Mar 12, 2010
So im new to this journal thing and im new to this MedHelp thing. Im still trying to figure myself out and what my real deal in life is all about. Im not a good writer, not good at gramer and spelling you can chuck out the door. Needless to say all the drama and **** my life has had im trying to work it out and get rid of all of it. Went to the doctor today....(im very afraid of Doctors) and got a check out and started to talk about why I was really their. I started with,"I will like to talk about my mental health," then the tears started and finally I got it offff my chest :) it was hard not to walk out of the waiting room and say frig it, im fine, just another bad day. But its always a bad day with me. I would think to myself, when will it change? when will I feel happy and get over this bump??? aw the tears and out bursts were getting out of hand aty some points. Thank God my man never walked out om me when he could have and I would tell him to. For no reason at that! Its funny, I own a house, have a man, pets and 2 cars and still it dont change how you really feel. The roots go deep down, deep, deep dpwn. How do I change? change me? Then I would think, why do I need to change? I guess now im starting to finally see me and what ever this porblem is in me that needs to change. Well im off to bed now, wrote my first journal, might be crap, but it is what I came up with.
Chow for now,