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Jul 05, 2008 - 0 comments

Man oh man Dylan Dylan Dylan. Maybe Im depressed or something and just need people to talk to. I am going to call the womens health centre on Monday they have free counceling I am sure that can help me alot. I feel like everytime things need to be done its never going to get done by Dylan unless I have to ask him to. He has laundry he needed to put away and dishes to do I felt like I had to bug the **** out of him for him to finally do something. There never been once where I saw him do something without having to tell him!!! It brings me down. He seems to be working a lot more now which I am so happy about, feeling that he is actually moving forward a little more with having a job, but still he just got lucky because this is a part-time job and I guess since its the summer right now there is more going on. We are on Ontario Works (welfare I guess you could call it) but I dont want to be on it, really the only reason we are is because Dylan doesnt have a full-time job. I dont know why he isent so motivated, he has so much to live for in his life. I brought him into my home so he can have a good place to stay in and be able to get connected to his daughter again, I was working so whats with the low motivation? He has his parents to go to and talk to and get money off of them when he needs it, not like mine, they pretty much disowned me. Long story about that. I love the guy so much I just dont understand him. What going through his head. He doesnt talk much about problems or just how he feels. Everytime we have "the talk' Im doing 95% of the talking and he ends up just saying I dont know what to say. I dont expect much from him, just to do his chores, get a full-time job and show me the love and support I need from him.
But the job he always says he can never get a good enough job, but then I tell him in order to get a better job you need to start out at I guess you can say a pretty ****** job then work your way up, like if you want to save up for other training that gives you a better job the crapper one gets you to do that. We dont pay for much, rent is cheap and we dont have cable or utilites to pay so I mean if we budget, which I think i am great at doing he is able to get that done. I tell him I am here to support him as well but I dont know what to do for him anymore nothing seems to change, I dont want him to change, just his habits and thoughts, 'cause franky a person can never change. I know he can do good just what the hell does he need to get through his head that everythings will be okay if you start doing what you need to do!!

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