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And again

Apr 18, 2010 - 3 comments
Tags:

Pregnancy

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negative hpt

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pregnant friend

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crazy

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ectopic



I found out today that my best friend and former roommate is pregnant. When she found out I was pregnant, she had told me that she was going to try too so we could be pregnant together. Well it didn't quite work out that way since I am no longer pregnant but I'm still happy for her. I know this is what she wants. And then this evening, I got a text from my other best friend that I needed to meet up with her because she needed to tell me something. I thought in my head that she was probably pregnant too because that was what my luck was turning out to be. Well she's not pregnant, but she announced to me that she and her boyfriend are trying. Which is great. Sure, might as well. I was excited for her and put on a happy face just like I did for my other pregnant friend. But I just feel like I keep getting doors slammed in my face. I was just getting used to the fact that my coworker was pregnant and I was starting to feel better about it. Now my two best friends will be pregnant and I SHOULD have been pregnant with them, but I'm not. I know right now I probably sound like a selfish little ***** and most of you are thinking I'm a bad friend, but this is where I vent. I never share these feelings with them, and I never act like this in front of them, so this is where I come to have my little pity party. It feels better to write about it. Especially on here. Because every time I think to myself that no one understands and I'm all alone, someone pops in a comment sympathizing with me because they have been in the same situation and felt the exact same way. And it's really not helping right now that I think I might be pregnant. I've already taken two pregnancy tests that came back negative but for some reason that hopeful side of me keeps saying "Maybe you tested too early both times, maybe you are pregnant, oh wouldn't this be the perfect time to be pregnant". But I know that I'm probably just setting myself up for disappointment. The mind plays funny funny tricks on you. And then if I am pregnant... uh oh. I'll be scared. Because about three or four nights ago, I had a pain on my right side (the side with my only remaining tube). So I'm wondering in my head that if in fact I am pregnant, maybe that pain was the "implantation" in my tube. Which means... another ectopic and no good tubes. Arghhh, I feel like a crazy person LoL! This is driving me insane!!

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1230936 tn?1384267689
by JCKSON, Apr 19, 2010
Oh I know how you feel!! I have three best friends (one of them got knocked up on a drunken one night sex revenge stand!). And my husband's ex (his daughters mom)...ahhhh and I photograph newborns all the time. So I'm surrounded. It's hard to take in, and get used too ...but it will eventually come. The bitterness will come and go..I've learned to be happy for them and just trust God that my day will soon come. Also I threw away all of my prego tests..I stopped testing at home, because I just don't want to get all of my anxieties up. I either find out when the doc's test me or when AF arrives, that's the plan:) Best of luck TTC!

1242992 tn?1367863265
by mrs_adams2009, Apr 19, 2010
I thought I was being selfish when my sister told us she was pregnant back in February.  I had found out the Thursday before from my doctor that I was going to have trouble conceiving.  Here she was Saturday telling my family that she was pregnant and that she was on birth control when she got pregnant.  She informed us that it wasn't planned but that she would take her blessing.  I was angry, happy, hurt and miserable all at the same time.  I have came to terms with it now and can't wait until my new niece or nephew comes (I already have a niece).  Good luck TTC.  Baby dust to you!

1301836 tn?1305621815
by natashajay, May 25, 2010
Hello, just to say im with you, friends have babies, neighbour has a new born they are everywhere and im empty, will it happen, is there enough babydust out there...possibly not but good friends with an ear to listen when you are at your lowest like now are, and that's worth more!
I had an eptopic too scared the living daylights out of me, but it could have been either an ovulation pain or just a muscular twinge, have faith...if it were eptopic again im sure you'd be in more pain...i was ill for 6 months! they did tests, i had antibiotics for suspected kidneys/appendix and then i collapsed as i said 6 mnt later and it turns out it was a calcifying baby in my tube from 6 mnth previ! good luck and keep me posted xx

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