Jul 04, 2008
Day 15 Cold Turkey off Tramadol!
Hello My Friends!
This is for any of us who are going thru Tramadol withdrawal. I hope you find it and I hope it helps comfort you and reassure you. It can be done. There is HOPE. The w/d is a viscous and rabid dog from H-E double toothpicks.
The voice of the drug (the antidepressant part of it and Not the synthetic opiate part) is dark and made me feel suicidal ideation the entire time I was taking it. Withdrawals have given me nightmares that really do look like a low budget horror film starring yours truly. But the thoughts belong to the DRUG itself. Those are not your thoughts. Make no mistake, this drug has a very distinct voice. It is evil evil stuff
*kicks Tramadol in the head again hard!*
I woke up this morning and could actually easily get out of bed, feel good, head is clear. WOW!
I'm enjoying the nice crisp cool morning we're having and I have a little orange tabby cat curled up over my heart purring madly as I write this. A few days ago his purring would have been too loud for me to be able to stand. I had such incredible sensitivity to light, sound, people, loud noise. It truly was like having a migraine and having the flu and having my back injuries all at the same time. Add in zero appetite. And no sense of thirst. (Weird!)
Anyhow I am over here feeling like Snow White; wanna sing and dance and have birds come help me put on my dress! Totally amazing and I have to remember it, so I am writing about it.
The withdrawal from the combination of drugs I was taking for my back pain comes and goes so fast and so wickedly that I'm not scared now because I know its pattern. It is a pattern called; completely RANDOM! I woke up yesterday feeling like I was run down by a truck and I have had only two days since cold turkey that I did NOT wake up feeling that way.
At the moment I have only a very small headache. I also have supplies that I got yesterday. These include massive amounts of good for me foods. I think I will try to repost the list I found of "good foods" (Hey, Dudes, WATERMELON is on it!) but I also bought a good deal of multi-mineral-vits that can be dissolved in water. Boxes of Emergen-C.
Now the withdrawal pains have vanished. They might come back today or not. It's completely unpredictable.
One thing that happened? I woke up last night at the typical 1-2 am mark and usually the pain would have made me crawl out of bed and run for the ice packs. Last night I woke up and then fell right back to sleep. So I have actually had about 8-9 solid hours of sleep.
I do think that staying (Or being forced to stay active) after the hardest withdrawals is good. I am guessing that I am done with the hardest withdrawal. Days 1-4 I remember the sweat, the chills, the feeling of being freezing and burning. I couldn't make it down he stairs to get water. I remember sitting up at the top of the stairs thinking ... "I need water but I can't get down there." Walking into walls. Or rather, just being unable to walk a straight line. Incredible pain in all of my joints but esp in the injured joints.
Tramadol seems to intensify pain, and make you believe you need to take more, until the pain is unbearable. I have begged my husband to take me to the ER more times than I can remember in the last year from my back injury. One thing I forgot to mention was that I has another accident 8? 9? months ago and it irritated the old injuries again.
But yeah, I was mixing other drugs in there. Anything I could get. (I have no insurance) Codeine, Vicodin, Percoset, and then I remember thinking OK NOW I AM CRAZY when I was drinking big tumblers of WINE on top of it all. It wasn't to look for being high however. It was to look for NO PAIN. Or at least less pain.
What I did not know was that the Tramadol was increasing the pain.
But I know now.
To summarize for any poor souls who have managed to find this place and are coming off Tramadol; Days 1-7 are unbearable in my experience. Use the Thomas Detox and relax into the pain and don't be afraid of the pain because that only makes it worse.
The pain was unrelenting and it did not let me sleep. Any sleep I did get was with a heating pad pushed against my belly (highly recommend a heating pad) and Ice packs all over my back and an ice pack literally Velcro-ed to my burning right foot where there is nerve damage.
I can't begin to tell you how much it hurt.
Ok let me attempt. It hurt it hurt it hurt it was horribly painful. Razor blade pain ... beaten with a bat, run over by a truck, standing on the train tracks painful. (I so don't want to forget HOW sick I was from withdrawal)
I felt like my skin was going to burn off and at the same time, the center of my body felt like the Arctic Circle. So cold. Chills. Sweat that felt like sick sweat. Headache so bad it felt like constant migraine. I didn't want to speak to anyone. People's voices were distorted and loud. They sounded like very loud parrots. The glorious AvisG suggested that I get outside and get some light. think that was maybe day 8? And I couldn't even conceive of how I would do that!? It seemed like Mission Impossible!
I discovered the mighty powers of SUNGLASSES! YAY for sunglasses when you are deep in withdrawal. I was wearing them inside for awhile. I could barely see the computer screen. The words on the screen would shake. At one point; June 30th so not long ago. My husband was explaining something mathematical to me. Having to do with numbers and it felt like my brain was being stabbed with an ice pick. Because apparently Tramadol will mess with your ability to think with numbers!?
I can tell you that I am physically very very very strong and I thought to myself, "There's such a huge chance that if this happened to anyone else, they would need to be in a rehab or they would lose their mind for the pain and go to the ER; where they would be told Tramadol has no withdrawal symptoms and isn't an opiate or a dangerous drug."
Look out Kid! It's Something You Did!
By day 10 I was feeling pretty good.
By Day 12 I went back to work and B-12 sublinguals saved me and I was able to work a full 11 hour day.
Day 13 was hard, and I had w/d symptoms. I worked part of that day as well. And I managed to get to the eye doctor. Which was alot since days 1-7 I was terrified of people and wouldn't have been able to do it. Days 1-7 I also LOOKED like I was very very sick. Whiter than white skin, clammy, I had to ask a group of online hairdressers how to detangle my hair, because I had a big sorta tangle mess going on. It was painful to comb my hair.
Day 14 was also a day when I was supposed to work 11 hours, but cut the day short. I had to go banking, and then to the market and I did it! By then I was even keeping amino acids down on an empty stomach. The aminos really really help. So do the vitamins that are liquid. This literal cocktail (Tramadol was the man part of it) of drugs I was taking really ripped up my stomach and I suspect my kidneys and my liver.
Day 15 ... Oh so good so far!
I know it will come and go but I am fine with that because I feel like myself again. Not like someone else. I really had no clue that I was slowly and gradually falling apart and that Tramadol was the main culprit.
I know you can do it. The pain is only a temporary thing. Just flow with it. Pretend it is a very bad flu and do everything you can to help yourself. I was lucky in that my husband knew about all the pills and has been supportive. He can't really understand the way you all do, but he has tried and that's a beautiful thing.
I had to laugh yesterday when I came home from shopping. I asked for help getting the groceries out of the car and I hugged him. He looked at me and said, "What's going on with you? Why do you look that way?" (meaning pale, sickly, weak, exhausted) And I said, "I took Tramadol?" He thought I meant that I had actually found and taken Tramadol which he has and has hidden somewhere in the house. I laughed and said, "No Sweetheart, I didn't take it today! I mean I took it for 3-4 years and this is what at home withdrawal looks like! I would rather eat RAT POISON than take a single capsule of Tramadol!"
Guess Tramadol isn't my DOC!?? I have no cravings. Oh and it took me a long time to figure out what DOC meant. Drug of Choice. I was thinking; are they talking about Documents? Why are they continually talking about linked computer documents. My poor brain!
Luckily; it's recovering! Yesterday I even talked to my husband in a mathematical way; using numbers and everything! Hooray for the returning hero!!! Yay for my brain!
Love and healing to all,