Apr 07, 2010
yesterday i was very tired after my megaday on tuesday but that is to be expected. I still managed to take the tube to wood green and meet up with my nvq assessor. It was such a contrast to the same meeting 2 weeks before when not only did i forget to take the relevent material with me but i could hardly make a coherent sentance and struggled to concentrate and emotionally felt all over the place. Yesterday i had all the correct notes with me and was clear headed and articulate - absolutley wonderful!!!
not only that but last time I was feeling "what is the point of finishing this nvq?" i felt so unmotivated and despairing about the future, at that point i had not twigged my health problems were related to codeine dependency , as I just knew i was so increasingly unwell I could never hold down another job and felt really depressed. yesterday though i felt excited at the prospect of my health issues gradually dissipating and the prospect of some day in the future being well enough to use my nvq to return to a career that i love in mental health.
i feel once more like I have a future to look forward to. Even the awful and run down london borough of wood green which on my first visit made a terrible impression on me didnt look quite so bad yesterday !!!!
By the evening i was knackered and aching and my muscles were twitching. I slept well though which is great. By 4.30 this morning however i woke with such muscle aches that i had to get up.
one day at a time though things are getting better.