May 09, 2010
I feel guilty because I did not go visit my father today. I was really off my game and have been sleeping and otherwise spacing out all day. Then again whenever I don't go to him, I think I have to be productive to justify that so I try to find as many chores as I can to take care of. Then, as with today, if I don't get a lot done, then I get to feel double guilt.
Of course I know all about how a caregiver has to take care of themselves to be able to take care of others. I get that... I really do. It just isn't easy to keep that boundary clean.
Anyway I know ultimately he is in adequate hands when I am not there. And I know a day ain't gonna hurt. I just wish that part of my brain that generates the guilty feelings would cooperate.