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Day dreams...

Mar 02, 2010 - 1 comments

I absolutely could not sleep last night. We are ttc and if I am or do get pregnant who is to say that the same thing won't happen all over again. My precious Hunter never got the chance to live outside of me. I know it is the chance we are taking and my dh says try to stay positive. I can't help the what ifs in my mind though. I finally got to sleep around 4am and when I woke up I was thinking of Hunter. I was almost daydreaming about his little feet and hands, how incredibly perfect he was in my eyes. The nurses did a mold of his feet and hands and it turned out great. I am so thankful that I have that because his actual prints did not turn out well. Now as time goes by everything feels like a dream. It is sad, I don't want to forget any detail. I should be 25 weeks with a round belly feeling his kicks and hiccups, but here I am empty. Thanks I just needed to vent.  

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1227139 tn?1462334630
by Dragon1973, Mar 03, 2010
Wow Hun.  I can't even tell you how this makes me feel for you.  I know you don't want any sadness from others, and I want to be able to cheer you up.  But in a nutshell, I don't know how I would cope either.  I am glad you have a mold of Hunter's ands and feet.  What a wonderful thing to have in his memory.  It is something you will never forget, nor will you ever get over it, but little by little you will be able to breath easier, and just to be able to breath again makes life worth living.  Time truly is a healer of all things.  Hang on, it will get easier.  Maybe down the road, you can make your journals into a book?  Something to think about, therapeutic for you, and maybe helpful for someone else.

Still with you,
Sandi

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