Aug 16, 2015
I've gained weight for real after telling people frequently over the years that I've put weight on when I haven't. I recovered from Anorexia and Bulimia, but have noticed myself being too relaxed about my food consumption. I recognize that I eat more whilst drunk. I have also had 'menopausal' weight gain. A lot of bad stuff is going on for me in life right now, including the passing of my Father. However, it's frightening me that I am wanting to die mostly because of my weight. I am bloated at present, which has bought on an uncomfortable wave of panic, and a stronger urge to die. I don't want anybody to see me at this size; and won't be able to 'go through' the help I need.
My weight is the be all and end all now. I can't think straight (not drunk at present!). Can anybody give me some calm? Death is my own answer :-\ Beanie0