Sep 02, 2015
I'm up at 2 am because I ate Alfredo. My nose is clogged and runny, I am breathing with my shoulders and ribcage. My stomach is bloated. I also believe my dehydration has a lot to do with it. I have been trying to drink more water, but I fail every day. The reason I contribute this to is: laziness. When there isn't any bottled water in the house it is worse. I have a brita pitcher, but won't take the time to make a glass. Idea! Make a huge mug of it like my parents! sometimes I am so dense.
I really cannot sleep after eating after 7pm. Anything really. When I was growing up I refused to eat dinner and now I know why. When I did eat, I always ate just enough that I was still slightly hungry. I suppose my anxiety disorders is contributing to lack of food control. It is not that I care about gaining weight (50%) it is about feeling better and not guilty for abusing my heart. I want to eat healthier for my children's sake. The guilt from this uncontrolled eating weighs heavily on my soul. So much so that sometimes I vomit. I have watched my triggers for binging: boredom, fatigue, and anger.
Oh, I also have a habit of breathing with my rib cage and shoulders because of my asthma. Now it is because I over eat. This habit has made my muscles so tight that I am physical therapy.