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LONG, but I need input!! Pediatrician troubles.

Feb 08, 2016 - 16 comments

So I need some input on if I'm overreacting/crazy or not! Lol! So Dameon, since he was born has had freeequent ear infections, each cold/flu season we deal with 6-7, this year has been 5. My pediatrics office has two doctors, the one we mainly saw and trusted has left two times and come back, so she hasn't gotten to experience just HOW many ear infections he'd been getting, because he'd either see one or the other. Well she left for good about a year ago and we've been seeing a doctor that I absolutely hate. He's rude, unprofessional, talks over EVERYONE and doesn't let anyone talk. Dameon has had 5 ear infections this year, and of course, EVERY ear infection I take him to the dr, because they friggen hurt and I'm not making my child suffer through them. We saw a random PA last time and she referred us to an ENT doctor, we saw this dr, he said I'll just write you a script for antibiotics and if he says he has an ear ache, fill it, then that way you don't have to bother going to your regular doctor. So we've had to go to the dr 5 times ALONE for ear infections, and he's been diagnosed with an ear infection every single time. So in between those 5 appts (JUST this cold season), my daughter has gotten SUCH a cough, mucousy, flemmy, so hoarse from coughing and it lasted 9 days so at about day 8 I made her an appt, he diagnosed it as "viral" and I left, well day 9 she got feeling a little better, day 12, she's coughing just as bad, I take her back, "ohhh she's caught ANOTHER viral". so that makes about 7 appts this cold season. About two months ago Dameon was complaining of stomach aches, he'd randomly say he was having an upset stomach, decreased appetite and I was noticing it sometimes more after dairy, I called, talked to the nurse and she said make him an appt. Took him in, saw the random P.A again who was thinking maybe a tad lactose sensitive? Not so much intolerance. So we stopped most dairy, only a tiny bit here and there and he's STILL complaining of stomach aches randomly, very very decreased appetite, even of the things he likes to eat, hasn't gained a pound in well over a year. I mean I expect some times a decrease in appetite, but it's NOT re-increasing. So today I made him an appt. We walked in (this is probably 8th-9th appt this cold season), and our regular dr (the one I hate) is talking to Dameon, he's also looking/engaging with me so he says "so is there anything else going on besides your belly trouble?" and looks at me, so I say, actually he did complain of an ear ache saturday but not again since so I was going to have you look at that also. He says well actually I'm talking to dameon right now. (Annoying...because we're supposed to be ONE unit...Dameon is shy as is, so he's a quiet answerer) He starts checking Dameon's belly, and then gets on the topic of bowel movements, when was his last one, how hard it is, etc, and Dameon is SOOO shy about this stuff.. even I am not allowed in the bathroom when he's going, he hates talking about this stuff, so Dameon's face gets red, he looks at me and is lightly swinging his feet, and the dr literally gets between Dameon and I and says "I'm going to stand in between you and mommy if you can't talk to me without looking at her, you're not a baby" and so Dameon is uncomfortable by this point, he also tells Dameon to stop the nervous feet swinging. He says "Dameon is there anything that you eat that increases you're upset stomach?" (I had told him previously about the dairy upsetting his stomach) and Dameon's uncomfortable, shy, and says no just to get this damn visit over with and he says to Dameon "So mommy's crazy? she's making it up?" and laughs, but he was being an ***. As we get talking he says I think it's dairy/constipation, I said it happens immediately after dairy, not hours after, immediately, and then sometimes randomly, I'm worried lactose intolerance or some sort of food allergy, he says nope constipation. Well while we're talking, Chloe is quietly saying something to me and I don't even hear her because I'm talking to him (blocking her out) and he walks over and taps Chloe (who is also VERY shy) and says "can you please stop talking while mommy and I are talking? it's distracting" so she gets super shy, and then right as we're getting ready to leave he walks over to give Dameon a sucker (at 9am, before school), and he walks to chloe with a sucker holding his hand out and says "do you want one?" and chloe's shy so she kind of turns toward me and he said no thanks? okay! we'll see you next time and walks out, so Chloe got so upset and starts crying, he didn't even give her 2 seconds to respond. I was just SO furious walking out. I need to know if I'm overreacting! And if I'm bringing them in for stupid reasons? Every time I've taken them I feel like I need to, and 95% of the time it's Dameon's ear infections, but since we've gotten the ENT prescription we haven't needed to go in for ear infections and I bring him in for this stomach visit and he makes it out like I'm nuts, I'm making things up and bringing them in for the most absurd reasons. Ugh. Needless to say, today I switched their pediatricians to one an hour away because I'm SO angry. But I would really like input on if I'm overreacting. Thanks ladies!

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6077797 tn?1520007788
by veronica0808, Feb 08, 2016
well.. mommies NEVER overeact... its our kids and if there is something hurting we gonna take them to the doc as many times as it takes.. they sometimes dont take things seriously and thats how they overlook things.. if it was my kid i change doc.. they have no order and are careless... that would have me super upset.. i hope u think  of an option that would work out for your kids and yourself

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Feb 08, 2016
I already switched pediatricians and this one has great reviews, only downside is he's an hour away but he sounds great so it will be worth the drive. I just hate feeling like they don't take me seriously or that they think i'm overreacting!

6077797 tn?1520007788
by veronica0808, Feb 08, 2016
its hard to find good doctors sometimes.. my kids been going to the same clinic since born.. hes really nice to us.. i went through that with my daughter therapist.. she had such a nasty attitude.. i hated going to her so i changed my daughter with another.. u expect good care and its so upsetting when u dont receive that.  hopefully the new Ped works out great

Avatar universal
by Belle313, Feb 08, 2016
I am going to have to limit what I have to say about all this because I'M LIVID!!! Who in the world does he think he is talking to and treating your kids like that? It doesn't matter if you take them in 100 times in a months time.....he is still getting PAID regardless. How awful for him to put both Dameon and Chloe on the spot like that.  It sounds like he was intimidating which could potentially influence how they both view other doctors in the future.  Your concerns are valid....it's not like you are bringing them in for a hang nail. I'm sorry you all had to experience that. I am glad to hear that you've found someone else.  We commute a distance to take M to her Ped. We love her and she's worth the drive. She has never once made me feel bad for bringing M in for all those food allergies she has. Hope Dameon gets to feeling better soon!

2066718 tn?1431147169
by TTC2006, Feb 08, 2016
You are not over reacting.  Not even a little bit.  What pathetic manners from someone who you are supposed to trust with your care.  Ugh!

Good for you for switching.

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Feb 08, 2016
Thanks Ellen and TTC, it feels good to know I'm not insane because honestly leaving there I was thinking, am I overreacting? Am I taking them in for nothing? But after your comments and thinking about it, what else am I going to do? Let them suffer through infections and stomach aches for some unknown cause? UGH so frustrating!! ESPECIALLY since we pay them to visit each time! You would think they'd be a little more accommodating but I guess not! We meet our new ped in a couple of weeks and FX that we like him!

3233386 tn?1447028295
by mandaszoo, Feb 08, 2016
You are not overreacting. This behaviour is totally unacceptable and inappropriate of a paediatrician  . Young children need their parents to talk and act on their behalf. Personally I would make an official complaint to his governing body.
Also just handing out a script for antibiotics is not the answer. Continuous infections can lead to glue ear and earing problems that can lead to delays with learning so need to be monitored
Hope your littlies feel better soon

3233386 tn?1447028295
by mandaszoo, Feb 08, 2016
You are not overreacting. This behaviour is totally unacceptable and inappropriate of a paediatrician  . Young children need their parents to talk and act on their behalf. Personally I would make an official complaint to his governing body.
Also just handing out a script for antibiotics is not the answer. Continuous infections can lead to glue ear and earing problems that can lead to delays with learning so need to be monitored
Hope your littlies feel better soon

2066718 tn?1431147169
by TTC2006, Feb 08, 2016
I was going to say the continuos eat infections should be dealt with too. He likely needs tubes to drain his ears better.

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Feb 08, 2016
I saw an ENT specialist for his ears, he said since Dameon heals so quickly from ear infections that tubes aren't necessary, also Dameon is VERY sensitive to blood/pain/etc. He will pass out on me seeing blood, and occasionally getting hurt. Tubes will be my very last resort because he will PANIC. Lol, just getting kindergarten shots was a nightmare, I can't imagine a surgery.

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Feb 08, 2016
He has also never had any issues hearing or anything of the sort so far, so we're keeping a close eye on those. The ENT specialist said sometimes they'll have to put in multiple sets of tubes before it will even help and it's actually more of a pain in the butt doing that than just treating the ear infections since he responds so well to antibiotics

961574 tn?1520651703
by mhv, Feb 08, 2016
No overreaction leave him immediately, and get someone new!  What a jerk! !

1383908 tn?1457405328
by Sheaby, Feb 08, 2016
I call Kathryn's pediatrician for EVERYTHING.  So, no, you're not over-reacting, you're being momma bear.  That doctor, on the other hand, sounds like a pompous a$$ and I would make complaints to the medical board.  That's an actual thing and you are well within your rights to do it.  Just google medical board of (your state) complaints and it'll take you right to where you need to be.  Switching was definitely a good idea, and maybe the new doctor will actually take you seriously and do some testing.  I wouldn't be comfortable with a "I think..." answer if he's constantly complaining about tummy aches.  And constant ear infections might mean he needs tubes.  So glad you switched doctors!!

2066718 tn?1431147169
by TTC2006, Feb 08, 2016
Can you or have you tried just using ear drops to deal with the infections, rather than oral antibiotics?  I'd be really leary of giving him that many rounds of antibiotics each year.  But, in the end, you know the pros and cons and need to do what works best for Dameon.

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Feb 09, 2016
The ENT never mentioned ear drops but if he gets another one this year I'll definitelt be talking about another option, I do hate giving him antibiotics because I don't want him to get immune but the dr assured me it takes lots of antibiotics to become immune. I think I am going to find out who I go to to make a complaint, I have seen him many times and he bothers me every time but this time he pushed it too far!

5575813 tn?1452484685
by Hollus, Feb 13, 2016
No, you are absolutely not over-reacting! I am surprised that you lasted this long with such a jerk of a doctor! He has no interpersonal communication skills and his interactions with children are appalling! I feel so badly for you poor kids. That just makes the doctor seem that much scarier and in my book creepy! Sounds like he has a power and control issue times 100!! I think it was wise to find someone else and to get a second opinion. The ENT doesn't sound like he's doing his job either. They should be finding a solution not just medicating the problem. I feel so bad for you K. So you mentioned that Dameon has been having a sore tummy. I was wondering, did you notice this before or after he started taking antibiotics more regularly. I'm hoping it's an easy fix for you. In my experience, some antibiotics can really upset a persons stomach. Is there anything else new to Dameon's routine? A new vitamin or medication even. I hope you have much better results with your new pediatrician and that both your kiddos and you feel more comfortable!! The last thing I want to say is not to feel like you are crazy about symptoms or taking the children to the doctor. You know your kids better than anyone else and if your gut is telling you something is wrong, something is wrong! Trust your intuition and your instinct!! Because of intuition my DW if alive today. We knew something was wrong and insisted that the doctor take a closer look. Had we listened when the doctor said no she's fine, she would have suffered irreversible kidney failure. As it were, it was to close for comfort!! You are your children's best advocate and you are a strong woman K; don't every let anyone make you feel like you are crazy for wanting a closer look. I hope this helps!!

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