Dec 03, 2009
This last week I would wake up (if i slept) and would put the coffee on grudgingly. I would look at my to do list and could not get the enthusiasm to even begin. I was lucky to achieve 1 or 2 items that day. I would attempt to read my devotions and found my mind wandering. I could not get interested in my current Bible study. TV was a distraction. I would want to go somewhere but could not drive. I would cook my husband breakfast. Instead of being thankful for the food to cook, a husband that loved me and was home for me to cook breakfast for; I hated the job I had to do. I basically was negative and depressed about everything. I had no thought of how to pull myself out of it. I would just pray silently that God would help open the closed doors of my heart and soul and help me move out of my self.
I rec'd a phone call from my niece if asking if they could come over on Wednesday for a tea party. She said she would bring nibbles. I went to bed on Tuesday thinking about cancelling the party or hoping my niece might cancel. I woke up today, prepared the table with my minature tea set, baked some jelly turnovers, sliced some fruit, and put out a variety of tea. It was the first time in 2 weeks I was looking forward to my day. I cooked my husband bkf with enthusiasm, and was grateful for my day.
I enjoyed the tea party with my niece and great niece. It was a fun relaxing afternoon. What made today so special.
I had something to look forward to, I accomplished several things today, I appreciated my husband, and was able to pray and read God's word with awareness and no distrractions.
It didn't take an extra pill, a doctors appt, or a bunch of tears. Don't get me wrong I belive there is a place and time for any or all of those things. I am just saying for me it was just a matter of accepting a hand reached out to me. Having something planned for the day. Developing a attitude of gratitude for my husband and cooking his breakfast, and concentrating enough on God's word to receive his blessings. All of this was accomplished by continuing to pray every day even in the mist of emotional depression.
Never fear my God is near. thank you Lord