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Update on my father in law

Sep 30, 2015 - 17 comments

Again I thank each and every one of you for your prayers. I need to reach out and request more cause the news wasn't good.

So my in laws FINALLY got to see the Dr that did the surgery. And he admitted to f*cking up. We know now that he has nerve damage in his face. He has surgery booked in 2 weeks to fix his eye because of the drooping eye socket. (that's the best way to describe it).

And to add on top of that, it has been confirmed that he's full of cancer. So when he heals from the surgery, the Dr wants him to start radiation. Unfortunately they will have to travel 3 hours away to do that. We don't have a radiation treatment centre here, only chemo.

I was really hoping for some better news. I know he's 87, and he's lived a good life. But it still s*cks.

I always hear stories about how people don't get along with their inlaws. Maybe I just got lucky. I like my inlaws, and they have treated me more like parents in the past few years then my own mom has.

Just another reminder about how short life is. Go hug your family, your friends. No one knows what tomorrow brings

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Avatar universal
by Belle313, Sep 30, 2015
Gosh Shannon
I'm so sorry to hear the news. I hope the surgery helps his eye & then the main focus can be shifted to treating your FIL's C. I hope he considers mind/body therapy as well.  It's just as important to keep a healthy outlook as it is to get rid of the C. There are also support groups for family such as you, DH and his wife....at least here in the states. (My uncle went thru a 10 yr battle). A counselor or case worker, someone who can walk you thru and tell you what all is available to help navigate the system might be of help. They can help coordinate care, home visits from nurses, meals and meds so the process doesn't feel so overwhelming.  Your MIL & FIL can concentrate on getting better.  I am glad you got answers but heartbroken it was what you thought it was. It is always difficult to get that kind of news. I can't even imagine having to deal with all of this. I will keep you all in my prayers and am around if you need someone to listen or talk to.

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by TTC2006, Sep 30, 2015
Sending my thoughts to you Shannon.  Hugs!

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by Shannon79, Sep 30, 2015
Thank you E and TTC *hugs*

I'm not sure what kind of support programs there are here in Canada. I would think there's gotta be similar programs. Definitely something to look into.

Hubby's fear now is he will just give up. That he'll decline the radiation and "whatever happens, happens".

Yes we now have answers. Not the answers we were hoping for, but at least it's something. And now we can look ahead to getting him the treatment he needs.

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by hansen20, Sep 30, 2015
You and your family is always in my prayers. I'm so sorry to hear this :'( hun. I hope that your father in law won't give up and that he will just keep fighting. Sending lots of hugs your way!

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by Shannon79, Sep 30, 2015
Thanks Lisa. I hope he keeps fighting too. *hugs*

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by Des_a_rae, Sep 30, 2015
Geeze Shannon that's horrible on his part.  UGH I'm so angry at him right now.  Is there anyway to contact the board or something like that.  Make a complaint about him?  This shouldn't just be swept under the rug.  I know you all have much more things to worry about but if there's any way, this is definitely something that shouldn't be overlooked.  I'm SO sorry you all received such devastating news.  I totally agree with E.  Support groups, people and things like that are definitely the way to go.  The focus now is helping him through surgery and helping him through radiation.  I would say that I pray he don't "just give up" but honestly, at his age, I don't know what I'd do in that situation but if it were my dad/family I would pray they keep fighting. Having said that I would definitely want my family there by my side, cheering me on for radiation.  I would be doing my family the same way.  I pray for you all.  It's got to be so difficult.  Sending love!!

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by clean_in_ks, Sep 30, 2015
Oh Shannon.....I'm so sad to hear this.  Hopefully the surgery will get his eye working properly again....I pray so~

I'm so glad you love your in-laws.....I loved mine too.  They are gone now, one to Alzheimer's and one to Cancer.  And I believe we are given "extended" families when we marry....and they can be such an added blessing to our lives.

I was thinking what "I" would do if I was 87 yrs old and full of cancer......the choices I would need to make about the quality of what life I had left.  We will all make those decisions differently, but we ALL do one thing the same:  TREASURE the time we have left with that loved one.  Make memories....look at old pictures....laugh together....play cards or whatever is fun together.  Be sure to ask him questions you've always wanted to know....to pass on to your boys.  I will keep you all close to my heart and be praying for you...mwah♥

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by VICourageous, Sep 30, 2015
Oh! I too am so Sorry!

You bet you better give Love to Your Loves ones!! Life is to darn short! You know Shannon about my issues almost a few yrs back. They all had Cancer and I was with them all the way..Except my Father-in-Law lived in AZ. I love my Mother-in-Law very much. It is SO hard and I will PRAY really hard that He will beat this and live so much longer. YOU try to stay Strong Plz!
Bless ALL
Vickie

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by krichar, Sep 30, 2015
I'm so sorry shan... there's lots if support groups and resources. Ypu just have to look. Well I one at least here in AB there are lots. Check your provincial or regional health care site and search. This has to be so hard...and I will keep you in my prayers. I know my u clearly was 87 when he found out his cancer returned...he decided not to fight which was hard :( hopefully he will.at least try

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by spider6, Sep 30, 2015
Oh shanny, I'm so sorry for you and your hubs family...so sad my dear.  Much prayers of hope and strength honey.....hugs.

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by melimeli, Sep 30, 2015
conntinued prayers.  there is just nothing easy about people getting older.  It just *****!  I am glad he has you guys some people get old alone.  Prayers to you and him

Avatar universal
by 10356, Sep 30, 2015
I'm so sorry to read this Shannon.. My Prayers will continue to go up. You are correct life is very short Love Love Love as much as you can.. warm hugs, lesa

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by KTowne, Sep 30, 2015
Oh Shannon I'm so sorry, regardless of age, it's a loved one and we don't want to see them leave. But I'm glad you finally got some answers and there's a plan of action in order and praying he does well with radiation!!

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by meegWpaw, Sep 30, 2015
I am sorry Shannon.  i will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

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by pb95, Sep 30, 2015
I'm sorry to hear you all are going through this.  It is a good thing to now know and start to make a plan, and hopefully work through the anger of the situation so you can completely focus your thoughts on what needs to be done.  Hugs!

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by Hollus, Sep 30, 2015
Boy, when it rains it pours!! I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I hope the Chemo will do the trick! I will keep praying for you and your family. **HUGS**

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by Shannon79, Oct 01, 2015
Thank you all so very much. Your kind words have given me tears.

Now we just sit and wait to see how surgery goes and how he does with radiation.

We're spending as much time as we can with them. Right now, that's the best thing for them.

All your support has been amazing. *hugs to you all*

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