon on the tram-a-fight, but this morning, I am SO excited to report that we have adopted two darling kittens.  Adoreable black and white tuxedo sisters, 5-6 months old.    They weren't the cats I had seen on "pet finders", but when I went to a foster home north of Seattle on Monday to check out the one's I thought we would want, I found these two darlings instead.    Affectionate, loving irresistable "lap cat" companions.

Here's the bizzare thing I hadn't realized when we brought them home...they were born on the EXACT day that our adoreable Kiggy passed away  on 05/29/09.  I was just reading their medical records this morning and discovered this surprise.  Some of you recall my abiding grief after the loss of our darling Kiggy cat.  I will always miss that girl.  But unbeknownst to us, as fate would have it, on the day she died, these two darling kittens were born.   Something about one door closing and another door opening comes to mind.

Faith means believing in yet unseen results today.  I am not terribly good at the "faith thing" to be honest.   But some how, just under a year ago, I  experienced a moment of clarity and found a TINY amount of faith to believe that I no longer had to be controlled by the T.  

And that faith kept me surprisingly focused in the MOMENT.  Putting aside the aches and RLS and insomnia and all the other flu like symptoms that many of you are feeling today for just one moment.    Deciding to suffer a temporary array of symptoms in order to string together enough moments to turn into ONE day.  As much as possible, trying to let go of the "what ifs" and "when will I's" for just one moment.  And to my surprise, one day turned into the next.   And before long, those acute symptoms subsided.  And then one day "weeks and weeks" down the road, you realize that this horrible chapter of your life has been turned into normality again.   Left at last to deal with life on life's terms.  

But friends, even though life isn't always easy, it AT LEAST gives you a fighting chance at life.  

There is something GRAND about seeing new doors opening as the old ones close.   Adopting our tuxedo girrls this week reminded me that sometimes...surprises are not all bad.  Some times, life has surprises in store for us that we cannot even fathom as being possible.   That we do not even know of as yet.

Sometimes, when we least expect it, good things come our way as if by unmerited devine favor.   I believe they call that GRACE.

Keep fighting the good fight. THIS fight IS THE most important, hardest fight of your life. But it will be SO worth it.

If you must think of tomorrow...EXPECT good surprises around the corner.   Yesterday is gone.   Tomorrow may never come. All we really have is the present.   That's why they call this present moment A GIFT.

You'll see.  I believe in you.

Courage, Strength and LOVE to you all,

fred

Avatar universal
by FinallyFred, Nov 19, 2009
Hello KC from Alaska and welcome to our world!  

You asked, "what led to the decision.  Tell me some stories ".   I would suggest that you click on my icon and go to my profile page.  Scroll down to "see all" journal entires.   I tried to collect many of my initial thoughts there for people who inquired later...like you.

Here's the thing I have discovered.  Nobody arrives at this site by googling, "my well managed, happy tramadol life".   I am fairly sure that most of us arrived her by googling something like "tramadol withdrawal", etc.  Weclome.

You are so right, each of us decided to stop the tram-a-go-round for a variety of reasons. Some here had been keeping a secret from their spouse.  Others have had siezures and knew the the gig was up. Others got tired of spending money they didn't have on a drug they no longer wanted to be controlled by.

You said that you have been taking trams for years are that you are up to 20 pills/day.   I assume then, that you are buying online?  Cause the maximum "safe" daily dose most docs will prescribe is 400 mg/day.   I was taking an average of 400 mg/day of this drug for SIX years.

I was prescribed this "safe, non-habit forming synthetic opiate" after hip replacement.  an alternative to the REAL opiates that you mentioned.   I started out taking 1-2 pils per day.  for the last several years, 400 mg/day was not enough.   I was in nearly constant withdrawal those last years.  

Here's my quick theory on tramadol dependancy/addiction.

Over time, we build up a tolerance to this drug, so that more and more of it is needed just to make us feel NOT UNWELL.

Our choices over time are simple: (1) stay on the M.D. prescribed dose as I did, and suffer horribly most of the time while on the drug, (2) increase our daily dose, as you apparently have done, by ordering the drug on line.   The necessary dose to make us feel LESS UNWELL progressivly  increases over time.   FYI, people here have testified to taking 50 pills/day or more, and 20/day is not uncommon at all.  All you have tried to do is to feel less unwell, right?   But this drug is not safe at ANY dose, let alone at 1,000. mg/day.  Seizers can do DO occurr.   At least one mothe came he to tell us that she had been on a high dose and hada seizer with her children in the car. Not good.   And the bad news is that if you are at 20 pills/day today, you will be at 30 next year, and so on.  It's not your fault.  It's a chemistry thing known as tolerance.  Doctors don't tell you about this.  (3) stop with the drug.

Why did I decide to stop taking the drug CT?   The short answer is that I had gotten tired of suffering nearly constant withdrawal symptoms from this drug while ON it.   Apparently, I wasn't smart enough to realize that people could order this drug online.  

I had my 21 day cycle with my RX date circled on my calender months in advance.   By the time RX day arrived, I had gone through several days of acute withdrawal.   On RX day, I woulddrop whatevr I was in the middle of to run down to pick up my next 21 days supply.  Except that during those first days of every cycle, I was tired of feeling unwell, so I took 10-14 pills those initla days.   Knowing I would not feel unwell on 400 mgs/day, and knowing that I would even feel worse when those last 5-6 days rolled aaround and I had 2 pills/day left.   Having ALL of the classic withdrawal symptoms those last 5-6 days of every cycle.

Your description of jumping into Dante's Inferno wasn't too far from the truth.  But speaking only for myself, I came to the point of knowing that I would prefer to go through 5-6 days of Dante's Inferno in order that I would never again need to suffer the regular withdrawal symptoms ever again.   I took a calculated risk that what others had achieved at the time was POSSIBLE for me too.  If I declared an all out WAR with this drug for a week.

Your reason for quitting will be of course different.  There are all kinds of folks here.  Keep coming back and eventually, you will hear someone else tell your story. As though you could have written it yourself from the start.  That's identification in the raw.

Would I do it all over again today? Hell yeah.  In an instant.   Keep dropping by and good luck.

It's really no big deal though.  It's just a matter of life or death.

fred  

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 19, 2009
Welcome Hobbum,

I did exactly as Fred said.  I googled tramadol withdrawal and found myself here.  What led me to do that was finally figuring out that being on the tram train was causing or aggravating my pain - specifically migraines.  I had a panic/anxiety attack in the middle of the night back in Oct. and thought....ok, something has to give.  I'm either going nuts, or it's the tram.  My rational, intelligent self said "duh, stupid...it's the damned drug you're popping for no reason anymore except to feel less unwell.  You're a doper...."  Time to hitch my wagon to a different horse.  

This site has been invaluable for me to get ideas on getting better for both me and my husband ...who has legitimate chronic pain issues.  We just have to figure out what will work for his creaky knees other than Tram.  Once I jump off and quit - never again.  This withdrawal is worse to me than quitting smoking, and that's pretty miserable.  But it can be done.

Hang out with us for awhile and see what's what.

-Lori

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 19, 2009
Before I forget...Notsosunny....I have a poop suggestion for you.  MIRALAX!!!!  It's over the counter now and can be used daily if necessary.  It saved my life I swear.  Since my bypass, I've had poop issues and this is the only thing that has worked well for me.  It's not thick or icky and won't give you gas.  It's not a stimulant, it just brings more fluid to the colon and gets things moving.  Might be worth a try for you.  I know your pain in the poopie dept.  Yuck.

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 19, 2009
Newway- I used the Ultram ER for awhile when tapering.  I found the same thing.  I was tired.  It was fine though.  I think why it's harder for us is because the ER doesn't bring the same feeling as the IR pills.  I don't know if you take ER in excess, maybe, but at the same dose, for me, it was a different and unremarkable feeling.  That's when I finally stopped.  I never really got past 150mg on my taper.  I was okay after that.  It didn't take long for me to feel better.  

Just watch out for depression about a week later.  I had to up my AD.  Now, I have begun a taper off it.  We'll see how that goes. :)

Jenny

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by booba77, Nov 19, 2009
Morning all.  Hello newcomers.  I was up to 20  a day and quit once i hit financial ruin from ordering online and found this wonderful place.  i would taper awhile before jumping off the trams if u can.  the WD are horrid at such a high dose.  3 weeks today since my last tram.....I am celebrating tomorrow night with a date night with my man.....goin to see New Moon and am soooooo excited.  feeling pretty damn good tiday, but the insomnia is still horrid.  have a good thursday.

Avatar universal
by DeeTram, Nov 19, 2009
Newway - JG525   MrDeeTram used the Extended Release (bought online) his last 5 mos. on Tram. He said he didn't get the "buzz" from them. No buzz = no fun. Time to get off. He says the ER really helped the tapering process.  He's been on depression med for 2 yrs. After I read suggestions on here, he started taking a little more of his depression med. before bedtime for 3 nights. This helped his attitude & got rid of morning headaches. He's doing great. Pushing to keep busy during the day. Fatigued late afternoon but pushing himself to stay up later everyday. He was able to stay up til 9 pm last night!  :)

Even though there are some sad stories on here, there does seem to be more and more good news on here lately. YEAH!
Take Care Tram Warriors.

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by GreatWhite, Nov 19, 2009
goodmoooornnning Vietnam!!! Oops i mean America and Canada and all other places you fine people are from! I feel good today, hopefully my energy will keep up because I have class after work and then going to the gym after that. So wont be home until 8 or 9pm tonight after leaving at 630am. wheew is it friday yet? Hope everyone's withdrawals, tapering, and symptoms are subsiding and we can all move on with our lives. Keep up the good fight everyone and keep smiling.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 19, 2009
Great..I feel good too.In fact I feel so normal I almost feel guilty posting......but I will anyways.It has been over 2 months since I touched any opiates and do not feel deprived in any way at all.Keeping up with the vitamins and still need extrastrenth tylenols but not at the max daily dose.Do not need any sleep aids at all and sleeping great.No complaints here.I am so happy to see that everyone is coming along with their healing and am off to see my mother at a nursing home and then to work.Had my bloodwork done and everything is tickety-boo.Love to all.

Avatar universal
by Hobbum, Nov 19, 2009
Thanks for your input folks.  I think I'll take some good advice and not CT from 24 pills a day to zip.  I've been on the same dose for two years.  My body will be highly pissed it I pull the rug suddenly.  I usually take six at a pop.  I feel so normal on them that I forget to take them and then I start yawning if it has been over six hrs between doses.  Is that normal?  The worse I ever felt is when I did not take any one night (not on purpose I just didn't think about it)  and went to bed.  The next morning I felt like I had a hangover.  My hangovers were far worse than death.  

Yes I was a drunk the first part of my misspent youth.  From ages 13 to 28.  The 70's are just a blur.   I had such a awesome success story with the alcohol that I felt impervious to anything addictive.  Then I get in a car accident 20yrs
later.  I thought getting off the controlled substances like the "codones" with the trams was another success story.  Well then ****, isn't this another revolting development...               ?

I took one less before bed last night.  Slept for six hrs.  Woke up a tad "creepy" so I know my bod was saying WTF? but all in all it was ok.   So maybe I'll try it again.  I'll take one less pill a day and see how it goes.  I admit I am terrified of wd after reading the hellish experiences of other folks.  But fear, like everything else is of the mind.  One thing I have learned in this lifetime is that I am not my body.  It is just this meat suit I chose to wear.  Like my car, my body does what my mind tells it to.  In and of itself, the body is as neutral as any other machine.  So that said, my fear of withdrawal will be met at its source.  My mind.  I will watch my fear thoughts and release them one by one.  This is how I learned to control panic attacks.  One thought at a time.  Fear begets fear.  I'll  just stop feeding the fire.
I'm glad this forum is here.  Writing this stuff down is very helpful to me.
In gratitude,  Hob.

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 19, 2009
It's great you came back Hob.  I love your writing style...and your use of meat suit...how true.  I lurked on this site for nearly a month before I got the guts to admit to myself that I needed to post.  Talk about denial.  I know I'm hooked, but didn't want to put it in writing.  

Smart move that you're not jumping off cold turkey from that high a dose.  I'd ease it down a bit before taking the leap.  Plus you can mentally prepare and load up your vitamin supply, Immodium in case you get a bad case of tram tummy, and anything else the good folks here can recommend.  Be prepared for sleep trouble.  Pharma9 and others have had great suggestions for that.

Hang on - it's a bumpy ride, but don't worry, we won't throw you out of the wagon.

-Lori

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by booba77, Nov 19, 2009
Hob~I was up to 20~25 per day, so I feel your pain.  I tapered to 11 a day quickly before I jumped amd was sick for a long time with horrible WD. still feel rough, but i am much better.  just exhausted and have loose stools.

Avatar universal
by yllopcat, Nov 19, 2009
Howdy.
Polly here.
Just checking in, good job everyone!! I was reading some posts and realize the "process" is really what we all need support, strength and information for. I am having a tough week, I am not sure but I think talking with an ex consistently may be a negative boundary issue for me. He "loves" to talk. I really for the first time yesterday didnt " feel" the same about him. These emotions,  ( and I read someone say)-- on here, that "where did all these emotions go before?" and it was scary.. When we were on the stuff, those emotions were like....Well for me almost non-existent. I was all mellow-jello about changes, etc. Now Its a "GRADUAL" very--gradual growth process. At least I know its real. REAL 100% instead of, medicated. It was sad when I was speaking with someone, and actually started to wonder if I was medicated when I decided to help him for two years, and my ex truely gives chip on your shoulder a new name!!! He is, was very needy. ALL ABOOUT HIM.
I am not sure if I was truely "in love" with him. I may have actually had a pseudo-medicated relationship.
Its scary to think I nearly lost other friends due to his possesiveness, controlling behaviors, and also the idea that I would medicate to "stay calm" while doing things "he" always wanted, and he had a HARD, Hard, time doing things withme or my family. He did them, but there was a price to pay. I think I had some bitterness and some real incompatability issues I was ignoring because he was so "good" on paper. I wanted a relationship thaT LOOKED A CERTAIN WAY.
I am just venting, the emotions of dealing with things after 2 months off it. I did have a couple -relapses with what I felt ( from my dr. ) was unnccesary anxiety meds. Which I took anyway, I excused it due to my low mood, w/d and sadness over confusing, exs-my ex-husband who helped me with detox. My ex who thinks I need to be all about his life, and I cant possibly need anything from him. And a horrible break up. I am struggling with the management of the emotional stuff now.
Physical first. I am continually brainstorming about my relationships. I seem to have [people in my life, who "badger" me into ideas I am not ready for. I attract these types.
I guess I need ( like many to figure out how to --accept progress not perfection. I have been beating myself up this week alot.
Great job, everyone!!! I have my first REAL--race, ( 5k) coming up. First one since my taper. I was too fatigued, and down to even consider it before.
But time heals, slowly. I think the timing of the break-up and meeting someone new. etc. etc. Baffles me. I sometimes wonder about life, and its tests... I am going to have to learn brutal honesty to, and try to be consistent. This is the only way I get stronger.
I think sometimes, I want to just get back together with my ex-husband and call it a day, even tho Im not feeling it.. Just so I dont have to go through all the In and out of love things. Yeah, I know its cheating the system. But how do you know if you will even survive the emotions.... They sure can seem strong. Good or bad..
Polly
Cheers....

Avatar universal
by FinallyFred, Nov 19, 2009
Hob,  It sounds like you have begun a taper.  My suggestion would be if that is the route you intend to go, take it slowly.   My idea of a  gradual taper isn't dropping a pill every day for 24 days and expecting that you won't feel lousy.  If you want to give a taper a fighting chance, consider reducing by a pill a day about every week.   It will be slow, but more manageable.  The majority of people who begin with a gradual taper eventually get anxious to stop entirely at some point (as Booba just shared) and eventually jump off and go cold turkey at some point anyway.  Booba's experience is classic.

Not everyone is capable of a gradual taper.  I wasn't.  I stood no more chance of being succesful with a controlled taper than I would walking into a bar and ordering ONE drink.   See, I constantly was borrowing tomorrow's pills today.   I was always saying, "tomorrow I will do better".  Except that for people like me...tomorrow never turns out any better than today did.  Make sense?

If you have decided on a slow taper, do make it gradual.  And write down a schedule for yourself.   Make a religion out of it. LOL.   Before too many weeks go by, you will know soon enough how the taper is working for you.   And I do think, that IF you can stay on track with a taper, it will be easier for you. But dropping a pill every day isn't what I would consider to be a slow gradual taper.

As far as I know, this forum is the longest running thread on the Internet of ALL TRAM, 24/7.   As i said before, nobody arrives here by googling "my wonderful life".   So settle in and enjoy the company.   With a few exceptions, the people here all GET what you must be feeling now. AQnd you will see that this is a "no judgment zone".   Not everyone makes it on our first try.  But we'll still hopefully always be here to support, identify with, and encourage anyone who has a desire to stop using tramadol.  

You asked yesterday about why people stopped.   Many affects of the drug may not be fully known to us initially. Sometimes we become tired of seeing our lives pass by while we are zoned out.  Lacking normal affctions and  emotions. Tired of walking into a room and forgetting why we went there.  Tired of scraping the dishes into the garbage after a meal and one day realizing we had regularly scraped the forks out with the scraps of food. Where did all those forks go?   Tired of wrecklessly barely making it through life while in the fog of tramadol - escaping things like making left turns in front of oncoming traffic.  Tired of starring out a window and not hearing someone else in the room attempting to get our attention.  Tired of being a dispassionate person and an emotional zombie.   Relationship wrecking stuff that only afterward we discover we had been oblivious to.   Life is finite.   It's nice to know we are actually alive.

There is life after tramadol.   Good luck.  fred

Avatar universal
by FinallyFred, Nov 19, 2009
Hello Polly. You laid down a nice stream of consciousness there.  As anyone who has posted here a while knows, one of the greatest benefits of posting to my unseen friends here is that doing so often helps me collect my own thoughts.   Like the diary that SOMETIMES talks back.  fred

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by booba77, Nov 19, 2009
I feel you Polly.  I cannot relate to the ex stuff, but I have been a zombie mother for the past 2 years and am now realizing how rotten my child has become because of it. I would tell him to ease up and that you have a life too.  Be alone for awhile, get to know yourself without trams again.  i have been with the same man over 14 years and we have a beautiful child together but we still arent married.  Dont rush things. and let someone be there for you for a change.  goodluck on the 5K.  I must be the fattest tub of lard on this thread.  I want to excercise and feel better, but I work full time and have a 4 year old and just cannot muster up the time or energy to do it.  everyone on here says it helps, bit how do I find time to do it?  I can barely get dinner ready and clean my house.  ~ leave at 7:30 am and get home at 6:45 pm.  wish i could work from.  anyone know anything about becoming a technical writer? I have a degree in English totally wasting away........I would love to work from home, even if just part time.


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by booba77, Nov 19, 2009
Work from home, not work from.  And don't I sound like a rambling moron. Just think, this is my personality totally clean and sober.  Scary, scary..........

Avatar universal
by JG525, Nov 19, 2009
I'm a bum too booba and not thin.  I have friends that are technical writers, but they are technical writers in technical fields- IT.  I wanted to write manuals and do that sort of tech writing, but not sure how you do it!

Avatar universal
by Hobbum, Nov 19, 2009
Thanks for sharing your experiences with this drug, Fred.  I can't relate to the emotionless state.  If anything, I feel too deeply if that is possible.  My anger is quick to rise but is also much easier to diffuse now that I'm older and am more forgiving of myself.  Did you know that guilt makes you angrier?  That's because anger feels a million times better than guilt so it is only rational to choose it.  By forgiving myself, I never again need to make that choice.  As far as the other emotions, they are all present.  Sadness can be overwhelming at times.  Laughter and a genuine affinity for the absurd is also there in spades.  I can be very irreverent a times.  I mean no harm by it tis but my humor.  I am always shooting at sacred cows.  Without laughter what is the point?  

But there is also love.  Not romantic love but actual Love. The kind of love you feel when you've finally let go of a grievance toward someone. You know what I mean.  After having nursed a hatred for so many years and then finally making a real decision to see that person differently.  The love that results from this is hard to describe.  You remember the love that was always there from the beginning.  It can be an enormous experience.   Such a feeling as this can barely be contained in a body.  No drug  can not take this from me.  It is just there.  Nothing can touch it.

I really want to give up the "magic beans" because they are a meaningless habit.  Not a sin, or a bad thing, but a habit that does no  service at all.  A huge waste of my energy.    BTW, I really wish the term for drug-free wasn't
"clean".  It automatically makes drug usage its opposite which clearly seems an unkind thought that cannot be good for the unconscious self.  Not a healing thought anyway you look at it.

I will not drop a pill a day.  I will taper slowly.  I am not worried how long it will take.  Time is a trap set for failure it one dwells on it for too long.  Besides what else will I be doing with that time?  Sometimes I forget that "now" is all I will ever have.  And nobody runs out of "now".   Speaking of now, I must ready myself for another job interview.  Been looking for
work for over 2 years.  Jobs are scarce in this city right now for folks over 50.  Wish me luck.
Ever your friend, Hob



Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 19, 2009
Hobbum..That was a wonderful post.You have an amazing attitude towards life and with that you should be able to find a job.I hope others can see this in you and appreciate and admire it as much as I do.Lori said she likes your writing style....I like your style period.Everything you said is so profound and true.Hatred,jealousy and envy are emotions that eat away at aperson and accomplish absolutely nothing except make the person who has them miserable.I hope your interview went well and I am absolutely positive that you will find something soon.Lots of love and luck.

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by madtram, Nov 19, 2009
Hob, I hope your interview went well, as Pharma says, you would be an asset to any business. As a very soon to be 50, & training in a completely new profession, I have to believe that it's never to late to contribute somewhere. What area do you work in?

The term "clean" also makes me shudder because it feels loaded with moralistic overtones rather than being a life affirming choice.

As to why I quit, this fabulous home did not exist when I was going through constant withdrawals as a result of holding at the same 300mg dose for years.  Neither my doctors nor I blamed the tramadol for the insomnia, weakness & fatigue & pain flare ups, instead it was post viral fatigue.

Finally after acquiring a bad sleeping pill habit, a tiny pearl of an idea started to form from the tramadol sand heap - "maybe it's the tramadol", (tramafog strikes again.)  Shortly afterwards, (yes by googling my fubarred life AND tramadol), I found Emily & she saved my life.

I was so shocked & angry that this little pill could have caused so much grief, I felt that I had been poisoning myself & could not bear to take another single dose.  That feeling remains with me still.

Booba, your achievements amaze me, here you are working very full days so soon after coming off what can only be described as mega-doses of tramadol.  You clearly have the mind set that will enable you to achieve anything when you are determined enough.

There are some helpful tips on getting technical writing work at:-

http://www.docsymmetry.com/technical-writing-jobs.html

For anyone interested in better managing your brain & emotions, there is a free online cognitive therapy based site I have found helpful at:-

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au

Fred good to hear from you.

Best to all you champion warriors.

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by gerty411411, Nov 19, 2009
Hi y'all,

Day 4 w/o t.

Hob--I was on t for a total of 2 years.  I have an addictive  personality and took tram because it was easy to get and I liked the way it made me feel--FOR A WHILE.  

This is  my second attempt at getting free.  I tapered slowly the first time and I found that each time I decreased my dose I had 2 days of utter misery.  I also became profoundly depressed and reordered after being off for around 3 weeks.  I then spent the next 6 weeks in an tram and alcohol whirlwind that left my thousands of dollars in debt from impulse shopping sprees.  I also began experiencing blackouts and was taking 20-25 tram/day. I felt I was one step from the abyss.

This time I tapered rapidly over a week and have been t free since Monday.  At times the anxiety has been unbearable as is the insomnia and RLS.  I also haven't even wanted to drink in almost 2 weeks. I also strated counseling and  feel this will hopefully  help me with my addictive issue.

This web site is invaluable.  W/o it and all the warriors I would stiil be heading into the downward spiral.

There is no right or wrong way to stop tram.  The important thing is the decision to be done.  Once that decision occurs the rest is relatively easy in the long run.

We are all here for you!

Newway--Did you get any sleep last pm?  I'm actually tired tonight I'll be happy if I get 4 uninterruped hours!!

Take care all!,,

Love Gerty

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 19, 2009
aloha to all and welcome Hobbum,  you are in the RIGHT place, the folks posting here are the BEST - no judgement, sound advice, great encouragement etc etc. These are the smart people who caught the tram train and they KNOW what you are saying.  As far as the mind set - be strong - as thoughts in withdrawal are mindbendingly strong - the tram FIGHTS with you for more, I felt like suicide - but somehow (and with the support here) I came thru and will never take another pill such as tram

Booba- Would be great if you could write the TRAM book - but hard  - as no pay until it sells and you don't have extra time in the day right now

POLLY - I can relate to the ex who thinks only of himself - we women are born rescuers - my counselor advised me to think of each request from 'him' -  IS THIS GOOD FOR ME.  I also have to practice self worth and that is hard unless you sever all conversations.  When 'he' is chatting away, do you kinda gloss over and not really listen, I was doing that. The need for love from another can never be enough until we love ourselves first. Remember when on a plane we are instructed to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first THEN help the children.  We cannot help others unless we take care of ourselves first.  be strong and love your self first.  When I ended my relationship I was sad and worried how I would feel when he replaced me, but I am done trying to prove myself for him.  I take care of ME now and that sometimes feel selfish but who else is gonna do it  Be less available to him, when he calls to chat cut the conversation off FIRST - you are busy!!!  When he wants to meet with you, just keep saying it is not convenient and don't waste time trying to explain anything

GO warriors, be healthy happy and human.  be as kind to yourself as you are to others.  Thank you to all for helping me

Avatar universal
by FinallyFred, Nov 20, 2009
Hello Tram Warriors.

Nice hearing from you too, Michelle aka madtram.  You, emergee and Emily got me through my own battle with this drug.   I have a debt that I will never be able to repay, but I'll keep coming back to share my experience, strength, and hope.  Thank you Michelle

Gerty, Congratulations on making it to DAY 4.   I see a good night's sleep in your future before the weekend is out. You are doing SO well!!!    The way you feel right NOW will soon pass.   You hae an investment at this point.  Keep up the good work Gerty!!! YAY!!!   I also liked what you said, "There is no right or wrong way to stop tram.  The important thing is the decision to be done.  Once that decision occurs the rest is relatively easy in the long run".    

YES, absolutely.  I recall in one of my early days withdrawing from this drug, I pondered which day might be the most important day in my recovery.    I took the week off work and made this WAR my tramadol vacation.   Nothing else mattered to me that week, except continuing to put moments between myself and my last lovely white pill.   I DO appreciate that not everyone can have such largess of time to do this but I was fortunate.  I DO know that many go through days 1,2,3,4,5,6, etc, while working and being a mom.   Fortunately, our kids are grown and the cats were behaving themselves that week.  I did go back to work on day 7 and I did little more THAT DAY, than hold a space in the chair.   Foggy?  yup, but I at least got through that horrible first several days.  

I was trying to keep busy tha first week...posting like a mad person.    It served at least as a distraction for me. Distractions at times like that are gooood.

Anywhooo...in the heat of my battle, I tried to ponder which day of my recovery was the most important.  I concluded that it was that first 24 hours of being tram free.  I recall asking Emily then, which day she felt was the most important in her recovery.  Do you know what she said?   I'll never forget her response.  She said that for her, the most important day was the day she looked in her pill drawer and realized she didn't NEED to take the tramadol any more.  

YEAH for that MOMENT of clarity!  

Like you said, Gerty, "once that decision occurs the rest is relatively easy in the long run."  

Hob, you said it well, "Laughter and a genuine affinity for the absurd is also there in spades.  I can be very irreverent a times.  I mean no harm by it tis but my humor.  I am always shooting at sacred cows.  Without laughter what is the point?"  

I am with you there.  I am afraid that I tend to worry WAY too much about things that will never occur.   Bring on the absurd and some laughter.

Kev, oh Kev, please come back and tell us the story of the green paint and your doctor's car.  Please do tell?     This place needs some of your absurd levity.  KEV?  

You write words that cause me to read and re-read what you have written - and that is a good thing.  Please honor us with some of your writing Kev.   P L E A S E?

Polly - in quietness and confidence shall be your strength.   Hang in there girl and good luck with your run.

Aftercare:

I am also a recovring alcoholic.  Had my last drink in June 2001.  I keep going to that place where those of us go who are "allergic to booze"...AA.  I make no claims to working the AA program as well as some, but I do go to my home group every Friday night.  No judgment in those rooms, TONS of wisdom, laughter, and identification of our common problem.   Kinda  like this place, but with a coffee pot and faces to see.

Polly, conventional wisdom around the AA halls is that people shouldn't make any BIG decisions for a YEAR after getting sober.  Most people blow off that advice, but I believe that it is sound.

After coming off tramadol, our brains are still foggy and there are those "weeks and weeks" it takes to become ourselves again.   I still don't know what a "brain receptor" is, but they tell me that tram works on em.  I don't know about anyone else, but I tried like heck to do my worst to those "receptors" for six long years.   It kinda makes sense that it might take time until they begin to function normally again.  After we stop with the receptor pounding.  I'm a big believer in not making big decisions for some time, maybe even a year, after our whacked out brain recovers a bit.

Obviously, I had too much coffee today.

Good night all!!!  (I hope)

fred



Avatar universal
by Hillbilly47, Nov 20, 2009
Yeah . . . what Fred said.

Avatar universal
by MsBuckeyeBabe, Nov 20, 2009
Hi everyone,

I am so thankful that something like this exists and to know that others are going through the exact same thing as I am right now. I guess it doesn't matter how I got where I am right now but it would at least help me to finally verbalize something that has plagued me for the last year or more of my life. I'm married, have a young daughter, and am also working on a Master's Degree. So needless to say, its a busy time for me to be going through something that monopolizes my entire being. At first I started out 1 a day, long story short, ended up at 8 per day. The bad thing is I knew what I was getting myself in to. I had a friend who was addicted to the very same pill but was taking up to 14 per day for almost 2 years. I actually helped him go through the horrifying withdrawal, all the while ashamed of myself for having the same secret addiction. There have been about 4 times over the past 1 plus year that I have run out of pills for 3 -5 days at a time. So I've got through the beginning part of withdrawal more than once. And yet I still picked up right where I left off time and time again. And now I'm in a much worse spot. I purposefully ran out of pills because I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I wanted to have one more child but I consistently put it off because I wasn't ready to quit Tramadol. I was beginning to taper off of the pill when we started to try to conceive. I didn't expect to get pregnant after only trying THREE times. I did not time that whole thing with quitting the drug and conceiving a baby at all. But the fact of the matter is, whats done is done. So my tapering went VERY quickly. From 8, to 6 to 5 to 4 to 2 to 0 in the matter of 2 weeks. So now I am 6 weeks pregnant and I will soon be on day 5 of no Tramadol. I'm so miserable physically, but even moreso mentally. I keep thinking that my unborn baby is suffering right along with me. I feel such guilt and immense shame. My intentions were good, but that's about it. So now I have withdrawal symptoms on top of pregnancy symptoms on top of severe mental anguish. However, nothing close to suicidal thoughts or a very deep depression. So that is a bit of good news. I'll take what I can get.
On the topic of withdrawal: it f***ing blows. I haven't slept the past four nights. Night 4 was the worst I've had yet. Now I'm on day 5 and I had my husband get me some withdrawal goodies at the drug store. I have to watch what I can take because of the pregnancy, but everything I've purchased is natural so that is a plus. Back to the dirt: of the joys of insomnia. I have cold chills running up my body and yet my legs and feet feel so warm, I also have some unexplainable chills in my chest area that can be best described as the pins and needles feeling that one may feel in their legs. So just in case I can't get enough of that feeling in my legs, I get the added bonus of feeling it in my chest AND arms. Restless Arms? Only Tramadol would be evil enough to come up with that one. I dread with every fiber of my being when night time rolls around because I know what lies ahead. But no matter how badly night time goes for me, I think the morning hours may be giving the night time a run for its money. It is a living nightmare to drag myself out of bed, and not because I'm sleepy and comfortable. That couldn't be further from reality. I can't get myself up because I feel like absolute hell. I feel like a loser. I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to because I dread the day ahead. I feel like every one else is normal and I'm a weak little girl that can't handle life or something. Before Tramadol, I struggled with insomnia and anxiety, mixed in with occasional short periods of depression but I managed it with exercise, and yoga and things like that. It didn't make the bad stuff completely go away but it helped in a major way. I'm afraid to go back. But I know I have to FACE myself and not ESCAPE from myself. How do I do this? How do I DO this?! The physical **** I can handle, albeit miserable. I'm really not to jazzed on the emotional and mental part of the withdrawal, and just the overall sense of loss one has when they no longer abuse a drug. It is a loss, and I am certainly grieving and will be grieving for a while.

I actually did have a question despite all of the long winded mumbo jumbo that spewed from my brain to my  hands to the keyboard. So I'm on day 5. I used 2 Lortabs for Day 1 (one in morning, one in evening) and another 2 for Day 2. I used 1 Lortab for Day 3 to get through the night. It helped about 25%, so it wasn't that big of a crutch. No more Lortabs for Day 4 so I got through that one with nothing at all. I am currently on Day 5, started the Immodium AD, Epsom Salt baths, B12 sublinguals, and my regular multi-vitamins (pre-natal). Also had some decaf green tea with lemon honey that made me feel pretty good. I just feel weak and like I've been run over by a Tramadol Train. Can anyone tell me what to expect for the next couple of nights? I have a major project to work on this weekend, I'm afraid I won't have the mental clarity or energy to deal with it. And it cannot be put off.
Any encouraging words, or honest words, about what is to come for me and this horrible journey? I am so grateful I have so many posts to read and relate to myself and what I'm going through. Thank you for that opportunity. It actually takes my mind off of the fact that I want to climb out of my skin at any given moment! :)




Avatar universal
by Hillbilly47, Nov 20, 2009
buckeyebabe:  hang in there.  my guess is that you're at or past the worst of it.  in all honesty, though, it took me a couple of weeks to start sleeping well (but I've had RLS since youth).  you might want to try some melatonin or valerian root for sleep aids, but I would check with OB doc first - or maybe someone else on here knows more about the pregnancy issues.  

soon, you will start feeling more natural energy.  you can speed this up by some light exercise now (walking, etc).  this forum has tons of good posts for 2 reasons:  first, there is a wealth of good info on here from folks who have been where you are and survived it well (I'm at 66 days right now); also, every minute you spend reading this and occupying your mind is another minute you put between yourself and the pills.

you can do this.  many of us on here continue our own little struggles, but to a person I'd bet we all thought we couldn't make it.  

Peace & Strength to you.  You're now a Warrior.

Avatar universal
by DrStop, Nov 20, 2009
After the last dose, two days of terrible, terrible nights, and three not-that-good-either days. Horrible mood, and tremblings all the time. Then it starts to ease. It starts to go... then it comes again a little, not so strongly, and then it leaves you... and then it comes again, and then...
Exercise helps during the day, not that much during the night. Didn't try the vitamins. One day, had a couple of drinks in order to sleep. Woke up feeling so-so.
I guess I should throw away the 90 pills I still have. Don't have the courage, though. I guess this is the next step, right? And burn my credit card, right?
But maybe I'll need them later... but if I have one more, I'll get addicted again. But if I throw them, and then I need just one, I'll have to buy a new box. And then I'll have to have them all, and start all over again. So maybe I should just throw them. But I can't.
I guess I still crave the little demons.

I don't get it! It wasn't such an intense "high", anyway!

Avatar universal
by inspiring, Nov 20, 2009
aloha to all

msbuckeyebabe - yes you are probably over the worst of it - tho as DrStop states - it will come and go and gradually get better.  Our other friends on here are probably at work right now but Pharma9, Booba, notsosunny, forgetmenot and all the other wise fols will e answering you soon. Hang in there, each minute take it slow, breathe, and know your desperation will pass. Do it for you and for your growing baby ad Pharma9 will be telling you about sleep aids etc.

DrStop - the other wise ones will also help with advice about those other 90 pills you have stashed. YET after going a couple days of WD would you ever want that again, stay strong and go thru the pain and misery, each mnute is making your OWN mind and body stronger

I kept 1 and 1/2 pills incase I needed them - they were a constant burden as knew where I had hidden them -  I kept telling myself if I 'NEEDED' them I wouldn't panic out.  What a joke - I realized I no more wanted to touch them and live those horrible WD feelings ever ever ever again.  I knew if I just hung in there I would get thru it - and I DID>  I flushed those little demons with a pang of fear and the regret was only momentary.  I am SO happy to be free, THAT feeling is SO GREAT -I take my ups and downs as life happening. I have had a couple panic attacks but I remembered to breathe and knew it wouldn't last long - feels so much better to get thru it naturally than rely on something doesn't help me anymore anyway - the tram affects our minds and gives us all kinds of incorrect messages.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 20, 2009
Benadryl which is an antihistamine used for allergies and sleep aids has been used for many years.It has not shown to be harmful to the fetus at the present.Doses of 50mg at bed should not be harmful.Also tylenol 325 mg is usually recommended to pregnant women for headaches and is deemed safe.I would certainly take the b12 vitamins and omegas and antioxidants which would not harm the fetus.In fact omegas are recommended for pregnant women to help the fetus develop brain and spinal cord and eye development.Ms,Buckeye..just stress the vitamins and if really neeeded can take the otc pain and sleep aids if needed.Epsom salt soaks are also important.Take lots of electrolyte fluids and everything will be ok.Glad you came to us for we will help you.

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 20, 2009
Off to work now...will check in later..

Avatar universal
by MsBuckeyeBabe, Nov 20, 2009
Thanks to everyone who has responded, every word helps so much, you have no idea. Well, actually, I'm sure you DO have an idea. :)

Pharma9: Thanks for the suggestions. I had never thought of Benedryl but I will keep that in mind. I do take my prenatal vitamins and DHA religiously and I just started the B12 today. I also bought some Melatonin. I am hoping and praying that the Melatonin will do some good tonight.

And oh how I fear the night! Seriously, it's like I'm waiting for the vampires to come in the movie Lost Boys. I'm boarding up my house and getting all my supplies rounded up, because when night time falls, well, they come a knockin' and they don't come quietly! But I think I've got a shot. :)

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by dammitol, Nov 20, 2009
Hello to all. I just commented on someone else's post and thought I should repeat it in here. It's been over a year since I kicked tramadol addiction and while the acute pain is purged from my memory, the dread and horror of being in its grip has not dulled one bit. I was up to about 18 pills/day and was visiting 3 different doctors to feed my supply line. I was on them for almost a year before I quit cold turkey and have never looked back. It took almost a full year to finally have my energy restored and finally be able to sleep naturally and restfully and it feels great. I'd forgotten what "normal" actually felt like, and I really appreciate it.

I could not have done it without the caring and support of this community and especially Emily Post for being a shining example of what was possible.

Dave

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by gerty411411, Nov 20, 2009
Hi Y'all,

TGIF!!!  My first t free work week in a long time. I actually have been feeling less anxious each day.  I am a bit depressed because of the death of a close family friend.  She had pancreatic cancer.  I have to go to the funeral with my Mom.  My Mom and I have no ability to get along.  It will be interesting how the one hour car ride goes w/o tram

Also had  a school  meeting about 10 year old daughters lack of progress.  She just told me she's very depressed.  I feel very guilty that I've been all stoned and liquored-up for the last 2 years.

Dr.Stop-- I hesitated to flush my remaining t for several days.  Finally I asked myself "Do you want to be free of this bs?"
For me it was a big deal to make the choice to flush.  When I saw them in the toilette there was a scary part of me that wanted to grab them , dry them out and save them.  But I new that I would never be FREE with those pills in my house.  That maneuver was pivotal to me resolve to stop.  It also gave me confidence because I didn't run out, I chose to be done with the drug after my taper ended. I felt like Na-Na NANA Na---I SHOWED YOU YOU SKANKY HO.
You'll know when the time is right.  

Tonight is my nyquil night.  God, just 4 hours would be heaven.

Fred, you are always so right on and wise!!!!

Take care all!!

Gerty

Avatar universal
by desperate2getWell, Nov 20, 2009
I posted a while ago but probably the wrong site or something.  All's I can say that I am on day five of no T.  On day one I went and saw the doctor because my heart was beating 150 bpm and jumping around with PAC/PVC's.  At age 50, not a good thing.  
Anyway I have been taking  T for years, for one pain or another and it has always worked great and made me feel better too.  I didn't see any harm taking it as it is supposed to be non-habit forming???  I am going to have nightmares recalling all the times the doctor I worked for recommended it for post=op and chronic pain.  In an event, I have a handle on my health issues and no longer have any pain so I stopped . . . OMG.  This drug should be in a category II, III at the very least.  Like the rest of you I feel like a pile of dirty laundry with no energy and a pain in every joint of my body.  Thank God for that Thomas recipe.  I want to send him flowers, poetry and my unending thanks.  Everyother site wants your money.  Anyway, I have been reading this site over and over and needless to say have gained such support and strength just by reading.  I will be happy to sign any petition or march in protest anywhere to see that others like us do not have to go through such God awful hell.  I honestly don't know how you managed to get to work.  Today, day 5 I actually went to two stores, came home and collaspsed.  Here's the good part=I wrote my first essay after ten years of avoiding being creative.  Hang in there everyone.  I'll be here reading your struggles as I pray for our success and resulting joy awaiting our recovery.  Love, Light and Healing to all,


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by forget_me_not, Nov 20, 2009
Good Evening, Warriors!  MsBuckeye, Desperate, and other newcomers, welcome!  You are in such awesomely good company.  I've missed posting here but have been reading a couple of times every day to keep up with everyone's journeys.  My fractured hand is healing and I can now type, so look out.

Tomorrow is 11 weeks since my last poison pill.  Amazing, that is.  Folks, I never, ever thought I would be able to say that.  I never thought I would be able to make it even one week, much less eleven weeks.  But I have.

Being laid up with a cracked hand has given me time to reflect on what I've been through, what we have all been through.  What we are going through.  I have a tendency to look back on my own accomplishments and sort of diminish them.  "It wasn't really THAT big of a deal.  It was just something that had to be done."  But when I think back on the insanely painful road that brought me here -- a road parallel to the one that brought each of you here -- I can't help but be totally overwhelmed by the magnitude of what we have done.  Nobody but a tramadol addiction survivor can even fathom it.  The physical and emotional turmoil that we lived with for so, so long.  The mortal fear of what would happen to us either way we chose -- to keep taking the drug or to break free.  

Either way it's really going to hurt.  And hurt it does.

The last week has been difficult on several levels.  I have had what I think may be a four-day spell of PAWS fatigue, depression, insomnia, and body aches.  I thought it might be flu, as I ran a low-grade fever, too.  But I wasn't sick.  It was like I was thrown back into withdrawal for a few days.  Like, maybe, how I felt at or around days 10-15 or so.  Pretty hard.  Were it not for Emily and others here who let me know early on the insane randomness of tram withdrawal I wouldn't have known what to think.  When the insomnia and depression flared, I knew.  There was no mistaking it.  And the nerve pain in my chest.  Ugh.  Hi again. I thought I lost you.  So you're still stalking me?  Guess what.  I'm not scared of you because YOU ARE DEFEATED.  Even if you do this to me every now and then for the rest of my life.  I WON.

So at 11 weeks life is GOOD.  Not perfect, nope.  But good.  

What we have accomplished is nothing short of miraculous.  For anyone who may be reading this, know one thing and know it well: you can have victory over this demon.  Join us in this painful, worthy journey to healing.  We've saved you a seat.

cheers to all of you who are winning the war.  Fight on, Warriors.

blessings,
~fmn

Avatar universal
by FinallyFred, Nov 21, 2009
FMN and Hillbilly, you guys are the salt of the earth and your wise words are like balm to our wounds.  Thank you!

Ms. Buckeye, Gerte and desperate,  You guys are all at about the same stage of recovery, so I hope that you reach out to one another and compare notes.   Each of you has a tremendous investment in your own recovery at this point.   Don't give up before the miracle happens.   You are much closer to the end than the beginning at this point, you know?  

There is just now way to sugar coat the insomnia that consumes each one of us as we struggle to break free from this drug.  I recall those horrible days and nights far too well.   Nearly O.D.ing on tylenol P.M.s, feeling like I was the sleepiest I had ever been, barely able to walk to the bed, only to lay down and jump back up after 10 minutes of tossing and turning, unable to sleep.

(repeat a dozen times a night).  

Does it make anyone feel any better to know that this is (unfortunately) a normal part of the recovery process?  I doubt it.   But the fact is that I don't know anyone who has made their way through ACUTE recovery without experiencing these symptoms.  Try to take comfort in the knowledge that this severe insomnia will not last forever.  And every person who has made it through to the other side, has gone through exactly what you are going through now.

Big (((HUGS))) to each of you guys!  

Dr. Stop, It sounds as though you have had a horrible last few days.   Please come back and let us know how you are doing, OK?   You are struggling with whether to keep the 90 tramadol or flush them.   I am not as concerned with whether you flush the pills, as I am with your appreciation for the ENEMY we all face.   I understand the quandry you must feel right now.   Nobody here will flush those pills for you.   As you say, you might need them again.  But let's consider the FOE you are up against, OK?  

Tramadol is a synthetic OPIATE.    It's bad enough that nature yields opiates in countires like Afganistan, but for man to invent this stuff is a crime, driven PURELY by the pursuit of the almighty buck.  People who could care less about folks like us, people who under tested, under reported and frankly kept secret the real IMPACT of this synthetic opiate.  

I'd be willing to bet that all of us began this tramadol journey on a fairly low dose at the first.  Yes, SOME of us are guilty of increasing that dose for the "HIGH", but I have come to believe that by and large, this problem we find ourselves in is NOT a moral problem.   We aren't "bad" people.  We are simply people with a "bad' dependancy/addiction problem.   And make no mistake, THIS IS A BAD DRUG PROBLEM WE FIND OURSELVES BATTLING!  

Over time, this drug takes more and more of us and gives us less and less in return.  In the end, most of us continue to take this drug not for the "high", but simply to feel less unwell.   We keep taking tramadol for the same reason other street junkies keep going back for a fix of smack.   Desperate just to feel less unwell for a little while.  And for what it's worth, there have been heroin addictions who have become addicted to tramadol and posted that this drug is worse to get off - than they reported that it was to break free from street opiates.  

I was once comforted by that word "synthetic".   It fed into my denial mentality thinking that told me "synthetic" meant "less than".   But honestly, this drug is NOT less than any other opiates.   The tires on my vehicle are synthetic and I am told they will run longer than naturally produced rubber.   That same vehicle runs on a synthetic lubricant, which will run LONGER and work harder than any oil that bubbles up from the sand.  

This SYNTHETIC, man made drug takes your name and kicks your *** to the curb.   It doesn't care who you are, what your education is, how old or young you are, your marital status, or what you do for a living.   If I may be so bold, this drug was invented to make dependants/addicts out of all of us.   And it was designed to keep us coming back again and again for more.  

I guess for each of us, we must answer the ultimate question, "WILL WE CONTINUE TO SUBJECT OUR LIVES TO THE DOMINANCE OF THIS HORRIBLE DRUG (AND THE PEOPLE WHO MANUFACTURE IT), OR WILL WE TAKE ON THE FIGHT OF OUR LIVES AND FIGHT TO THE DEATH TO WIN OUR LIVES BACK?"  After six years of being defeated day after day by this powerful drug, I finally concluded  that if the drug is this powerful, IT CAN'T HAVE ME.

After hanging around these walls for nearly a year and reading thousands of posts, I have observed that  the ONLY people who stand ANY chance to defeat this drug are those who have committed themselves to engaging in an all out WAR against this powerful drug.   On the other hand, I have seen many many people dip their feet into the river of acute withdrawal, only to pull back when the pain seems too much, retreating to the comfort of that drug that offers temporary relief so long as the user continues taking more and more of this man made OPIATE.  

This drug is nothing to mess around with.  There will be ONLY one victor in this battle.    The drug is betting that half hearted efforts will see us crawling back for more of the drug that desires ultimately to kill each of us.   To destroy our emotions, our physical bodies, our offspring, our bank accounts, our marriages and our souls.  You do recognize this, yes?   This drug has done none of us any favors.

So DrStop, what is it worth for you to get your life back?   How many more days of insomnia, of RLS, and flu like symptoms are you willing to endure to rid yourself of this demon drug that desires to kill you?   Cause that is really what this WAR we find ourselves is all about.  Our very lives are at stake.  

Please choose to live, won't you DrStop?  And when you make that decision, I think you will be able to answer your own question about flushing the 90 pills.

It really IS a matter of life or death you know.

Courage Strength and love to you all.

fred

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 21, 2009
Wow - once again I am amazed and humbled by the support on this thread.  Thanks to all who have posted.  You are helping us all more than you know.

I'm still tapering - 2-50mg per day until after Thanksgiving.  Then one...then none.

I'm sleeping better thanks to Pharma...my doxy/dextromethorphan combo is working better I think - or I think it is.  Who cares as long as I'm sleeping.  My doc upped my BC pills so I think that will help the head, sweats and ut...

I have a massage today that I'm REALLY looking forward to.  Another opportunity to flush out some nasty toxins.

All in all - I'm hangin in there.  I may be a raging idiot in a few weeks when I jump, but I'll take it one day at a time.

Thanks all...

-Lori

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 21, 2009
Lori...so far Ya dun good kid..Keep doing what works for you and you will get thru this like you got thru everything else that was unpleasant in your life.You have accomplished big things by losing weight and keeping it off and are now a different person physically and mentally...a new and improved Lori.Keep it up and lots of love.

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by booba77, Nov 21, 2009
Good morning warriors.  Today is day 23 for me tram-free, and I feel good.  Hopefully good enough to clean...lol.  

Buckeyebaby (I love the name btw)-what a wonderful thing you are doing for yourself and your family.  The first 15 days are horrible, and I still have horrible insomnia, but I feel like the old me.  I too, would love to have another child, as mine is 4 and she has the only child sydrome badly (you know, look at me mommy, look what I can do), and I so badly want another one, but have dug myself in such debt from ordering the trams online that it is impossible.  Sleep will come.  What really helped me is an herbal supplement over the counter called Melissa.  I would check with your OBGYN to make sure it is safe for the baby before you try it.  I take 2 and 30 minutes later am out and snoring (says the old man).  It has B vitamins in it L-Theanine, and some herb from Switzerland.  You can use it for stress too, but I use Sam-E during the day and use Melissa at night.

Dr. Stop-You are definately at a crossroads-to flush or not to flush?  I can say if someone gave me trams right now, I would flush them, burn them, destroy them in some way.  3 weeks ago, I don't know.  I spent a lot of time agonizing over when to quit, could I afford to keep going, and of course, I kept going until we were in the deepest debt imaginable.  We are here for you.  You can do it.  It will be the best thing you can do for yourself, and the hardest.  Hell, I did it, and I still cannot believe it.  Still haven't felt 100% at any given time, but because of Emily, Fred, Hillbilly and the others, I know it will come, and I have to be patient.

Madtram-Thanks for the link on the technical writing.  I will definately be checking it out.  

I am still not sleeping that great (without the Melissa anyway), and I still snap and am anxious sometimes, but all in all, I feel alright.  I may make it just yet.  To the newbies, I say, you can do it.  And we will be here to guide you through it.  This place is the only reason I successfully quit the trams, and it is my sole support in the fight.  

I am kind of proud, because I had a date night with the old man last night, which never happens (actually he is 4 years younger, I guess I am a cougar) and we went out and I got to prove to him that live lobsters are not red (Thank you Red Lobster-it has been an ongoing argument) and went to see New Moon (with all of the teens, dear god I want mine to stay 4 years old forever, some of those outfits, my lands) and came home and went to bed.  It was nice to have a non-tram night out.  Have a great day guys.  My house is a wreck thanks to my 2 year tramafog.

Avatar universal
by desperate2getWell, Nov 21, 2009
Day 6 or so but I'm not sure if I am counting right.  Anyway, after reading that Dr.Stop had 90 pills in his possession and was wondering what to do?  I know what I would do and that is to take them.  I would call it tapering, or whatever but I guess the bottom line is that I am a recovering Tramadol addict and at this point I pray that I will not find any loose pills floating around.   I made my husband take away the credit cards so I won't be tempted to order again.  And of course the temptation is there but there is NO WAY after these last few days that I would actually hate myself enough to go through it all again.
I am grateful that my husband is supportive to an extent anyway.  He just took off for a few days to see his daughters and franklly I am relieved that he is not here to see me like this.  His last comment to me was, "I thought you said these pills were nonaddicting."  
Each and everyone of you have helped me see it like it is.  How to thank you all, and Emily for starting this post!  
Anyway, I went the ROOP routine and did not reorder.  It was so easy to get them.  180 at a time.  Then my family members started getting concerned about me as I was basically a zombie with no feelings, just a soft fuzzy place.  I believe an intervention was in my future.  
The very worse thing to expect from my account was NO SLEEP.  And with the racing heart thing = YIKES.  I was fortunate to find a doc in a box (urgent care) who was aware of what Tramadol was and he told me he no longer rx's it.  Im sorry if I am being redundant. Thank you for the words of support.  Someday soon I will be here to offer some of my own.  But for now, I am barely keeping my thoughts above the discomfort.  It's like someone took my blankey away, even if it was infused with poison!
Love, Light and Healing Thoughts for you All.  Do whatever you can to get the word out that this *&^%  should be a scheduled narcotic, once we have the energy to anyway.  I wish you all sleep at night and good thoughts during the day.  What I would give for that!

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by gerty411411, Nov 21, 2009
Desperate I know how you feel!  I'm at day 5 and also have sleep deprivation. I haven't found a consistent regiman for sleep.  I think that I just have to let my body take over and when it's time to sleep I will.  My anxiety is much better and my rls is slightly better.

I've also been trying to exercise  lightly daily and I've continued to work.  I find that if I can work I don't think about how awful I feel,  Be sure  to take a multivitamin, and a b12 supplement daily.  The epsom salt bathes are invaluable.

We are all here for you

Love, Gerty

Avatar universal
by desperate2getWell, Nov 21, 2009
Thanks for the advice Gerty!  I have been taking all the vitamins suggested by the Thomas Recipe, although I haven't tried epsom salts yet.  I am having my uncle pick up some SAMe and some sub-lingual B-12.  I started on St. John's wort and so far haven't had any deep depression, just an overwhelming sense of relief that I am finally facing this demon drug.  So no matter how bad things get, and I am not hoping for that, I will at least have some ammunition against the depression.  Which I am prone to by the way.  I am going to try and go for a walk today, will let you know how this works out.  Did I mention that I am a nurse?  Another reason I am laying low and only confiding in my closest friend, my husband, the doctor who was kind enough to put "anxiety" for my dx.  I am pretty sure my license would be in jeopardy, even though the drug book I have does not say one thing about it being addicting.  It's not even controlled, but when ecstacy (sp?) came out, you could have bought it OTC.  As far as Vitamins, I am taking at least ten different ones a day and I have this sense my body is in celebratry mode, even if my brain isn't.
Interesting fact:  the brain doesn't know a lie from the truth so my mission is to convince my brain that I am healed and in perfect peace without any need for any substance that isn't good for me.  I'll let you know if it helps.  My heart and soul go out to each and everyone of you, including myself.  I don't know you but love you all the same.  We are brothers and sisters putting our health and lives ahead of the DEVIL DRUG.  Surround yourself with love and light, even if you are feeling hateful and dark.  Like I said, the brain doesn't know, only what it is told.  Be back in a fewhours.  It helps to write down the feelings and the shame and the desperation.  
Love & Peace & Healing & Good Thoughts & Acceptance that this too, shall pass.  

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by booba77, Nov 21, 2009
The ups and downs of the WDs are crazy.  One minute I am full of vim and vigor, the next, a heap on the floor.  I am so exhausted and my kidneys hurt. gonna try some tylenol and a nap.  I am here alone which makes it rough.  How will I ever get the energy to get caught up on these chores? I feel for those of you going through the worst of it now.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  I just want my house back to being livable, but am having a hard time finding the strength and desire to work on it.  Dont know if it is depression or laziness, but housework was much more tolerable on the trams.  I know this is insignificant stuff in the grand scheme, but it is affecting my mood nonetheless.  gonna try to nap and wake in better spirits.  love u guys

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 21, 2009
booba...just do whatever housework that can be seen and everything else hide in cupboards or boxes.If you put your mind to it you can probably quickly vaccuum,straighten things out and quickly wash dishes or put them in dishwasher.I have been able to do these things in about 1/2 hour give or take and the house becomes presentable.The bedrooms get a quick bed make and the bathrooms get quick sink cleaning.Thats it...Keep up the healing and my thoughts are with you.Just think of the money saved by not buying pills.Then you can rest.

Avatar universal
by desperate2getWell, Nov 21, 2009
More questions because I guess the fun is really starting to kick in!  Sneezing I read about earlier but never saw any answer to that.  Helps with the "flu" story though.  Also, my left ear is acting like it's trying to stage a soprano choir.  Every so often I find myself tripping over my left foot.  Not that I am picking them up far enough as it is!  Off to a hot shower and more chamomile tea.  I have exactly three more days before I enter the real world again.  I will do it.  I WILL.  There is not any other option.  

Avatar universal
by tman4071, Nov 21, 2009
hi alll,,,,,been a while day 23  ,,,,energy is still gone,,,,,when does it come back,,,,also my appetite is huge is this normal with people coming off,,,,,,,,ty all iam about in the clear....

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by gerty411411, Nov 21, 2009
Today has been a very trying day.  Essentially I feel like feces (take that censor man) I'm so fatigued and sore I can barely move . Also very irritable.  I'm on my third bath.  
God, I liked the manic Gerty better.  I hope  I get a grip of this by Monday as I have work and a funeral to attend.
Day 6 almost done.
So glad I flushed.

Keep of trucking warriors.  Tomorrow has got  to be better.

Love, Gerty

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 21, 2009
GERTY...hang in there  love..it's all part of the experience...It will soon pass and better days are ahead.You are fighting a stubborn foe,but do not let yourself be defeated by this stupid pill.You are much better than that and will overcome it even if it takes more effort.at least you are fighting a winnable  battle ,not like some cancer patients who fight for their lives and bear unspeakable side effects just to prolong their lives a few months.You will get thru this a stronger person and a person who has empathy with others who suffer tremendously.Think of it as part of your training for life experiences.Good luck and love to you and good healing which will come.

Avatar universal
by yllopcat, Nov 21, 2009
Hello All... Polly here.
Well.. Well.. I'm back, new people good job in coming, and really posting!!!! I remember when I had found this site and was too scared, and hooked on my ( fix it pill) to get on board. Things are MUCH!!! Better now.
THE REASON I QUIT...
1. God put me here to make a difference. People see me, hear me, I can effect people, they effect me. I can not possibly do my best unless, I am CLEAR headed and the REAL me. I want to make a difference--even in one persons life.
2. We all are born with PERSONALITIES-- that were meant to SHINE. That real personality of YOU--ME or who ever can only get out and glow brightly if you are sharing who you really are. Life is more interesting than anything you could, lie about --make up, or even predict. There are mysteries, its the mystery that SUSTAINS me now. The not knowing. CAN BE fun if you let it...
3. I do not want or appreciate anything--people, a DRUG especially controlling my direction in life. The way I have to live because I can't let it go. I do not want anything controlling me period. I realize I am not in control of life, but at least I have a fighting chance with my focused, clean and clear mind to decide how I REALLY feel about things. And not come back after being on something and say.." UM who was that person back there??"
4. Because these people did it. I felt very connected and like THIS was the time!!! Do not borrow trouble!! Start now.. A voice in my head. I saw these people do it, and ion my competitive --RUNNERGIRl--nature.. I wanted to "win" with them..
Heres to winning....
Good luck new peeps.. Its an exciting journey..
This has somewhat become my journal..
Fred: Yeah.. Funny.. Journal.
I have a new addiction to be REAL..
Good luck.
Maybe this helps a sqeek....
Polly

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 21, 2009
Polly...I have a new addiction too....I love to help people and am on this medhelp site every free moment I have.I seem to be over the codeine addiction and am trying to help as many unhappy people as i can.i just can't stay away from this site even tho my problem seems to be resolved I have a compulsion to help others.i often wonder if I am pushing myself into others lives,but I feel that any help that i can offer is some help to someone.I do that at my job as a pharmacist every day but seem to want to continue even in my off time to help people get over addictions and their symptoms.I am glad to hear from you and am glad that everything seems to be working out reasonably ok and that you are drug free.I personally am opiate free but still need otc pain meds.Love and good living..

Avatar universal
by newway, Nov 21, 2009
I look forward to seeing many of your posts and am pleased when I see your "name" pop up.  I am not sure what I would do without this place.
I do have AA - and it is a great place to focus on relapse prevention, coping skills etc - but this place - you people - you understand the evil tram.

I am one of the few doing the taper thing - it has been okay - but now starting to get pretty rocky.  The gradual drop from 1000 - 500 didn't cause too much distress - I took it really slow, took the odd extra pill here or there - I wasn't fully committed - just miserable enough to give it a shot.  Well after being on this forum for a number of months - my resolve got stronger and I just wanted it more.  So no more cheating - it has been a steady taper from then on.
I was impatient and tappered too quick - and paid the price - it was ugly - but now I am being patient - slow and steady is my motto.
Now I am not that pleasant to be around.  One thing that I haven't heard mentioned - dry mouth - has anyone ever had really dry mouth - I can barely swallow at times.  The ringing in my ears is either getting louder or I am just focusing on it more.  I am still exhausted - I get jittery, and RLS - but I still have that nasty benzo thing I will have to deal with after I am done with the tram so I get a bit of sleep - but I am always tired.
So I battle on - knowing that this is the way to get free of this "non addictive" evil pill.


My partner holds the tram - and it is going okay - reading this everyday keeps me motivated and focused - I want a tram free life - that's all that matters now.

Avatar universal
by Lori_MN, Nov 22, 2009
Pharma - thank god you're still addicted to us!  Your advice and warm support is invaluable.  I'm not sure my Target pharmacist would understand if I asked him what to take to sleep during tram withdrawal!

Speaking of sleeping - both the Mister and I are doing better I think.  Hub is using Nyquil Cough, and I'm taking the cough gels along with a doxy.  I've actually been able to stay in bed until 7:30 am on the weekends which is a plus to me.

Newway - I've had the dry mouth - holy **** that is nasty - it's better now that I'm down to 100mg./day, but when I was up a 400mg, it was pretty bad.  It should improve as you taper down.

It's funny, every strange symptom and ailment that we have in my house, I blame on tram.  It's a good scapegoat if nothing else.

Hang in there everyone...

-Lori

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by gerty411411, Nov 22, 2009
Hey Y'all,

Pharma, thanks for the encouraging words.  I think that sonmetimes it is better than any medicinal concoction.  I think w/d and pms is the absolute worst(sorry guys). I don't know if I'm imagining it but one kind of amplifies the other and vice -versa

Pharma I have often felt that I'm going through chemo and that my room is like a hospice because I have felt so awful.  How selfish of me.  I'm going through this not because I have cancer but because of various choices I have made throughout the years.  Alot of people with cancer have no choice in their disease process.

Therefore I have made the choice to stop this drug and I have also made the choice to experience the w'd.  It is my choice and I will take it on and get through this!!!!!


To another t free day!!

Love ,Gerty

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by booba77, Nov 22, 2009
Top of the morn warriors!  Day 24 for me and still not much energy.  Couldnt sleep last night either.  I want so badly to sleep without sleep aids, so when I dont use anything, sleep doesnt come. I have to get motivated because running to Walmart to get groceries.  I am so thankful for this place and you guys, especially those of you who have been off of the trams and still come here to help us still in the early stages.  To those lurking, please find the strength to post....we are a no judgement forum and are here to help.  Ilove you guys.....have a great Sunday...go Bengals.

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by EmilyPost, Nov 22, 2009
This thread is closed.

Please go to part 22

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/138903

Avatar universal
by Hobbum, Nov 22, 2009
Hi folks.  I just wanted to stop in for a quick note so you don't think I fell off the planet so early in the game.  I still am sticking with my decision to taper slowly due to my 1gram a day usage.  I have no desire to torture myself nor do I believe I deserve punishment.  This habit is not a "sin".  It is just a habit, nothing more.  That it is insidious, there is no doubt for this is the nature of all habits.  Habits are simply wrong choices.  So like all my mistakes (which are legion), I will forgive this one and forge ahead with my plans.

I got a call-back from the job interview folks.  I am now one of three candidates so I will get another interview soon.  This is the closest I've been to a job for so long.  It is only part-time.  If I get it, it I will be assisting a doc twice a week treating the homeless at the shelters here in the city.  If it is meant to be, it will happen.  I must remember that it is not so much what I "do" in the world.  It is about how I perceive the world.  Paying attention to my thoughts will tell me all I need to know about "success" or its opposite.  By "success" I do not mean winning a war with tramadol.  I mean whether or not I choose peace regardless what appears to happen with the tramadol.  (or the job, or anything else)


I am fairly successful with the taper.  I still am dropping one pill every 5-7 days.  One day I  took my usual 20. I am not sure why.   I just chalk it up to addiction and then move forward.

I am sorry to hear of all the discomfort the wd is causing you (my brothers) and am really hoping my own suffering will not be acute.  I will endure regardless.  I am just glad there is somewhere to empty my addictive mind.  This forum really helps more than I can say.  Thanks everyone.  And thanks to my other inner self (who is always pain-free) for leading me here.
Hob.

Avatar universal
by bptfixxer, Nov 23, 2009
Follow up on my Tramadol withdraw.  Went cold Turkey  on 11-6-09 after 3 years of about 400mg per day.  On the 8th I went from combative to suicide threats. By the 11th the police got me and took me to rehab but it was more of a lockup then rehab as no drugs were given other than Ambein ( in reality, sleep is the only thing that helps )  I had no energy at all until about a week ago ...then every day was a little better, I started weaning off the Ambein because I did not come to life untill afternoon.( I suspect the Ambein was still in my system until then) . Now after almost 3 weeks I feel good.  I realize many of you simply cannot afford a month off of work.  The only thing I can offer is The Americans With Disabilities Act that protects you against job loss,does not allow your employer to charge your absense and allows you to get help without your employer firing you.
You can miss over 2 months of work with no disipline .. read about it at http://www.ada.gov/.   It won't help your withdraw but it will help your fear of losing your job
God Bless you and good luck with your recovery

Avatar universal
by pharma9, Nov 23, 2009
Bpt...check up 3 posts we are on the new thread now.Come on over and chat.Glad you are feeling better.Emily has a link to the new thread

1063254 tn?1259021998
by tiggles, Nov 23, 2009
are you all using or have used TRAMADOL if so did u feel itchy i know it sounds mad but im itching like crazy it doing my head in is it a side effect any advice would help thx

Avatar universal
by FinallyFred, Nov 29, 2009
This thread is closed.

Move on over to the current thread and join in the current conversation at http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/138903


Avatar universal
by DEBHA, Dec 05, 2009
Hello again everyone.  I just wanted to stop in and spread some encouragment.  Dec. 8th will be one month since I took my last Tramadol.  No withdrawl symptoms at all these days.  The worst part was during the first week when all I could think about was when the horrible anxiety would kick in.  It was only mild for the first 3 days. I think the vitamins helped.  As I posted before Sam-e, Inisitol, B-12, MSM, and B Complex were life savers for me.  And be sure to drink tons of water.  As for now I am feeling great.  My energy returned to normal after week 2.  I am sleeping very soundly now.  A lot of my aches and pains have disappeared since stopping the Tramadol. I honestly think it caused more pain than it helped.  I developed a strange elbow pain that radiated down to my fingers while on Tramadol.  It has improved almost 100% since being off Tram.  Very strange! My appitite is out of control, not sure why.  So I make sure to try and work out when I can so that I don't pack on any pounds. Anyway I have about 50 of the little devils in my drawer, but I will never ever take one of them again.  They are poison.
For you that are still suffereing through the withdrawls, please do not give up or give in.  Each day will improve, trust me.  My mind is so clear now.  My calmness has returned.  I am appreciative of each day now.  I'm just sorry that I threw 18 months of my life away while on those pills.  Bless you all and hang in there if you are still fighting the demon Tramadol.

Avatar universal
by totallyunaware, Sep 22, 2012
Oh my gosh!  I am so glad to have found this site.  To start w/ I have been on Tramadol for several years, since I was diagnosed w/ fibro.  This is Saturday and last Tuesday I had a seizure like episode and was told to quit the Tramadol.  Dr said it wouldn't hurt to quit cold turkey since it isn't a narcotic.  Boy!  Was she wrong!!  It's been 72 hours and starting yesterday afternoon I felt like I was coming down w/ some kind of bug.  Couldn't sleep last night, had chills, sweats, and my body feels worse than it did before I started on anything for my fibro.  Last night while I couldn't sleep started thinking about all these symptoms and decided to look up tramadol withdrawal.  Well at least now I know what's going on.  Please tell me how long to look "forward" to these symptoms lasting?  I am being sent to a neurologist to check for seizure activity, but since there is no history of it in my family am pretty sure the episode was caused by the Tramadol.  Do doctors not realize what they are doing when they prescribe this drug?

1416133 tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Sep 22, 2012
Well, there are still a lot of Dr.'s out there who don't know any better and prescribe this poison as a safe-alternative to other standard opiates.  I do, however, think a lot of them of starting to come around and realize the huge addictive nature to this drug and are beginning to pay attention to their patients and what's going on out there now.

And actually, they do say a taper is the better way to go when getting off tramadol.  I'm not sure I really believe that, however, since you rarely read about seizures occuring from cold turkey - the only time I've seen seizure activity reported by patients is when they're taking extremely high doses of this drug.  But I'm not a Dr. so obviously, I don't have any concrete proof on that theory.

But GOOD for you for finally coming off this horrible drug.  It will take some time to feel better and how long it lasts seems to vary widely between people.  I think it depends on how long you've been taking them, how much, your age, your overall health.  Some say it takes about 5 to 7 days to feel better.  However, for me it was much longer - a few weeks before the physical symptoms started to subside and some of those symptoms actually lasted months for me (around 3).  I think it was around the 30-day mark where I began to feel a bit better, a bit more hopeful about my future, and the anxiety and sadness began to subside.  I was taking all of the supplements offered by the thomas recipe and started taking a multi-vitamin every day and began taking St. John's Wort since I knew depression could become an issue for me.  I attribute the very little depression I experienced to the SJW - but if you do decide to try that, check with the pharmacist first if you're taking any other meds as there are interaction issues to pay attention to.  And I only took it for the first six months and had no difficulty at all stopping it at that time.

Withdrawal does feel like the worst flu you've ever had.  But remember, the withdrawal IS temporary.  These feelings will end, you'll begin to feel better physically and you'll get past it.  However, since you have already experienced a seizure-like episode, what's most important here is that you stay connected to your Dr. during your recovery.  YOU have to be the best advocate for your health so don't take any risks or if you start to feel like something is really wrong, you HAVE to contact your Dr. immediately.

And welcome by the way!  You'll soon discover getting off the tramadol will be one of the best decisions you ever made for yourself.  And oh - btw - this is an older thread of Emily's - if you click on the "next" bottom on the top of the page, it will bring you to the most recent thread.  You'll find a lot of great support here - and I wish you much good luck!

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