Mar 01, 2015
This past Friday was my last day at the temp job as Interim Residency Coordinator for my college's Pediatric program. I really enjoyed the job and had very few duties the last few weeks of my employment. I got an interview on Monday through asking an old professor for a reference. It's for an accounting job at a radiologist's office. I'm excited but a bit nervous. Even if I get the job, my fear is that I am unqualified. I'm glad to have a couple of reference letters and multiple other offers for them. I remember the reference letter from my last job, which pretty much gave one line: "He is good at networking and Microsoft Excel." Obviously, that one hit the trash can a few months after receiving it, which was a few months longer than it should have been.
All I can say is that I am so grateful for my life, the people in it, the change that God is making in me. While it is very hard for me, I try to treat every day as a gift. I am trying to improve myself by praying more, listening more before I speak, knowing when to speak and the right things to say while doing so.
I've found peace in a lot of ways in my life. I'm going to support meetings 3 out of 7 days a week and should be beginning a Step meeting sometime shortly on Sundays. I can listen to people without judging them as much as I would have before. I'm learning about my inner dialogue and how to change the things that give me a hard time.
I had some trouble with my medicines and not feeling particularly happy. I definitely don't think the changes to my meds, including the timing, was a negative effect. On Friday, I spoke with my p-doc about any changes. He suggested once again upping the Lamictal, this time to 400mg. Haha I'll admit I began to get suspicious GlaxoSmithKline was paying him money to prescribe me more. I asked if we could up the Wellbutrin. He said their fear was me getting 'high' from the increased dose, but that Wellbutrin was not known to do this as much as other meds like Zoloft. I got him to agree to increase the Wellbutrin quite a bit.
But back to the peace. Right now I'm listening to a friend who has had some trouble with the law and anger issues. I'm happy to know how to not give advice but bear witness to the changes that have occurred in my life. If he wants to know, I'll let him know it was God's path that got me here. Through everything, from CBT to learning to about Bipolar and self-esteem. Learning how to deal with pain and reduce the suffering that can come along with it has really helped me a lot. I'm listening to him praise my efforts and the changes he sees in me now, which makes me so proud and humbled at the same time. I'd say humbled. :) Have a great day world, and future me haha