Mar 20, 2010
Its 3:53 A.M. and i am still awake. Not that its not normal for me to be up this late because im usually not tired until around 4 or 4:30 am. I hate not being able to sleep because then my day is ruined by not going to sleep til late. But what can i do? Also, im going out with my mamaw and brother in the morning around 8 so yea... why even sleep? I need to get on a plan with the whole exercizing thing. I hear its the best thing for anxiety. I just never have the energy to try anymore. But im thinkin tonights the night. ::crosses fingers::
Okay about the whole medication thing. Im still not taking anything because the anti-depressants SUCK and i always have horrible reactions to them. Well i was once on a drug called Buspar. And i took it for 4 days with nothing except for day 4. Which turned out, now that i think of it, being me. I had a horrible panic attack and being new at this whole anxiety thing i thought it was an allergic reaction. So i think im going to try that pill again. I never would have even considered looking at this drug ever again if it werent for my brother. We were talking the other night about my anxiety and he told me that i need to take anti-anxiety meds not anti-depressants. Honestly, i never knew there was a drug that treated anxiety alone. So i got to doing my research and found a whole list of meds that treat just that! And what do i find on that list? Buspar. Very little side effects and what not. Also helps with smoking and drinking (in some cases). So why not give it another shot? Now i am just waiting for the next visit with the doc to ask him if it would be ok. i still have the left over meds. I never threw them away. Maybe that was a sign. And im deff not going to just take them without my doctors consent. Thats a no no.
So hopefully this will work for the good. And it also brought a smile to my face knowing that its all in my head with the Buspar. That it wasnt an allergic reaction. And the doctor at Urgent Care wasnt full of crap. This was about 5 months ago if i remember correctly. So its all just taking time for me. Like i said, this is all still new to me so its a big change in my life. Im looking at things a little differently now.
One day at a time.
One day at a time.