All Journal Entries Journals

Finally!!!  Hopeful, SCARED!!  Ugh!!

Nov 02, 2015 - 26 comments
Tags:

hopeful

,

scared

,

Fertility

,

IVF



Just wanted to share with all you ladies that finally, FINALLY after all these years, we're about to enter our IVF journey.  We've been trying to raise and save the money and honestly I just about lost all hope that it would ever happen.  Trying to save and raise that kind of money is almost impossible  but a miracle happened and we're going for it.  My emotions are all over the place.  Inside I feel happy, hopeful but then the fear takes over.  My one shot, ONE shot and I just pray that's all we need.  I know there's no more after this one and I just break down.  I have no idea how to handle all of these emotions, especially the negative ones.  Any advice on that?  I know I should just try to try to be positive but gosh it's so hard.  

I've been emailing the Fertility Clinic and I have this huge packet.  OMG so much to fill out for IVF.  What to do with our eggs, donate or store them when we're done.. OMG!!    

And here I am with the sperm issue.  We haven't had Brian checked in awhile in hopes of SOMETHING being there on his next SA.  I've read where there can be sperm there, but unable to get out.  They'll do an ultrasound see if there's any and use a needle to extract them. I told Brian about this and he just giggled because I said "Oh if there's some, they'll get it" and he giggled after I told him how.  I know he's totally okay with this.  Ladies, if you pray, please pray they find something.  I would love a child, NO MATTER how, but we all want our own if it's possible.  This is going to be a new everything to us.  I'm a stresser(I just made that a word lol) and I've always been a stresser, I can't help it.  I just pray I'm able to handle this, mentally and physically, that Brian is able to also AND we get our long awaited BFP in the end.  

Also, I was wondering.  How many visits do you think Brian would have to go to?  I'm going to call them this morning to get our first one set up, but I was just curious.  

Thank you ladies SO much.  I never thought this would be possible, I've held on to very little hope and I'm so thankful I did.  It's happening and I can't believe it.  

Comments
Post a Comment
982214 tn?1471454781
by krichar, Nov 02, 2015
OMG!!! YAY!!! I'm so excited for you guys.  I honestly just started thanking God every day for the opportunity...it helped to get rid of the negative thoughts. I did my best to relax and take it super easy for the tww. Have you inquired what an fet costs? Just in case but I know you've got this!!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 02, 2015
Thank you SO much Kellie!!  I'm shaking, I just got off the phone with them and our first appointment is Nov 12th.  Eek!!  
No, I have no idea how much their FET is.  I'll be finding out, just in case though.  I have been praying so much and will continue to do so. That's probably what's going to get me through also.   I'm so unbelievably thankful to get this chance.  So Thankful!!  

2066718 tn?1431143569
by TTC2006, Nov 02, 2015
Oh Des!  What awesome news!  I'll be hoping that one shot is all you need!  Take it day by day knowing that even if things look bleak one day, the difference a day makes can be incredible.  I've read so many stories of women thinking they were going to have few to no eggs for retrieval and getting in there and they have an abundance of them!

This is it for you!  

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 02, 2015
Aww TTC, Thank you so much!  I hope it is also. I've got to learn to stay positive, that's for sure.  I'm such a pessimists. lol  You're absolutely right, I've witnessed the miracles also and praying I'm one of them.  

1816154 tn?1463430018
by hansen20, Nov 02, 2015
I will be praying for you sweetie! ! I hope that it doesn't take too long and that you get a BFP very very soon.  I know that it's hard but try not to stress too much.  Sending you lots of sticky baby dust your way! ! ! !

1383908 tn?1457401728
by Sheaby, Nov 02, 2015
So exciting!!!!!  Will send lots of positive thoughts your way!!!  I don't have any insight about IVF,  but I know a LOT of women (both thru MH and personal friends) that IVF was just the thing they needed on the first go-round, so it's definitely possible!!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 02, 2015
Thank you so much Hansen.  Honestly I never thought I'd get the chance and now that I am, I don't know how to handle/deal with it.  So many emotions lol.   Tyvm! :D

Yes it is Sheaby.  Love the positive stories.  Hoping and praying that's our case. :D  Thank you so much!! :D

2020005 tn?1476658962
by KTowne, Nov 02, 2015
Des!!!!!!!!!! I am over the moon reading this!!!!!!! I can't offer any experience with this but I will be praying every minute for you and Brian!!!!!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 02, 2015
Awww KTowne, thank you SO much!!  I can't wait!!!  :D

1386655 tn?1452097056
by journey2motherhood, Nov 02, 2015
Des, this is such great news.  I can tell you not to stress and relax but being through so many treatments myself, I know it's very hard not to.  Just try to remain positive and believe in the possibility of  miracles.  I am someone who prays, so I will certainly pray for you and your husband.  One day at a time and if you have any questions, If I remember I will do my best to help. xoxo

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Nov 02, 2015
Oh Des that is such exciting news!!!

I will be praying hard for you and hubby. I can't wait to be reading about your bfp very soon!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 02, 2015
Thank you so much Journey.  Every kind word, thought and prayer is very appreciated.  I'm going to try to remain as positive as possible.  Definitely going to be praying a lot.  This in itself is a miracle.  I never thought I'd get the chance and here I am.  :)  I am and will forever be grateful.  

Thank you so much Shannon!!  I hope and pray I get to announce that soon! :D



296076 tn?1371334474
by melimeli, Nov 02, 2015
prayers to you!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 02, 2015
Thank you so much Meli!

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Nov 02, 2015
Des, I am sitting here with tears running down my face!!!  Omg!  I am so over the moon happy!!!  
This is it!!?  Yipppeeeee!!!!!!

Love and Hugs!!!

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Nov 02, 2015
And I think Brian only has to go to initial appt, his "retrieval" appt, and transfer day.  

1386765 tn?1451164337
by pb95, Nov 02, 2015
Best News EVER!  I am so excited for you guys and I **know** it will bring your BFP!!!  I am excited to follow the journey to your success!
Hugs!!!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 02, 2015
Mel, Thank you SO much.  I can't believe it.  My heart is torn.  It's saying "Go, go now, do it" and then it says "what if it dont' work, you don't have another chance".  UGh!!  I'm sure I'm not the only one that's ever felt this way.  I'm trying to learn how to deal with it, let the positive out weigh the negative.  That's great about his appointments.  We can totally do that!  Sending love and hugs back! :D

PB, thank you SO much also!!  I can't wait to update everyone as we go through this.  I have such amazing friends like yourself and I wouldn't want to share this amazing journey with anyone else. Sending hugs back!  :)





Our First Appointment is November 12th.  EEK!!!  :D  

1217293 tn?1467354344
by Risa615, Nov 03, 2015
Des prayers to you and that your appt goes well and you can begin your journey.  Wishing you good news soon!

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 03, 2015
Thank you so much Risa!!  I hope so too.  :)  I'm very excited and can't wait.  

1591611 tn?1485972086
by Vency, Nov 04, 2015
Des I'm so happy to read your journal.  While I don't have any insights, I do have the ability and the belief in prayers.  I shall be praying that God guides you and hubby and walk you thru this process.  Just keep faith that this is what he wants for you and it shall be done.  I look forward to following you thru this journey.

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 04, 2015
AWw Vency, thank you SO much.  Everyone's thoughts, prayers and kind words of support are so very much appreciated. I can't wait to share it with you all. :)



I know without a doubt I'd be even more lost without you gals.  

4769306 tn?1568490209
by KeeLolo, Nov 04, 2015
Hey Des, this I s such wonderful news!!!!! I'm so esctatic for you and Brian. I know it's going to be a lot mentally, emotionally and physically!!! But I'm praying to God above hat you and Brian get the BFP that you so deserve and so graciously want!!
XXxx
KeeLolo

5575813 tn?1452481085
by Hollus, Nov 04, 2015
I am so happy and excited for you both!! Of course I will pray and sending positive thoughts and SSBD your way!! FX for your long over due BFP!!

1742167 tn?1436471720
by heather727, Nov 05, 2015
I'm so excited for you!! I can't wait for your BFP! :-D

790669 tn?1465189099
by Des_a_rae, Nov 08, 2015
Thank you so much Kee, Hollus and Heather.  I'm so sorry for not getting back sooner.  My laptop decided to have a major breakdown and had to set back to factory setting and then updates for what feels like 4 days??? Ugh!   Anyways, Thank you  so much.  I'm so excited and very nervous.  I unfortunately had to move our appointment to Nov 23rd because I forgot Brian had a doctors appointment on the 12.  Oh well, at least we'll get there this month.  :)  

Post a Comment