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Nearing the Beginning of the End!

Jul 08, 2008 - 1 comments

Scared of Withdrawal

  I have had some kind of addiction since I was 14 yrs old. First,drinking then came pot. You know because when your 16 it not a gateway drug. Right, not for alot well I happen to get the wonderful gene of more,more more. Then I broke something and the Dr. gave me some Lortabs,well that was that where have you been all my life. I didn't have to feel anything.Then met my ex-wife had 2 beautiful daughters,and got worse couldn't work,play,smile without opiates.Fastforward lost them and her hit many rock bottoms,many rehabs that winged me for 14 days with Subutex.Well,I wasn't ready to stop cause that meant I had to feel.I got blessed by getting my daughters back.Well,long story short I now am on what I  thought was a great thing Suboxone.I'm so scared of the withdraws from this drug it's crazy.It has made my life so much better,but,I don't know if I can handle the withdrawals.

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by EmilyPost, Jul 09, 2008
Hi Single Dad;

Ok I'm laughing about not being able to find the light switch .... yeah ... in more ways than one that is for sure! I remember forgetting MY NAME!  that was BAD!  No one knows how BAD a disc injury can hurt.

I would like to talk about it; thank you!  I'm really sorry to hear that you have the same condition. I was very lucky in some ways. Like; when I decided that I wasn't going to get surgery and I was going to lose all my excess body weight; that was an excellent decision. It's so stupid because it took over a year to do that, and when I reappeared at my Doctor's Office and told her that I had lost 60 pounds her response was, "On purpose?"

I literally couldn't believe it. Because I had been eating so well, I looked incredibly healthy! You certainly wouldn't have mistaken me for a cancer patient at that point.

I think you know still being in withdrawal from something that you aren't even supposed to get withdrawals from is pretty infuriating! I woke up this morning at 5 am literally doubled over in pain from the intestinal pain. I guess there's opiate receptors all over the intestine and they are mad that I'm not giving them the poison. It's in the house, and I even know where it is! But I don't care. I'm never ever taking that again.

So I think Tramadol aka Ultram was just hiding from me how much I had healed. My back pain today is extremely mild. Barely even notice it. EVEN my foot, which has nerve damage isn't giving me a problem and I'm at work wearing the super high heels hat are so In right now. Actually, my high heels help because they take the pressure off the hamstrings where the sciatic nerve is pinched.

Obviously NOT an option for you Single DAD! LOL!

So, I see you stopped Suboxone? And you are in withdrawal? This is your second day? Yeah, you're scared. Understandable. For me Days 1-4 I pretty much just thought I was going to die. Opiates. They have that awful voice of EVIL ... that wicked voice and the sleeplessness? Is it that way with Suboxone as well?

I'm so grateful that you were graced with getting your girls back. I can't imagine what kind of pain you have been in to have lost them. The pain of withdrawal is physical and mental and emotional so I am sure alot of INTENSE feeling will come up. I think you can handle them if you just keep telling yourself it is normal in withdrawal to feel awful. PLUS there's moments of complete relief ..... so that's good!

Let me know how you are? I'd love to have a person to write to, as I feel a little um ... exposed and vulnerable and if people are unkind to me, it makes me feel so horrible. It's all exaggerated and crazy. So ... write back ok? Let me know how you are!

You'll be going thru alot and it sure helps to talk to someone who has been going thru it too you know?

Are you now using the Thomas recipe, lots of hot baths and Epsom salts and vitamins and minerals?

Love and healing;

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