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Requesting some prayers please

Sep 24, 2015 - 32 comments

If anyone has some spare prayers they could send, that would be great.

My father in law went in for some surgery about a week or so ago. He had some lumps on his neck to be removed. Should have been a pretty simple surgery as he'd had a similar procedure done about 6 months ago behind his ear with no complications.

Well the surgery was not so simple. When the Dr opened him up, the lumps were determined to be cancer.

My mother in law was a nurse for over 40 years, so she knows the procedures and protocols inside out and backwards. She was told by the surgeon's receptionist that she would have a follow up appointment the next morning with the surgeon to see what happens next....course of action, treatment, etc.

So she calls the surgeon's office the next morning and finds out that the surgeon has left and is on his way to Ottawa. Which is 8 hours from here! Really?!?! Are you f*cking kidding me??? You just found out that your patient has cancer and you can't be bothered to meet with his wife to discuss what happens next.

So the receptionist booked a follow up appt for Tuesday which was 2 days ago. They only spoke to the nurse!! The surgeon didn't even come into the room to talk to them!! What kind of Dr doesn't follow up with his patient?!?! So needless to say my mother in law is beyond p!ssed.

We went to visit them at home on Sunday to see how he was doing. Wow I was not prepared for that. The whole left side of his face looked like it was paralyzed. His face was droopy, and his left wasn't even blinking. And he had a huge lump on the side of his face right by his eye. He looked so frail and awful. I literally had to hold back tears and so did hubby.

We are all really thinking it's a possibility that the Dr hit a nerve (which would explain the paralyzed look). And the Dr doesn't want to meet with them cause he knows he f*cked up.

So I'm asking for some prayers of healing. Thank you everyone

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1816154 tn?1463430018
by hansen20, Sep 24, 2015
I will keep you and your family in my prayers hun!

982214 tn?1471454781
by krichar, Sep 24, 2015
I'm so sorry S... sending prayers your way

Avatar universal
by Belle313, Sep 24, 2015
That sound absolutely awful. I'm so sorry & upset something like this has taken place. Have they referred him to an oncologist yet? They tend to have a better bedside manner.  It also sounds like it's time to collect his records and transfer care or at least get a 2nd opinion. Will keep your FIL & EOE in my prayers for some answers, guidance and healing.

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Sep 24, 2015
Thanks Lisa and K.

Something in my gut is telling me that this is Dr incompetency. I told my hubby that they should talk to a lawyer. He did have a valid point saying that they have other things to worry about. Which they do yes, but at the same point this shouldn't have happened. It's probably different here in Canada then in the U.S. Here, you typically sign a form stating you don't hold the Dr responsible if something happens.

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Sep 24, 2015
I don't know E. I don't think much of anything has happened. They can't even talk to the Dr.

He definitely does need to see another Dr. I think it's a little hard on mom though. They're both in their mid 80's. If something happened to him, it would kill her. They've been married 62 years

982214 tn?1471454781
by krichar, Sep 24, 2015
Yes it's a lot different here... I hope that Dr responds soon... he needs to explain what happened.  Hopefully it's just a temporary side effect that just needs time to fix itself. Is it possible he had a stroke during surgery? The paralysis is what makes me think that especially at his age. Regardless the dr needs to show up and explain

3197167 tn?1348968606
by clean_in_ks, Sep 24, 2015
Praying for ALL of you, Shannon♥

Avatar universal
by msdelight, Sep 24, 2015
Shanny you and the family are in my prayers which could be powerful since the pope will be un my hometown tonight. In my humble opinion, that doctor messed up and and didn't want to face them. But you have plenty of time for lawsuits. Priority one is to get him to a new doctor asap. The nerve damage is not reversible but he needs treatment for his cancer asap. BIG prayers coming your way.

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Sep 24, 2015
Oh Shannon how horrible.  I'll definitely be keeping you all in my prayers, especially your FIL.  So sorry about the news.  :(

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by VICourageous, Sep 24, 2015
Oh Shannon
I am so sorry to hear this. I sure am sending a Prayer or more out!

I have to agree about the new Dr. When I had seen my first Heart Dr he told me what was wrong after he was up in the Heart. Brought me out and told me I would need a Double Bypass. I told him I had NO insurance (at that time) and he took me back and got One stent put in. Come ON!! Why in the F did you not do that at first. I went to a NEW DR and he got that second stent in, that the first Dr would not even try to do. SO Yes, some of them just do not want to mess with you, or admit they did wrong and I am so sorry that it sometimes becomes a money issues for them too..WTF! Where are the Good Dr at??

Sending out a Prayer for All involved here.

3233386 tn?1447024695
by mandaszoo, Sep 24, 2015
Oh Shannon so sorry to hear this terrible news. Your poor FIL and MIL. Disgusting treatment, how unprofessional and awful  that the surgeon could not give his time to explain the future treatment and how procedure went. I would say is there any way he can get to see another surgeon in the hospital or someone high up in the management team.
Sending prayers your way x

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by KTowne, Sep 24, 2015
Oh no shannon!! I'm praying for him and your family!!

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Sep 24, 2015
K - Mom had that thought too. But wouldn't you think if it was that, that the Dr would say something? But I don't know anything about this Dr, so who knows...

Thank you for your prayers cik.

Thank you msd. That's what has crossed our minds too is that he messed up and doesn't wanna face the music. I guess only time will tell. I really hope we're just reading way too much into this. I'm hoping they request a second opinion.

The cancer definitely needs to be treated. I don't know about anyone else, but cancer scares the sh!t out of me. It can be so aggressive. And it does not discriminate against anyone.

Thank you for your prayers Des

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Sep 24, 2015
You ladies are all so awesome! I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.

Oh Vic I'm sorry you experienced that. Some Dr's just need a good smack upside the head with a stick. I do hope they consult with a new Dr. The treatment he received was despicable. Thank you for your prayers.

Thank you for your prayers manda. Disgusting treatment indeed. If they don't consult a Dr, I do hope they at least call the college of Dr's about this. He needs to be reported so this doesn't happen again.

Thank you for your prayers K.

Avatar universal
by Belle313, Sep 24, 2015
My gut says he messed up too S. Some docs have large GOD complexes. Does that make sense? My neuro did and never admitted to permently messing me up. Your inlaws need to get some treatment for the C. I can't even imagine how they must be feeling right now. My heart goes out to them and you all. I'm so sorry.

1742220 tn?1331356727
by meegWpaw, Sep 24, 2015
Shanny just getting here.  i will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.  it is so awful that this happened.  i hope you are doing ok.  ♥

1217293 tn?1467354344
by Risa615, Sep 25, 2015
Sending hugs! I hope your father inlaw feels better soon. It is so hard when people we love are sick. I hope you get better news at his next appt.

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by spider6, Sep 25, 2015
So sorry to hear this shanny.  Sending prayers honey.  Xoxo

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Sep 25, 2015
I know exactly what you mean E. They think they can do no wrong, they're better then everyone else. There are a few of them running around here. I can't imagine either. I know how I'm feeling, and I'm sure it's much worse then that.

Thanks meegs. I'm doing okay. I'm sure better then what they are.

Thank you risa. Yes it is very hard. Especially when they're usually a strong person. My father in law and brother in law own a body shop in town. And before this, he was still in the shop every day puttering around, doing repairs. Even at the age of 86.

Thank you spidey.

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by Hollus, Sep 26, 2015
Shannon, I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this! I would strongly encourage you to ask for FIL's medical records. You could tell the hospital that you are taking him to another facility to get a second opinion. Then have your MIL take a look. She'll probably be able to tell if they did hit a nerve or nerves and then you could go from there and maybe hire an attorney. This SUKS when this happens. I hope that the nerves are just temporarily deadened from surgery and that he will have a full recovery! I will be praying for your family for comfort, peace, wisdom, healing and strength. Love and hugs my friend!!

1386765 tn?1451164337
by pb95, Sep 26, 2015
Sending prayers and hope you get some news soon.

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Sep 28, 2015
Thank you hollus and pb.

We went to visit him again yesterday. He looked a lot better then he did last week. He was actually up and moving around a bit. But his face still looks awful. His left eye is still not blinking. Mom has to put drops in his eye because the socket looks like it's drooping and I guess it's drying out because there's no protection for his eye now.

They have an appointment tomorrow with the Dr and they're sure that they're actually going to get to see him. By what mom said, it sounds like they're gonna check for nerve damage. They definitely need to do that. Hoping if there is, that it's just temporary.

1816154 tn?1463430018
by hansen20, Sep 28, 2015
I'm still praying for you and your family hun. I'm happy to hear that he's doing a little better.

Avatar universal
by 10356, Sep 28, 2015
I'm sorry I'm so late but I have read this and wanted to say How sorry I'm and that my Prayers will be added to the many others. I'm so relieved they will be seeing the Dr. for sure I hope they come out with more knowledge and a plan.. lesa

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Sep 28, 2015
Thanks Hansen and Lesa.

I hope they come out with some knowledge too. They need a plan--a course of action. We need to know what kind of cancer this is, how treatable it is. There's still a lot of unandwered questions. So hopefully tomorrow some of those questions will be answered

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by mhv, Sep 28, 2015
Prayers coming!!!

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by TinaR10, Sep 28, 2015
Praying for u

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by Tuckamore, Sep 29, 2015
You and your have my prayers. What a sad situation. None of us know what tomorrow brings - we have to live every day to it's fullest. My heart goes out to your in-laws and family.

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Sep 29, 2015
Thank you Melissa and Tina.

Thank you Tuck. That is so true. No one is ever promised tomorrow.

Avatar universal
by namnam46, Sep 29, 2015
Oh Shannon!  I'm so very sorry to hear what your Father-in-law has been going thru.  There's absolutely no justification as to why his surgeon didn't come in and meet with your MIL and FIL!  TOTALLY unacceptable!!!  :(    I hope and pray they get a different Doctor that cares about his patients and treats them with the respect that they deserve.  Is there anyway that your MIL and FIL would allow either you or your husband to accompany them to their Doctor's appt's as a 2nd pair of eyes and ears from now on?  I did that.for my parents when they were in there 80's, especially when my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and.they were so relieved because of all the new information that was being thrown at them.  It really took the load off of them and made them feel better.  Just a thot that you've probably already considered.  :)

You definitely have my prayers for your entire family!   Best wishes and thinking of you all, my dear.        ..............     Sherry   :)

6669309 tn?1462648142
by breezytoo, Sep 29, 2015
So sorry to hear this, you certainly have my prayer for him coming your way. Wishes for a full recovery, they are doing some amazing things with cancer now so I pray he will heal completely. So hard to watch a loved one go through a tough time like this.

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Sep 30, 2015
Thank you Sherry and Breezy.

I'm going to be posting an update in a new journal.

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