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NEED TO VENT!!!!!

Mar 18, 2010 - 23 comments

People keep telling me I don’t look pregnant. I am 17 weeks. This is my first child.  I understand that this being my first pregnancy and probably the way I’m built play key roles on why I’m not showing. But dang it I want EVERYONE to STOP TELLING ME I DON’T LOOK PG. They think they are doing me a favor because of the compliments ‘Oh but you look so good being 17 weeks’ Ok……ok….but then they go ‘I have never seen anything like you before’
What the heck??? I’m NOT a freak. My baby is growing at a normal rate. I swear it just frustrates me and kind of saddens me because I WANT TO LOOK PREGNANT. I get the same darn comments EVERY. SINGLE.DAY! Ya'll should see their faces. It's like they can't believe it. I'm tired already! Bottom line, I don’t know how else to respond to those comments. I’ll usually say ‘Well it isn’t my time to show’ Or ‘Oh don’t worry, I’m getting there’ But even women who’ve been pregnant before and should know better tell me they’ve never seen anything like me.

Makes me think they don’t believe me :(
Maybe I'm being overly sensitive :(

I didn't want to let it get to me because this isn't a big deal. It's just that......... hearing the same ol' comments from different people every day frustrates me.



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203342 tn?1328740807
by April2, Mar 18, 2010
I understand your frustrations! The same thing happened with my daughter. She kept wondering why she wasn't showing. She didn't really start showing till just these last few weeks and she's 27 weeks now! So don't worry, you will soon! I think it's rather common in a first pregnancy to not show right away but everyone's different. I know I didn't really show (just like my daughter) until about 6 months and then it seemed overnight I popped out! She did the same thing. All of a sudden we noticed her belly was much more round. :)
I imagine some time within this next month you will be definately showing more. Take it all with a grain of salt. I think most people mean it as a compliment that you look so good. Before too long everyone will be wanting to touch your belly and that will be just one more annoying thing people do, lol.

796506 tn?1370191905
by nickieb85, Mar 18, 2010
Hey the only thing I can tell you is that I was the exact same way when I was pregnant with my first son... oh but when I hit the 25 week mark I *popped* and believe me by the end (36w5d) I was huge!!!!! Don't worry and ignore the nasty comments that people have... as long as your baby is growing at a good rate then there is no need to worry =) I am now preggo with my third and I look like I did when I was about 20 weeks the first time. It really all depends on how you are carrying and boys (well mine anyways) were lower so that is another reason I didn't show nearly as fast. I hope that you can ignore the rude comments people say to you. You will pop in your own time =)

184674 tn?1360864093
by AHP84, Mar 18, 2010
Oh goodness...just wait'll you get to the END of your pregnancy and EVERYONE is saying, "When are you going to have that baby?" and "Haven't you had the baby yet?" and "Oh my gosh, you're so BIG!"
Lol, and the only thing you can think about all day long is WHEN is this baby going to be born?! So then when people keep rubbing it in that you haven't given birth yet, you just wanna deck 'em! Like yeah, you're trying to hold the baby in past full term on purpose, lol.

Don't worry, you'll be showing soon enough, and then you'll have a whole new set of phrases you'll get from people that drive you insane. ;-)
Do what you can to enjoy your pregnancy because you know that you've got a beautiful little life inside you, whether people can tell or not, or whether people think you're trying to stay pregnant forever or not...before you know it you'll be nice and round and folks will want to rub your belly and tell you all about *their* pregnancies, and then before you know it again, you'll be snuggling your little bundle in your arms. :-)

541150 tn?1306037443
by PrettyKitty1, Mar 18, 2010
Thank you ladies.
You have made me laugh. You have made me feel better. And you have put me at ease. Maybe it is just my hormones. Lately, it seems I can’t tolerate anything. I’ll either burst in tears or bash someone lol. I know I’ll show before I know it. I am carrying my boy down low; and I can feel it because Noah is pressing on my bladder. If I sneeze I’ll pee in my pants. Embarrassing, I know, but he won’t go up higher for mommy lol.  And, you can tell I’m pregnant when I’m naked. I DO have a pregnant belly. It may be small but dang it, it is a pregnant belly lol.

I will focus on my baby shower and enjoy my pregnancy. In the meantime, I will be getting ready for the next set of silly comments of ‘You are still pregnant?’ LOL


1222635 tn?1366399886
by mom2ariana, Mar 18, 2010
dont worry hun...im the same way!! im 30 weeks and people tell me all the time that i look small...or a month or two ago they would be like your 6 months?? i thought you were 3 or 4! the way im built i think is contributing to my belly growing small..but my little girl is right on track too. try not to let it get to you though! its so funny because im the same way as you, who would have thought i would ever be saying i want to look pregnant? dh laughs at me because one day ill complain about not looking pregnant enough and the next im complaining about being fat. but almost every new outfit i put on i have to turn to the side and ask him "do i like prego in this?" and he always says i definitely do and then i disagree with him lol....comes with the territory i guess!!
as long as your little boy is growing right then you have nothing to worry about! i try to remind myself that since im smaller (at least for now!) that maybe my stretch marks wont be so bad or it'll take less time to get my stomach back...so look on the bright side! :) and if you haven't already, try taking pictures of your belly every 4 weeks or so. even better is measuring your belly around (not fundal height) about every month or so. you'll be surprised sometimes how much of a difference there will be when you go to measure the next month & it's encouraging!!

1121273 tn?1325371575
by k10road, Mar 18, 2010
PK, you have a gorgeous pregnant belly.  When you are dressed, it may not show that much.  But soon enough, it will.  You look beautiful, girl.  

541150 tn?1306037443
by PrettyKitty1, Mar 18, 2010
Mom2ariana,

OMG we are the exact same way!!! I do all the things you do, such as asking hubby whether I look preggo or not in a certain outfit.  He will say ‘Yes’ But then I’ll say ‘No, I don’t’ LOL
I have also been complaining about gaining weight lol. Yet I want to look pregnant! It’s crazy. I’m crazy!! Lol

And yes, thank God my little boy is growing and is healthy.  I know one day I’ll look back and laugh at this….but right now it is just so frustrating. I just would like for people to shut up and mind their own business. Ugh..


996946 tn?1503252712
by LindaTX, Mar 18, 2010
Ok, PK....another funny but true story....when my daughter was pregnant with her first child (my more than darling granddaughter) she stayed fit and did aerobics right up till she went into labor. When we got to the hospital, she was met with "Where's the pregnant one?"   When I was 2 wks overdue with her, every day everywhere I went I was met with "Oh,When are you duuuuue!!!

541150 tn?1306037443
by PrettyKitty1, Mar 18, 2010
aw....thank you Kris :) You are so sweet hon :)

Avatar universal
by teko, Mar 18, 2010
Pretty soon you will be wishing it were little again! Take their remarks as a compliment to you.  I only gained 10 lbs with my first. I was so sick with morning sickness all the way thru to my 7th month. Baby was 6lb 2oz and after I had him, I wore my pre pregnancy pants home and they were too big!  Oh the memories!

541150 tn?1306037443
by PrettyKitty1, Mar 18, 2010
Linda,

Hahahaha that’s a funny story. Did you guys laugh at the hospital when they asked that?
You know….lol you have just reminded me that I have to be more disciplined with my work-out sessions. I haven’t exercised this week.  I get so, so tired! Another thing that aggravates me. I am in my second trimester. They say you usually feel better AND have more energy. Ok, I am feeling better……..BUT I’D LIKE TO KNOW WHERE MY ENERGY IS!! Ugh..I know everyone is different but dang it  I want to be more active!


541150 tn?1306037443
by PrettyKitty1, Mar 18, 2010
Teko,

10 lbs??? But were you small because of your pregnancy symptoms or were you small because of your anatomy and physiology etc?


1210716 tn?1297624483
by pameladawn414, Mar 18, 2010
Lol I'm almost 14 weeks and I'm getting the opposite, I have a little tiny bit of a belly, and although it's not even that much people are already like "wow, you're already showing?" or "omg, you were so skinny and tall I didn't think you'd be showing yet" and it's kinda like their calling me fat, like what the hell? lol

Avatar universal
by teko, Mar 18, 2010
I actually lost weight up till my 7th month, from not being able to keep food down. They finally hospitalized me and put me on intervenus and fed me that way. That was many many moons ago. He is 40 now!  We have come a long way! I actually looked like one of those starving people who have a belly too! Not a big deal tho cause I had 5 more after him and they made their presence known for sure! lol

Avatar universal
by Smilerdeb, Mar 18, 2010
In your pic (14 weeks) you DO LOOK PREGNANT lol.
Also boys tend to look like an 'egg shape ' at the front of your belly.
I know because I carried my son like that but was also told that he was sitting towards the BACK of me (on the bowel).
And boy did I know it as time went on as I was always feeling like I had to use my bowels.
Most will tell you with boys, you carry to the front and with girls, you get 'barge-*** hips!".
This I found to be true lol.
When people comment...tell them,......Yeah but just think how good my bodys gonna go back into shape afterwards as I am carrying him to the back" (hehehehe).
Or the best comment is........... Have you put weight on for ME, you look like you've gained weight!???
They soon back off.
Good luck with your pregnancy and enjoy it...its a beautiful experience xxx

541150 tn?1306037443
by PrettyKitty1, Mar 18, 2010
Pamela,
Lol I’m telling ya..people just don’t realize what we go through.   I’d be frustrated with those comments. Ugh…

Teko,
You have courage woman! LOL After a pregnancy like that I would have been scared to get pregnant again and would have probably used some sort of birth control LOL. 40 years ago, and you still remember it all huh.

Smile,

I know!!!! Right? I DO LOOK PREGNANT!!! Dang it I do!! Lol But when I’m wearing my work clothes then I guess you can’t tell because everyone keeps telling me I don’t look pregnant.  LOL I’ll try your suggestions. I like them a lot! LOL Especially this one ‘Have you put weight on for ME, you look like you've gained weight!???’
LOL

996699 tn?1447233481
by raquelplus2, Mar 18, 2010
uno wat alot of people dont show cuz thats still fairly early. i wdnt worry bout it uno. take it as a compliment that u still look good at 4 mnths preggo. wit my first i jus lookd fat till 5 mnths lol  i wsnt fat myself jus lookd it lol n peopl wd say oh ur 5 mnths i didnt no u wer preg lol but with my 2nd  i showed pretty ealy n my 3rd 2. dont worry it will happn n hn people r gna say wow your huge!! n stuff like that lol  
    

13167 tn?1327197724
by RockRose, Mar 18, 2010
I just spent last weekend with my darling niece,  she's 13 weeks pregnant and has "spread".  She looks like she's let herself go,  and she's upset about it.    She wants to look pregnant,  and not just chunky.    Right now,  she just looks puffy.  It's embarrassing.  

I kind of think you're making much about nothing,  PrettyKitty.  This is like people telling you they can't believe how white your teeth are or how shiny your hair is.    It's a compliment.

When you get to looking like you're near delivery,  you won't believe what people say to you,  and that's a whole 'nother story.  There was this man in the grocery store in line behind me,  with a toddler in his cart,  he asked me if I'd started to dilate yet,  and he proceeds to tell me how far dilated his wife is right now.  INDEED.    I had to go and settle a car insurance claim once,  and the very young man adjuster asked me when my due date was,  and in fact it was that very day,  and I think he about had a heart attack getting me out of there as fast as he could.  He visibly blanched.    It's all fun.

You have lots to look forward to.  Like,  your baby is so BIG,  your baby is so LITTLE,    what a darling  girl you have (although he's dressed in blue from head to booties),  etc.  Let it roll off.  ;D

189069 tn?1323405738
by babypooh, Mar 19, 2010
Hi, honey! I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my boy :) At five months I still wasn't big enough for my taste! Ha ha ha. But we grow so gradually at first and before you know it, your waistline will have expanded beyond recognition, he he. You look beautiful and to me, you do look pregnant :) Certain clothes will hide it for now, but not for long. Hang in there and hold on tight while your hormones rage, lol. Love you bunches!
*HUGS*

1251133 tn?1269036300
by blwilc, Mar 19, 2010
with my first, i was almost 5 months preg. before you could tell and outta nowhere i was ready to have her.  and to think that in the 10 months of preg. i gained 80 lbs.  and of course as soon as you loose it you will be finding out you are going to be a mommy again.    Best of Luck with your little one.

541150 tn?1306037443
by PrettyKitty1, Mar 19, 2010
Thank you ladies. I know this happens to a lot of people. I'm not worried about not showing. I'm just frustrated because I keep hearing the same thing over and over.

RockRose.....I'm pregnant, an ant stinks, the sky is red, I can smell a bee's fart. Everything bothers me!! Especially the things I have to hear or see every day, like work, my hair, my house, my car, my boss, and the same ol' comments about my pregnancy and how I'm perceived as a freak of nature. Apparently this side of Florida has never seen anyone like me. Go figure...

13167 tn?1327197724
by RockRose, Mar 19, 2010
Well,  I've seen women like you,  PrettyKitty.  I've done work with pregnant teens,  and they often "hold it in".  Not saying you're a pregnant teen,  but I worked with one girl - she was beautiful,  tall,  looked like Brooke Sheilds.  She didn't show until she was 38 weeks - up til then,  she looked like she might have put on a little weight.  At her baby's delivery her mother brought pictures of her taken 3 weeks prior to her delivery  to convince me that the family wasn't just nuts - this girl DIDN'T  look pregnant.  Sure enough,  she didn't.    I worked with another girl who delivered in the bathroom of her parent's house - a little slip of a girl,  and she came out of the bathroom carrying a newborn.  She weighed 105 pounds after delivery in the hospital.

It does happen.

541150 tn?1306037443
by PrettyKitty1, Mar 21, 2010
RockRose,

Thanks for sharing that story with me. The funny thing is, I am showing. But because I wear loose outfits at work nobody is really able to tell I'm pregnant. Maybe they think that being pregnant means getting fat. The only thing bigger in me is my lower belly...so maybe that's why they keep telling me I don't look pg. I promise I'll do my best to let it slip and just let them think whatever they want :) Who cares....my baby is fine!

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