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Sorrow, Sadness, and Helpless

Dec 09, 2009 - 3 comments
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helpless

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sadness

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sorrow

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Pregnancy

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Baby

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years

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Life

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sex



I just don't understand. I was reading a few posts on the teen pregnancy forum because I am amazed and disheartened by some of the questions and I couldn't believe some of the questions and answers. Are our young people today so uneducated and naive that they don't know what can cause pregnancy or don't they realize that having multiple babies at a young age puts those children at risk for doing the same thing or worse? I understand that sometimes 'accidents' happen, but when I read about a 14 year old trying to get pregnant or a 17 year old on their third child, all I can do is cry.

I know there are exceptions and some of these young people will raise wonderful, healthy children, but that is not usually the case. I am just so saddened by the fact that while every baby should be a blessing and celebrated, these children having children are not giving their babies the best start in life. A few of the post completely blew my mind and I just can't image the thoughts that are going through these young girls' heads. When I was that age I knew damn well I didn't want a child and was no way ready for one. I enjoyed my partying and my friends and did not want to be tied down. I used the pill AND a condom every time I had sex and could not image giving up my freedom at that age.

I just feel so much sorrow and sadness for these girls and their babies. I really wish the parents would step up and teach their children to respect themselves and others and about birth control. I am not naive enough to think they will abstain, but they need to be taught to protect themselves not only from pregnancy but from all the STDs out there. Do they not realize that even one act of unprotected sex can result in a baby or worse, it can potentially KILL them???????????

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377493 tn?1356502149
by adgal, Dec 09, 2009
Victoria, as usual, I couldn't agree with you more!  I am all for teaching young people that abstinance is the best choice.  However, the reality is that as teens their peers have far more influence on them then their parents.  Short of locking them in their rooms, or following them around, their is always the chance they will choose to have sex earlier then they should. There are children now 12 and 13 that are sexually active who come from wonderful loving homes.  It is not a reflection on parenting, it's the nature of teens, they make bad choices.  Now take away that understanding of how their bodies work, the risk of pregnancy and all the diseases around out there, if we don't teach them about things like birth control and protecting themselves, we are not doing them a service.  I personally would like to see education on this topic in schools and in the homes. My mother was very against me being sexually active, but when boys became of interest she sat me down and explained birth control, condoms and the potential repercussions of not using them.  She was not condoning anything, just educating me.  I am grateful and plan to do the same with my son. I know I will be offending some in saying this, but I don't believe teaching abstinance only is the best choice.  Just my two cents.  

145992 tn?1341345074
by mami1323, Dec 09, 2009
It is sad and that's why I don't go on that forum anymore.  It was so frustrating to read and then when you try to give your advice you were called an old fart and that we didn't know what we were talking about or they were going to live their life their own way.  So what can you do really?

1039620 tn?1272594004
by Victoria01, Dec 09, 2009
Amanda - I too wish that abstinence would work, but like you said, it's not realistic. Teaching it as the only form of birth control only hurts these kids, as they don't know anything about becoming pregnant or how to prevent diseases when they do have sex. I was having sex at a young age, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend right after I turned 15, but my mother taught me how to protect myself and how to not get pregnant. She didn't condone what I did either, but she understood that being a teenager I was going to probably have sex and she wanted me to know everything I could. My boyfriend was a few years older than me and the relationship actually lasted for three years (very rare at that age). I was never into the 'bed hopping' I hear about today, and just really don't understand it. I had more respect for myself than that.

mami - That forum does depress me, but the reason I go is so that I can understand how these teenagers think. I have a very young son, and one on the way, and I want to know what is going on in these teenagers' mind so I know how to best inform and protect my children when they do get older. I know a lot will change by them, but by hopefully trying to understand I can not allow that to happen to my children. Does that make sense? As for what we can do...all we can do is try to be understanding the best we can and to try and teach them the best we can. We are not their parents nor their friends, but hopefully if just one listens to some advice, maybe that has to be good enough, you know?

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