All Journal Entries Journals

Friends I miss U ALL!! There is something I did not know.

Mar 07, 2015 - 13 comments

I went to a Heart Dr up here in my town. He works with the other Heart Clinic I went to about a hour or more away from my town. I had taken my Mom here before and I really liked how he explains everything..NOW he told me I had a "Mild Heart Attack" way before I went and had that ekg that lead to having all those other test done. HE TOO was very concerned on why the Dr brought me out and said I needed a double by-pass and then took me back and could only get the one stent in. He knew that I lost my parents and other family members last yr all around the same time. He asked me if I felt any thing at all and I told him NO! 4-5 months before I went in is when I just thought it was my esophagus. I do know when I was at the treatment in Sept 2012 I was having heart issues and I told them. I know it was pumping very, very hard and they just thought it was part of the detox. WELL I have NO CLUE when I could of had one. I know I would do my drugs and snort them to get going as I was all spun. Then very late, late I would take the benzo to come down. I could of just been so passed out that I felt nothing.
This is a mystery to me. NOW this new one has me set up for a ego gram and another nuclear stress test. He wants to know where we are. If the one blocked artery is dead around that area then a bypass would not help that area of the heart. HE said that this is the reason I am so so so tired or fatigue all the time. If I can and do have the bypass I would have the blood flow and this would give me way more oxygen.
We talked about all the foods like the GMO and all the times they sprayed the crops as I was growing up. We also talked about all the chems, toxins and so on that we use to clean or at work. Even in the water and air. Well what are we to do?? I told him I always ate pretty healthy and always worked my ash off and hiked all the time growing up. We talked about how Heart and Cancer are killing people all the time and this is why we think it has to do with all the above I mentioned. There is more & more & more out in our world that is killing us.  
Meanwhile he gave me a new med. The one med I stopped was making me real sick. He said I must take all of these even if I always have and had great BP. I told him I came up with tons of natural things to take, but he just smiled and said he would see me back here in 5 yrs for a new stent or I will be dead. HE said he wanted to keep me alive, not die. SO now I have to follow there orders and take all these darn meds. I swore I would never take another man made med in my life when I came clean..Ha! What a joke now. I want to live a bit more so I guess I will keep on the meds and maybe get this bypass done in the future if it is a must!!!!

Now for the past month or so I have been keeping myself busy. I try to go to church 2 times a week and hit both meetings during the week. I have lots of people out there trying to find me a clean friend too. It did take me a little over 2 yrs for ALL Receptors to start clearing up and all those other good receptors and chems and hormones and such. I do feel really, really good up stairs now. Even with this Heart thing, I am still learning and working on living my life clean & sober. I did not like the mental there for awhile. It was driving me nuts too many times to just give up. I am lucky I reads tons of info on this, or I would of thrown the towel in a while back.

Well I have not been on as much as I was for the past 2 yrs but the last 6 months now I have been healing better and better and learning to keep busy as I live my new Life. I love all my friends who have been with me since 2012 and I think of ALL of you often. Maybe some day I well get back and get on long enough to send some notes or PMS. Be good and Be Safe..Love Yas!!!

Post a Comment
1742220 tn?1331356727
by meegWpaw, Mar 07, 2015
well Vickie as I read all of this i am just glad that you are keeping up with everything and seeing the doctor and trying all the things they suggest.  I understand that you did not want to take drugs, but you are right, they are necessary, and they aren't narcotics, so i guess you just have to.  i'm on bp meds and Prozac and im not thrilled about either but both help me a lot so i grin and bear it ... lol.  I am really glad to hear that you are are taking care of yourself Lovely One.  and also i am glad youre doing the meeting thing and out there looking for real live friends!  or one friend!  i am right there with ya sister and i know how hard that can be.  god do i know how hard it is!!!!  but you will find someone soon Vicki you are gregarious and sweet and funny and kind!!!!  it's so good to see you here!  i miss you and wuv you wots!!!!  <3  Meg-Pie

4522800 tn?1470325834
by VICourageous, Mar 07, 2015
Hi my Meg-Pie!!
I have been thinking of you alot. If I ever get back to my home town we will hook up for sure. I know you know, how Fing hard it can be not to walk out that door not knowing someone, anyone who does not use prescribed drugs or street drugs. It has been like this all my life. We can not turn the corner and not see or feel that someone is high!! In my days it was mostly the pot or lsd, heroin or coke & crank..BUT now the prescription are really getting out of hand. AND all the newer drugs I hear about.

I bet it is so nice down that way..I even miss them Santa Anna
Love Girl
Be Safe and Be Good!

Avatar universal
by katmandu516, Mar 08, 2015
Hey Vic-
Read your story. And it has given me the strength to keep on goin'. I'm sorry about your parents, I didn't know. The last time we spoke, you were trying to get your mom into a nursing home and you were mega stressed. I'm also sorry about your heart ailment. Damn, it's always something isn't it? But you are so strong, piece of cake girl. I don't know why you hate man made meds, but you are right, sometimes you just have to take them.

It's so good to hear you are feeling better Vic. I wish you all the very best life has to offer. Be at peace, and always remember you are missed here...

Love ya lots,

Avatar universal
by weaver71, Mar 08, 2015
I miss you too, in my heart and on the phone. We still seem to be on the same pace of recovery, so let me tell you this, it's about to get really obvious why you been trying so hard. Big small, tight hug, thanks for being you.

5986700 tn?1380791380
by spider6, Mar 08, 2015
Dearest Vic could they have missed that?  I often joke (not so funny) with Jeff how my chest is hurting and he's probably giving me a heart attack and he just throws back at me that the headaches he's been getting are probably a brain tumour (not funny), that I am responsible for.  Truth is, we both don't realize how close to being possible those two outcomes could be in real life. We take our lives for granted....still.

I want to say, I wish I could get him to come on MH and read some of the stories of life (and death), yours included Vic, so that he may have more respect for his own life. But.......ummmmmmm..........does anyone see the problem here...........?  .jeeez...!,!  I can't believe I could think it would be an earth shattering, life changing realization for Jeff when I can't see the dang forest through my own trees!!  Aaaaaahaaaaaaa!

See....always learning. And what do I always say too about you Vic always teach me that "my problems are minor, when put against my brother's)  It (you) give me strength through your journey, always.  Be ever mindful of your spirit as you clearly are and continue to heal my friend and blossom the way Cheese intended you to.  Love muchly and love, muchly.  

1551327 tn?1514045867
by Bubulous, Mar 08, 2015
You are an amazing person and I miss you.  I am glad that the mental is inder control and you are happy.  It will likely make a big difference in your healing.
There are a lot of things out there that can kill us now.  Some things we are not even aware of.  Of course we know drugs and cigarettes can kill us but we overlook the receipts and plastics that we are littering our planet with.  We overlook the things in our food thatcan kill us and even in the water.
You are on a journey that makes you seek a lot of answers and I hope you can get them.  If anyone can, it is you.  A thousand times you Vickie.

3197167 tn?1348968606
by clean_in_ks, Mar 08, 2015
So glad you wrote this journal, Vickie~  I had you on my heart a lot yesterday.

It is great news that you are going to go back in for an echo and another nuclear stress test....knowing how you are doing NOW and how much oxygen you are getting will be invaluable!  I know you detest Rx drugs but the ones they want you to continue stopping and starting....can be super important with small vessel disease.

Please know that you are are loved.....and when you feel like it.....let us know how your tests come out, ok?
Loving you....


4522800 tn?1470325834
by VICourageous, Mar 08, 2015
Thanks Everyone!
All of YOU have given me this strength to go on. I just love all of you. I do not have to many to talk to out here in my world anymore. Well of coarse a few, but they still use, so how can they understand...Right??

Yep Bub..Is the government trying to kill us..Hahahaha??????????? They sure can stop some of the foods that have the shiiit in them and the growing of the gmo. OH!! This just Ps me off..Weaver knows alot about

It is so strange to wake up now and have to stay more low keyed. All my life I hiked,ran, ran & ran, walked, walked and walked and talked, talked and talked. lol I told my Hub this and he just smiled, because he Loves me being Mellow now. I drove him nuts all spun and running in circles even way back in the 80s. Talk and Talk, that was the worse. Haha!

I Miss U ALL

4522800 tn?1470325834
by VICourageous, Mar 08, 2015
Thanks Ms Connie Lee..We were writing at the same time.

I too think of You & Hub everyday. I pray for you both here and at Church. I know you have some serious issues too!!

May the Lord hold us all up in these Times of Troubles and give us extra rewards for at least working

I love U Girlfriend!!!!!!!

6990909 tn?1435275816
by jugglin, Mar 08, 2015
So very happy that you are healing.  I know how much it $ucks having to take meds for medical issues...but kudos to you for listening to the docs and doing what needs to be done to keep you healthy.  
I know you have been through so very much...physically and emotionally...and just want you to know how much your story has inspired and helped others.  Each time you share about upping your support and forging through the hand you were dealt, somebody else is moved and stronger for it.  
You are missed and loved!

6669309 tn?1462648142
by breezytoo, Mar 08, 2015
Vicky, Hi hon, missed you! I got a stent back in 2001 and still have it, I have to take Plavix the rest of my life but I have done real well. Maybe its time for a new one though, I will make an apt with a cardiologist how. My friend at work was 30 and guess what he told me when I mentioned getting my one stent? He has NINE of them, he is healthy (except for that) in really good physical shape, (real good!) :)
I will add you to my prayer list and wish you peace and health and happiness girl!! Please don't stress, they do miracles in the medicine field these days. Please stay in touch with us that care very much for you. You are kind, funny and awesome and you have a long long time to live! God bless you honey

Avatar universal
by msdelight, Mar 09, 2015
Hey Vicky love! Oh my goodness girl! Well so glad you found a doctor closer to home and he sounds really good. It ***** about the meds but honey, its not to get high its to live! You take every one of them there meds! And be super careful. You are truly missed around here and we want you back whole and healthy. Keep the faith and be a good patient. Love you very much! Love, Laura xxoo

5051252 tn?1362970368
by asailorswife, Mar 19, 2015

Post a Comment