More Shopping + Scared about School

Nov 16, 2009 - 0 comments

Yesterday I bought tops, I wrote about it in my Asthma/Allergy tracker.

I couldn't do anything after shopping yesterday... I basically had to come straight home after I'd finished doing that even though I'd planned on going to the bakery too. It took up all of my energy for the day just buying those tops. I started to get a terrible migraine while I was at the mall, and I really hit me when I finally got home. I took my migraine meds and they worked, but I had a lot of left over pain and anxiety. I took a naproxen (NSAID) and a lorazepam (anxiety med) and had a nap. I took the lorazepam because the migraine pain was making me pace and I had a really bad chill so I was shaking uncontrollably too... so, I knew I had to calm down or the left over pain probably wouldn`t come down anymore than it already had... and I think that is what my migraine doctor prescribed the lorazepam for, partly to help stop behaviour like the pacing during the severe pain.

I woke up for dinner, ate dinner really quickly, and went back to bed. I don't know exactly what time I was asleep after dinner by, but it was well before 9pm. I woke up this morning after 11am. I was supposed to go to my biofeedback session today but my doctor told me I could cancel if I still had this chest pain/breathing difficult thing and I still did this morning. I felt pretty awful and exhausted. One might think that after sleeping for so long I might feel a bit better... but no, whatever this virus is that is making my chest hurt this much is really taking EVERYTHING out of me.

I am feeling completely overwhelmed. I can do about one thing per day after a long time of slowly preparing for it and that is about it... and then there is quite a bit of recovery time after ward. Even though I canceled my doctors appointment... a few hours later I was starting to breathe a bit better and mom offered to drive me to the shoe store to buy a pair of water-proof boots since all I have are those fabric-sneeker-flats that everyone wears during the summer.... but it is raining every day now and it will continue to rain until it starts to snow so I need something water-proof or I really can`t go outside. So, mom drove and we went to the shoe store and it was fun and I bought two pairs of shoes, one pair of water proof boots and one pair of light weight fur moccasins. Standing up to walk around with the shoes on (to make sure they fit) was really hard and it made me really light headed and by the time I`d found the right pairs that fit I was so light-headed, really exhausted and my hands had pins and needles from touching so many things. But, I still went to the bakery because it was right next door and I bought lots of stuff so now we have LOTS of food in the house and I don`t have to go out again!!! :)

I have to go to school tomorrow. I don`t know if I can go. I`ve missed so much because of this stupid acute chest virus. I feel terrible and I am afraid. I am really behind. I feel like a failure again. :(  The way I see it is that lots of people who take full course loads get colds and don`t miss any school... I`m only taking ONE course and I get sick and I miss tons of school and I start failing. Mom says it`s different because I have a chronic underlying illness. I don`t know though, I still feel like a failure and I just want to cry all the time now.

Life Tracker (Pain + General)
Post a Comment