Mar 07, 2010
I'm feeling really down today and it could be for a lot of reasons. I went out drinking a couple of nights ago and missed a bunch of sleep, which caused me to have a lazy day yesterday. So yesterday I did several things trying to "relax and recover" which are behaviors for me typically associated with depression. Increased caffeine and sugar, not wanting to get up off the couch, more TV, slacking at work, not keeping track of calories, no energy and no interest in doing anything but sleeping. Oh, and I forgot my medication for 2 days in a row.
Today I woke up feeling really sad, just wanting to cry about everything for no reason. I didn't want to get up, just wanted to go back to sleep. I'm feeling better after trying, though. I got up and cleaned up and did a bunch of chores to stay busy, ate some breakfast, and opened all the windows. I put on some music and got cleaned up (because I work from home I spend most of the day in my pajamas anyway but sometimes getting dressed like I'm going to the office can help to change my mood).
I'm a little scared because I need to taper off my medication in order to get pregnant, but I'm not sure how I'm going to feel without it. I don't want to start feeling horrible again. I need to remember that my depression is manageable if I am careful, and I get enough sleep and exercise, and if I continue my healthy eating habits. I am feeling better already after just a little bit of effort to make some changes this morning.