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Mar 23, 2010 - 0 comments


I had a workout session with my trainer yesterday and it was normal not bad but enough to make me cuss my trainer under my breath. Driving home I'm fairly certain I had a seizure. I can't be sure because the last one I had was in July of 2007..I know it sounds weird that I'm not sure I had one. It felt somewhat the same minus the normal auras (ringing, everything looking brighter and clearer, feeling of complete understanding and joy/doom) I just couldn't see. The best I can describe it as is like having tunnel vision I was still pretty aware of my surroundings and I had my husband on the phone because I was nervous. I remember driving home from the gym stopping at red lights and stop signs using my blinker and the usual thing but it feels more like a dream than that I did anything. I came home and was full confused and emotional like after having a seizure I ended up sleeping pretty much the entire day. The rest of the evening I was in a daze everything felt off and clouded I was still able to function and my husband said everything seemed normal about me after I took my nap. I don't know I'm beyond frustrated I've done so well for almost 3 years and the medication has been great I don't want to take a step backwards and have to deal with everything again.

I am treated different because I have seizures. My husband acts like I will break friends act like it's something they can catch and I am terrified to go out in public alone. I shouldn't let something control my life like this but I can't figure out how to control something I have absolute no control or understanding of. I feel like I will never be able to care for my daughter or myself in a proper way because I will always depend on my husband for things.

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