Mar 24, 2015
Okay well this is going to seem like something so silly and stupid, but i just sat in front of my work for around 45min and wrote 3 paragraphs, and i can not be more proud. 3 paragraphs, to be able to sit here and be so focused for the first time in so long, i am really happy! And when i was almost done the 3 paragraphs, i felt like i had just come back into this world... yes, I was THAT focused! I cant believe i just did that. Wow, i cant believe i thought i was going to just accept that i wasnt going to do well and not even bother trying (as i have an on the spot language analysis tomorrow). I was avoiding it because i was scared of trying. Its a practice essay that i did tonight, and I did not finish exactly, but i did all that i could in that time, and considering i had put it aside for a long time.
I was going to take a break and then keep going, but its 10:40pm, so i am going to get into bed, read a few pages of a book, and go to sleep.I'll do as much as i can tomorrow morning when my mind is fresh and i have had an okay nights sleep.
I went to the parent teacher interviews today, and honestly they werent' as bad as i thought they were going to be. If the teachers looked over EVERYTHING that i havent handed in, the conferences would have probably been even worse (as i was expecting them to be). I think i wanted them to be worse to show me how terrible i am actually doing... but it is what it is. And in this case i will accept it. From now on, its only up. I can not believe what i have done tonight. And it seems like something so little to be proud of... i mean im sure alot of other students can write like 1 page in a whole afternoon... but you know what, this is about what I achieved based on how much i have struggled with getting my work done. Its small compared to other people, but its big compared to the ME.
This is great. :) I guess i can do it after all, i just have to try.
Night all xo