A thankful, but sad Thanksgiving :(

Nov 26, 2009 - 10 comments

I cannot help but start my Thanksgiving off very down.  Below is a timeline of events from the past week....
Found out I was pregnant on Monday (very early was not even due for period yet).
Made a doctors appointment on Tuesday mentioned I was have having minor side pain on my left side.
Got ultrasound and HCG test on Tuesday.  Doctors said I had what looked like a tiny sac (even though I am only 3 weeks pregnant just due for my period) in my uterus.  Pain is caused by unharmful cyst in my right ovary.  Follow up Friday with HCG levels mine were only around 190 which is where they are suppose to be at 3-4 weeks they just want to make sure they were doubling.  I was managing OK not worrying too much!

LAST NIGHT I get an email that my test results are available online. I log in to look results are as follows:
3cm cycts in left ovary, but no free fluid.
.25cm cystic focus in left endometrial.  Could be a cyst could be a very early gestational sac.  If it is a gestational sac would be below limits of gestational age estimation.
No definate inuteruane gestational sac.  Follow up on Friday with HCG check and pelvic ultrasound if warranted.

So, basically the doctor lied to me.  Then proceeded to wait to post my test results until 11pm night before thanksgiving so I couldn't call them today.  I have no idea what is going on with me.  Or why I can't just have a normal pregnancy like so many others I know.  I am 90% sure this pregnancy is not going to work out, this poor baby is probably in my tube, and if that is the case I give up on having my own children.  Life isn't always fair and I am not pushing something that isn't suppose to be in the cards for me.

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hi, i totally understand and feel your pain. Please do not give up yet. There is always hope. It is too early for you to be able to see for sure in ultrasounds.

Just to share my story.. I am currently going through a miscarriage, at my 10th week.
I had polycystic ovaries and lack of ovulation, multiple recurring fibroids in my uterus for many years.. I found it a miracle that I even got pregnant after months of trying! Despite this miscarriage, I am not giving up. Day and night, I just sit and research on natural ways to heal my system. Homeopathy worked wonders for me, my polycystic ovaries were cured to be finally diagnosed as "not polycystic anymore" this june. I got pregnant in september.
I am extremely positive that I will be able to cure my fibroids with homeopathy as I did last year. I am also looking at detox diets to clean my system of the excess estrogen which my body makes, which in turn leads to formation of cysts and fibroids. It may take time, but I am not giving up on my dream for a baby.
Please do not give up hope yet. I am praying for you! take care.. God would grant us our wish I am sure.

I am very sorry about your loss. I too had a miscarriage at 11 weeks (baby died at 8 weeks) back in June. I am trying to stay positive until I know for sure what is going on. Just seeing that something is in my tube when they didn't mention it felt like a slap in the face, and couldn't help but vent. Thank you for your encouraging words, and positive notes. I know it is very soon to see anything and I don't even think there is a sac at three weeks pregnant (note that I was just due to get my period yesterday it is sooo... soon). I am anxious to see my HGC test tomorrow. Keep up the great work with your natural healing... it is truely amazing what we are capable of. Have a nice Turkey Day and I will keep you in my prayers as well.

Heather, I am very sorry to hear things aren't going well. Don't give up yet. I'll be praying for you. I hope everything tomorrow works out for the best.

Im sorry about your bad news but dont get worry. Tommarrow just call the doc and find out whats going on, Im sure everything is gonna be fine , im still sure this is your month and if they are cycts im sure there is something they can do to get ride of them and still try to save the baby. To be on the postive side docs usually dont post to horrible of news on email they usually want to talk to you to discuss everything if its bad news ya know. Its just alot of funny words and stupid numbers. You hcg is great so just concentrate on that. Any jsut remember that no matter what happens that god wont put a mountain in your path that you cant climb, or a river you cant cross so just stay positive take a warm bath and just relax. Tomarrow is friday so keep me updates. You will be in my prayers tonight Happy Thanksgiving Michelle

Heather, i'm so sorry that you had to get this information in an e-mail. Try not to stress to much until you get your b/w and talk to your Dr. What kind of u/s did you have? I really doubt they can see much with an abdominal u/s at 3wks. I had 3 losses in my life, 1 early m/c, 1 ectopic(loss of tube), and I lost my son when I was 5 months pregnant. So I know how you feel when you say that you want to give up. Believe me when I say that we are stronger women for what we went through, so don't give up on your dream, it will come true. My prayers are with you, please let me know how everything goes tomorrow. Lori

I don't know your history, but please try not to worry.  It is sooooooo early for them to be telling you anything like this.  I've known people that didn't see anything until their 7th or 8th week.  You could have ovulated late.  You never know but I def feel that it is too early to rule this pregnancy out, so please don't.

And again, please don't give up hope.  I know of another girl on here that is very young.  Early twenties.  She had no problems getting pregnant, but couldn't stay that way.  She had like 5 miscarriages or something.  All early miscarriages.  She is now 20 something weeks pregnant.  I don't know all of the details because about the time she found out she was pregnant, I had to go on leave from work and didn't have a computer at home.  Had a laptop but my husband had it all the time, so I couldn't get on MH for a while but she has now held onto this pregnancy.  She was so devastated over her losses that she was going to get her tubes tied.  We all begged her not to because she was so young.  I'm sure she is so glad that she didn't go through w/ that procedure now.  So please don't give up hope.

I hope your day was good afterall.  I am so sorry you are going through this.

Take Care,
Michele

Thanks everyone!  Luckily, I was around some wonderful people today who don't know what I am going through (I have only told my husband) but are amazing and took my focus away from what is going on.  Hope all of you had a great day as well with friends and family.
I have been reading up like crazy, and correct me if I am wrong, but it is seeming a sac wouldn't even be visable until my HCG reached 1100-1500.  It was only at 190 something on Tuesday.  So, maybe I freaked and it is just a cyst in my tube which is why they didn't mention?  Hopefully....
When I go in tomorrow I am not leaving until someone tells me my results if they are doubling like they are suppose to it shouldn't be an eptopic.  Hoping for the best.
Lori, they did both transvaginal and on top of the tummy (don't know what that is called).  I am sorry for all of your losses and you are all right when you say it makes you stronger.  Will give an update and thanks again to all of you.

Yeah Heather, there is no way they will see anything on top of the tummy right now. Don't know why they tried. And you are right. I don't think they can see anything until your HCG is at least 1200. So I think these people are crazy if they have suggested that this pregnancy won't be successful this early in the game. Plus HCG levels vary sooooooo much from one woman to another also. So keep that in mind as well.

I can't wait for your next blood work!

Hi Heather,

Please don't give up. As my husband would say don't worry until you know 100% there is something to worry about. Everythig is going to be fine and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
If you need to talk i am hear to lend an ear.
Everything is going to be fine I can feel it
xoxoxo
Gina

to Heather

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. They shouldn't send you the resoults by email when you can't contact somebody on the phone. Anyway I agree with everybody that I think its very early to see anything. Even at 5 weeks the sac its so small in the ultrasound. I wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy . The decition of giving up its so personal but I wish that wherever happen you will keep trying . There is so many woman in this forum that have gone through few miscarriages before having a baby. Hope to hear good news from you.
susi



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