Jan 30, 2016
Okay, i know that actions speak louder than words, but just hear me out.
This year is definitely going to be a busy one. Its my last year of highschool, and in less than a years time I will have graduated and I will be living in the real world. Which means another stage in my life. A HUGE STAGE IN MY LIFE. I am yet to do more research into what I'd like to do after highschool, and although I have some ideas (like going into some type of Health-Science course, or just something within the Health Industry) Its still very broad. And truth is, I may not know EXACTLY what I want to do, but the whole point is to try out new things and if i dont like it I'll try something else. I guess thats the thing with me, I kind of expect things to flow smoothly, for me to know what my dream career is straight away... I know it wont work like that. Anyway, so there are going to be so many questions with a longing for answers. And that is okay.
But I guess the real point of this journal is this;
I want this year to be an amazing year! I want it to be so great, that someone will have to physically drag me out of the school to get me to leave. Yes, that sounds exaggerated... but truthfully, I have enough time leaving the school for holidays at the end of each year, so I'm pretty sure its possible (haha). I just know that despite the fact that there is so much in the outside world, my life has revolved around school for most of my life.Not only have I woken up every morning to get an education, but I also met so many people along the way. And I'm not just saying teenagers, I mean adults. I have met amazing people who have joined me my journey each year, and either helped me through advice, or have just acknowledged me as being someone who wants the best for her future and is willing to do everything in her power to get there. And those adults, who I'm proud to say are more than just teachers to me, they are friends. Emotionally, I dont know how I would cope with not seeing them again. BUT, thats not the point of this today.. This year is going to be amazing because im going to make it amazing. Yes there are so many reasons why it may not turn out amazing; Stress, Anxiety, Fear, Doubt, whatever else decides to creep into my year... But, it is my choice whether I want to let that control me, or whether my will to create an unforgettable year takes over. ITS OKAY for me to be stressed this year. ITS OKAY for me to be anxious. ITS OKAY for me to doubt myself. But ITS NOT OKAY for me to let it change who I truly want to be. We all want to inspire people,we all want to make some change in the world, or just in the life of one single person... thats still a big thing. And the possibility of me being something great will only increase with every obstacle, every mountain, every feeling of uneasiness or negative thought, every time I make it through it and come out smiling, THAT is what makes me courageous.
That is the life I wish to lead. I wish to be so courageous and focused that not one doubtful thought will dare seep through my bones and disperse over every inch of my body, robbing me of energy and motivation. I wish to be so strong that the corners of my mouth will refuse to turn upside down and snatch me of my joy. I want my moments of negativity to be proof of my existence, but not a subject powerful enough to alter my capabilities or future. I want to look back at the end of this year and have no doubt that I gave it everything I've got, and that I did it mostly with a smile on my face and hope in my heart, and a love for life that cannot be broken in spite of everything it may decide to throw at me.
That is what I will strive for this year, not perfection, not approval from anyone but myself, just for the best beginning of the soon-to-be new stage in my life... and I WILL NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS.
Now whether that last paragraph made sense or not, I dont know... but actions do speak louder than words. I will be work towards studying enthusiastically, and being open to learning new things, whether I like them or not. Its all about allowing as many choices for myself at the end of this year, in every possible way I can with the time that I have left in 2016.