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what to do...

Aug 04, 2015 - 7 comments

So my husband and I have a rocky relationship.  One minute he's all in and a few months later he isn't in to it at all and is thinking about leaving.  That is where we are now.  He texts me now and says this girl at work asked him to go camping on Friday.  I test back wait you or us?  I don't think it can be just you with a girl.  He texts back no not just me Claudia and Derrick too.  Two other people on his work team.  Don't know if they are married or single but I know the one who invited him is single.  I just replied hmmm.  My initial reaction is are you ******* kidding me?  But my other reaction is **** it, if you are gonna cheat your gonna cheat camping or not.  In fact he goes by himself to Peru to visit family and then onto Rio brazil by himself and could cheat there.  I hate being controlling this is not my first rodeo, being my second marriage and am not at all into being someones mother and if he thinks it is a good thing to go then go for it, will it affect my desire to be in this relationship, probably but he has been killing my feelings towards him for years with all the flip flopping he does.  Oh by the way since I got back from disney (with the kids) we have only had sex 3 times in almost 6 weeks.  Before then he was always trying at least 4 times a week.  So theres that

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982214 tn?1471454781
by krichar, Aug 04, 2015
Well for starters... I'm sorry this is happening again :( and second... over my dead body!! Regardless how "he's feeling" he made a commitment. To you and the kids and he needs to stick by it. No galavanting alone on camping trips with other women... it would be different if it was guys weekend but he had the nerve to see is it was ok to go with a single girl??,does she know he has a family?? Or has that escaped his mind while.at work? I get you guys are in a rough place right now but that doesn't mean it's ok!!

296076 tn?1371334474
by melimeli, Aug 04, 2015
She knows he is married and it with 2 other work people who happen to be a guy and girl so it makes it seem like a couple thing...  She is young though.  like in her 20's .  He is 38.  He got home from work and has not mentioned it...

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Aug 04, 2015
I don't even know what to say....

296076 tn?1371334474
by melimeli, Aug 04, 2015
yea...

1742167 tn?1436471720
by heather727, Aug 05, 2015
I'm with you on the part where if he's going to cheat, he'll cheat and he won't need a special camping trip to do it. I think what you need to do is sit down with him and tell him how this made you feel. He's pulling away again, physically, emotionally and literally (he's vacationing in another country - by himself!) and that makes you feel alone. I would suggest to him that he use his time in Peru and Rio to figure out what he wants and that you'll expect a definitive answer upon his return. In the mean time, put a plan in place for yourself and your kids as to what you'll do if he decides he really does want out.

On the other hand, I would also take that time to figure out what YOU want. You don't have to be with someone that isn't 100% sure of what he wants. You have every right to decide for yourself what you want your life to look like. You don't need him to be happy.

And as far as the camping thing goes, that's his decision. He just needs to know that you may 'accidentally' spray his sleeping bag with Bear pheromones. bwahahaha

1386655 tn?1452097056
by journey2motherhood, Aug 05, 2015
I'm so sorry.  I really hope that you can find a way of doing what is best for you.  xoxo

296076 tn?1371334474
by melimeli, Aug 09, 2015
by the way he didn't go, we didn't discuss it,he just didn't go

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