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Jul 05, 2008 - 12 comments

wow, i have not told most of you the main reason for my oxy abuse.  when my daughter was 16, she went to a wedding of a friend from school, she came home about midnight to change and brought the grooms sister's lil girl while she changed togo to a party and was gonna take this baby back to her mom AT THE PARTY.  ummm, no.  i told her the baby stayed and they could pick her up the next day.  the next day actually turned out to be 6 weeks later, her mom finally callled and wanted to come get her.  she was 9 months old and we had fallen totally in love with her.  her name was asia rain.  i found out at that meeting the parents were mutiple drug users, the mom was pregnant again anf had 4 kids already.  well, i told her if she needed a sitter for asia again just call med.  1 week later, she called said she was having problems could i keep asia for a bit.  well in the next 5 months i heard from her twice.  she never called the 2 times she did she didnt even ask about asia.  once ir twice along the way seh went to visit her parents for a day or 2.  i would drop by occasonally anlet them see her.  long story short asia is 5 years old i get al call her father had o'd.  i kept her 6 more months and then the grandma sued me for custody of her.  well, i was no kin and grandma won.  uuggghhhh....she did not know this grandma.  the mom was tested by social services and had no say.. she failed every drug test. so her grandmother picked her up and we were no longer able to see her at all.  she cried and begged not to go...she was six and the judge said she has to go to her family.  can we say downward spiral.  my tmj was flaring up the pain meds deadened the hurt and  i spiraled outta contol.   oxys helped.  i did talk to her twice in the 2 years on the phone...she cried to come home.  well, this weekend after 2 years i get call from her aunt asking if i wanted to keep her for the 4th and 5th......can i say needless to say we are thankful for the time we had with her.  it was a joy.  and even better she is coming back before she starts school in 3 weeks.  thank you GOD.   i will post pics pf her soon.  she is an angel.  okay thanks for listening,

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Avatar universal
by joann1975, Jul 05, 2008
That is such a sweet thing you did for her. Asia will ALWAYS remember you guys and know what good people you are. I wish judges could see that sometimes family isn't always best....where was that G-ma all the time you had her before. I know that God works in mysterious ways and you guys were in each others lives for reasons you may never know.

BTW I couldn't fault you for getting hooked on anything after that. It hurts to have a child taken out of your life in any circumstances!

I am so happy for you guys....can't wait to see the pics!!!


Avatar universal
by gator145, Jul 07, 2008
Wow Cathy,

I got your note and am sending thanks your way...It is always special when someone thinks of others.....I love the pics .....Asia is such a beautiful child be sure to let her know she is loved by her family here at med help.....
You just continue doing what you are doing for that little girl......She knows where the love is.....Don't make any waves and bide your time..... Asia will always be drawn to you ....Also that is the best way for you to see what is going on in her life......I was a foster child when I was very young.... We remember who loved us and who didn't....

You are a very special person to take another womans child and treat them as your own flesh.....Always knowing  the trouble other family members can start..... In spite of the ever present pain that can come from this you still continued  to care....That shows what a remarkable person you are......Some of the best mothers in the world are foster mothers..... Your family is special also to do what they have done for Asia....
Out of all the homes I was in as a child, there is one that stands out as caring the most......

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by cathy5841, Jul 07, 2008
gator, thank you for sharing that with me.  it gives me so much hope.  even though she was only 6 when she left and its been 2 year she remembered everything about us.  lol  we had a blast!!!!

Avatar universal
by catlvr, Jul 08, 2008
thats such a heartwarming yet gut wrenching story, sorry i have had a lot of problems.  stephanie
P.S. see my post, hopefully it will explain some of my background and how i got here.

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by bobby139, Jul 09, 2008
Cathy you never stop amazing me on what a great lady you are...I am so glad that asia is back in your life and at her age she is not going to stop letting them know she wants to be with you. she is so beautiful

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by cathy5841, Jul 09, 2008
thanks Bobby.  you are terrific yourslef.  this was the best fourth of july ever for us.  and we think she is beautiful too.  she is definately a poppas girl.

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by jessejames31, Jul 09, 2008
someone needs to look into these retarded laws. if someone is raising a child, that person should be entitled to keep custody. i know theres a thin line here, it's just that this story jerks on the heart strings.. this hurts the child so much, it's not in their best interest ..   i'm so sorry this happened to you.  -jesse-

Avatar universal
by kim715, Jul 10, 2008
As I read your words my eyes filled with tears.I am going through a little bit of a similar situation,and I absolutley agree with Jessie,some of these laws need to be changed.I'm soooooooooo Happy for you that you get to see her again.God bless you.   Peace..........Kim

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by dominosarah, Jul 10, 2008
What a beautiful child.  She is very lucky to have you.               sara

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by momeluv, Jul 11, 2008
My heart bleeds for you!  I am so sorry for the chaos!  I am an addict.  I gave my kids to my folks for a while while I got my shiot together.  I never abandoned them.  I either saw them or talked to them everyday.  But my parents didn't want to give them back.  But they did.  However the damage was done.  My kids have issues that I may never live down.  My parents ruined them.  Your story is nothing like mine.  Really?  I just thought I'd let you know I know how you feel.  I had a similar situation with my nephew when my sister was all strung out.  God Bless!

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by trikkinikki, Oct 17, 2008
Dear Cathy,
I was a foster child. My mom became ill when I was 7 and never fully recovered. My dad didnt want me, or anyone else in the family. My post is about my sister who was 4 at the time. She was placed in a terrible foster home. We would see her on fridays when I finally was able to be placed with my mom. The thing is she was given up for adoption when she was 5, my mom just gave up herself and her children. My father was given the ultimatium to take me or I was to become a ward of the state. I came to vegas with him, my mom went into a hospital and my baby sister was given to a wonderful family like yours. When she was 18 many years later I found her...She was so well adjusted and beautiful as a person I thought all was well. Like she was the one that got away. Come to find out she was so messed up inside from all that we had gone thru in her formative years that she just could not get over it...she was a mess...I tried to help...tried to reunite her with our mother, and my older sister who never went to foster care, my dad wanted her...The situation became so negative that I had to walk away. The meaning behind all this is that Asia will see you as her mother or grandmother...she will deal with where she is but always want you and what you gave, safety and support. I have learned from personal experience that a child will always return to home...just wait and see...I believe in God's power to bring this child back into your life permantly!!!! She is almost old enough to decide for herself...I hope you will understand that I am not intruding on your personal life...just sharing my story to give you hope. I hope its ok to write.

Avatar universal
by princess2000, Nov 17, 2008
I am a former Child Protective Service Worker.  I am so sorry that happened to you.  I just left August 1, after 10i years.  Judges think they are God!  I agree, that family is not always to best thing for a child.  That is the way it  is, unfortunatley.  The reason I left the agency is I was trying to adopt 3 children, that were in need of a home.  I am very fortunate to say I am financally able to take on three kids.  (ages twin girls2, and a 7 year old brother).  The Bio mom was not able to take care of them, and asked me if I could take them.  I decided to resign, so that I could take her kids and raise them.  This was a decision myself and my husband thought through very hard.  We decided to do it.  The agency fought me on it, due to me being an employee, and knew about the case.  I lost, and those children are in foster homes right now.  Its very sad, and what is the kicker, is the mom wanted me to have them, and I wanted them as well.  They knew me, and loved me, but because I was not family, and was a CPS worker, I was not granted custodyy.  I was planning on staying home with them, rather than to put them in Daycare, as they had already been through enough.  That is just not right!!!!  I had so many people behind me, but the people up at Austin, shoot me down, all because I was an employee and they were in my region.  Now they said if they were out of region, it would be ok.  Something is so wrong with that picture, dont you think so.    


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