Jul 22, 2008
Day 33 Tramadol Cold Turkey Withdrawal;
Immune System Breakdown ...
I guess when the cat is away, the mice they will play.
Last night I was alone in the house and steadily starting to believe I had a cold in the nose starting. Got rapidly worse. Searched for the Z-Pac, found the Z-Pac. Took the first dose.
Woke up this morning thinking OMG I am so tired. But I didn't feel the "I feel like crawling in a hole and dying" thing. Progress!! Got to work, assistant took one look at me and said, "You have to go home."
Yeah. Looking GOOD!
I sound like a snuffle monster. I cough I hack I sneeze. Kleenex and I? BBF's!! Best friends Forever!!
My makeup does that icky thing where I break into a cold sweat and then am freezing and then too hot ... kinda hard on yer mascara, and the eyeshadow vanishes.
I managed to get my homemade chicken soup on the stove. Quickly, before I crashed. I can tell when I can push myself thru and when I can't. When I crash, I pretty much am laid out horizontally hopefully on the sofa and not in bed! Being in bed, brings the drug thoughts up fast. Distraction techniques are best for me.
I like to watch either light funny movies or action films. The action films help me not feel as angry. Or help me feel more angry. Both of which are useful states of mind.
I was kind of expecting a complete immune system crash since all my body's energy is being used to toss Tramadol out on it's posterior! But I am just doing everything I can to try and make it so that I won't say, Get Bronchitis and then Pneumonia. DH came home and saw me making soup. He asked why I was home so early and I replied, "I'm sick." He asked, "Is it the Tramadol? It gives you flu like symptoms, right?" (Someone has been doing research! And I replied, "Um, no this time I think it is the Tramadol causing an immune crash ... so same kinda thing. I just don't wanna get pneumonia."
So I am at home with the BIG Jumbo sized Headache. Luckily I have the cats and my nice husband til he goes off to teach. I can feel my sinuses. Which is surreal. And gross. I have the dirty grimy skin in six hours going one ... ICKY!!!
I can also feel when I exert myself too much, it's bad. Bad! Not good! SO I am going to take it easy til I need to work again tomorrow afternoon!
One thing I do think. I think now that almost everyone I know thought that there was something WRONG with me. I used to think Tramadol was helping me "keep it all together." It is only now that I see the mass amount of damage it has done. I don't think I can express how upset I am about the fact that my PAIN WAS MADE WORSE ... 1000% worse by the use of this drug. Not a single Doctor I saw (And I saw very well educated Beverly Hills Practicing Doctors) ever once warned me about the possibility of Tramadol making pain worse.
No one ever told me that the Antidepressant in it might give me Suicidal Ideation.
It's so annoying and makes me so mad!
Also I wish I could go watch Dark Knight. :(
But I'm sick. And I need to rest. So that is what I will do. The drug voices are all quiet today AND guess what, chicken butt? My BACK doesn't hurt and my leg barely hurts! Unbelievable. Truly unbelievable. I'm glad you know? But also ... knowing that for YEARS it has been this drug that has caused and worsened my pain ... it makes me very very very angry!! I feel like throwing an ice sculpture at Tramadol's Head!!!
Tramadol; Rat's Like Tramadol!
Let the Rats have it!
Love and healing,